Seconds often make the difference between life and death and new technology makes the difference…
The Torah teaches us not to judge another. (“Al Tadin es chavercha…”). And when we see an act that can be interpreted negatively, we are directed to do just the opposite (we are to be “dan lechaf zechus“). It is something we should remember in all our relationships. But when it comes to a life we know nothing about, and of which we understand even less, like that of a well spouse, this dictum is paramount. On the other hand, is it incumbent on us not to set the stage for assumptions, by our actions. Should Rochel have explained her actions to Batsheva to keep her from assuming otherwise and taking it personally? Do we have the responsibility to constantly explain ourselves? Many well spouses feel they do. Others say, that if they did that, they would have to justify everything they do, as people have so little insight into their lives. Many refuse, like Rita, and allow people to assume what they will. Meanwhile, instead of asking for clarity most of us continue to just make assumptions about another’s actions and allow our own and others’ feelings to be hurt.
About the Author:
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Comments are closed.
The poetry slam required entrants to compose original poetry with powerful imagery and energetic rhythm bringing their poems to life – making it palpable to the audience.
“I was so inspired by the beautiful lessons I learned and by the holiness around me that I just couldn’t stop writing songs!” she says.
Several thousand Eastern European Jews had escaped Nazi death and Soviet persecution by fleeing to Shanghai, China.
Now that we’re back to chometz, it’s just the right time to give thought to our wellbeing. Who doesn’t want to lose a few bulky matzah-and-potato pounds? Who wouldn’t like to eat smarter and feel better? If you’re like most people I know, these are probably the first things you’d like to address. It’s time […]
My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.
It was Lia van Leer who changed the image of filmmaking in Israel so that it is now seen as an expression of culture and not mere entertainment.
“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”
We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.
The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.
“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.
Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.
When one is blind one learns to use Braille to read. When one cannot walk, a wheelchair gives mobility. Sign language allows a mute person to speak and ocular implants assist in hearing when one is deaf. These are all compensatory strategies that help a person function despite his disability. But compensatory strategies are not just for physical problems. Understanding our psychological weaknesses and setting up our lives to ensure that we are not tempted to repeat our past mistakes, is as necessary as any aid to the disabled.
Well spouses have often discovered that their friends and relatives, despite their closeness to the situation, often don’t realize the tremendous emotional impact living with chronic illness has on the family. With the best intentions, suggestions, ideas and criticism are offered, based on the non-experience of those with healthy families. Even when the good intentioned get a taste of the difficulties, it is sometimes not enough for them to then identify and understand what the family of the chronically ill must face on a constant basis.
Over the past two weeks I have shared letters from a therapist and a well spouse. Both of the letters gave personal insights into the process of losing hope, how we react when that happens and some ways of coping when test scores, diagnosis and just simple repetitive behavior indicate that change for the better is impossible.
I’ve read your last few articles on psycho-neurological testing (Oct.8-22) with interest. As a therapist who has counseled couples dealing with chronic illness, I’d like to give you another perspective.
Your articles on the Neuro-Psychological Testing were right on (October 8-22). My husband underwent testing twice and your articles explained it things exactly the way they were. Besides the test, we also tried therapy.
Very often when we can’t face our big hurts or big loses we focus on the little ones. We can discuss those. We can cry over the small loses, be angry at the smaller hurts even though it may look trite and sound ridiculous to others.
Over the last two weeks we have been discussing one way in which well spouses can determine whether behavior displayed by their ill partners is caused by their illness or is a way they have chosen to act. We have focused on Psycho-Neurological testing, what it can tell us, as well as its pros and cons.
Last week I discussed a question that haunts many well spouses: not knowing if the difficult and often inappropriate behavior frequently displayed by their partners are caused by the disease and therefore not-controllable, or if the behavior is a choice the spouse makes and can therefore be changed. This doubt can be the source of much frustration and many marital disagreements. One way of alleviating this doubt is by having a psycho- neurological work up done. But that path is not so simple.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/a-story-of-a-rabbi-and-assumptions/2006/06/21/
Scan this QR code to visit this page online: