web analytics
November 23, 2014 / 1 Kislev, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Herzliya Campus A Day on Campus

To mark IDC Herzliya’s 20th anniversary, we spent a day following Prof. Uriel Reichman, IDC’s founder and president, and Jonathan Davis, VP for External Relations, around its delightful campus.



Are You Playing Russian Roulette With Your Life?

I recently attended an out-of-town simcha. Among the guests were several acquaintances whom I hadn’t seen in several years. Most looked the same – a few wrinkles here and a extra few pounds there, but no noteworthy differences. However, the vast change in the husband of a friend who had passed away shocked, saddened and angered me. Though still middle-aged, he looked as if he had shrunk. His clothes did not fit properly and his general look was unkempt. His deep emotional grief was reflected in his disheveled physical appearance. He was lost without his wife.

The distress I felt was the kind you experience when someone you are fond of does something foolhardy and ends up damaged, like failing to wear a seatbelt and becoming paralyzed in a car crash. I felt anguish because this was a tragedy that might have been prevented.

My friend – this grieving man’s wife – had suffered from a serious problem which was not heeded. She had a lump that should have been investigated, but she ignored it for a very long time. It was almost as if my friend had resurrected and embraced the childhood belief that if you close your eyes, the monster does not exist. If you can’t see it, then it isn’t there. But that does not work in the real world. Refusal to acknowledge danger signals do not make them go away.

Months later, when she was wreaked by physical weakness and pain, she opened her eyes. By that time, the monster had grown and was difficult to ignore. It is hard to say if early intervention would have made a difference in the ultimate outcome. But I do know that it is easier to put out a small campfire than a forest fire. The devastation of her family could have been postponed.

The price of deliberate obliviousness is very high – emotionally, physically, socially, and financially. Widowed spouses buckle under the heavy responsibilities and burdens of day-to-day living. Simchas are minimized by empty chairs, and grandchildren are deprived of creating memories because magic moments cannot be shared with those who no longer are there.

Sometimes, the inclination to take care of a potential problem is there, but there is a lack of medical coverage. This too can be deadly.

In the case of another friend, her relative – a diabetic with no health insurance – delayed getting treatment for a small cut that ultimately infected her whole body. Her first grandchild, born a few months later, was named after her.

There are so many middle class families who are playing Russian roulette with their lives because of a lack of health insurance. Getting coverage should be their number one priority. In far too many cases, money that should be set aside for health coverage is used for important but not crucial expenses – expenses that have more to do with vanity than with actual needs.

Unfortunately, people think that if they feel well, then they don’t need to go to the doctor, dentist, or optometrist for an annual check up. (Brain, eye, facial, tongue and throat tumors can be revealed during routine eye tests and dental work). But that’s exactly when you should go. Because if you are feeling well when a medical problem is discovered, chances are that any problematic find can be resolved successfully because it is still just a “low-flame” – and not yet a conflagration.

I recently had a series of medical tests, including a colonoscopy, which were not the most pleasant. I had to refrain from eating solid food for about 30 hours, and gulped down three rather unsavory liquids. I had to be hooked to an IV, and while the actual procedure took about 20 minute, I had to be in a hospital setting for several hours for pre- and post- procedure workups. I really rather would have been doing something more pleasant. Like taking out the garbage.

When I was asked by the nurse taking my medical history why I was getting a colonoscopy, I told her that this was just a screening (like a first mammogram) as I had reached the age when it was considered prudent to get one. And thank G-d, I now can have peace of mind – at least in that department - for a decade. The patient next to me, however, was there because she was experiencing worrisome symptoms. Like many people, she opted for a medical examination when she was already not well. Another patient was told he had polyps – a usually benign growth that can predicate cancer, a disease that in his case could likely be prevented. His decision to have a screening probably saved his life.

When a shidduch is being considered, there are so many questions posed by both sides. I strongly suggest that a key question is whether the young couple has medical insurance.

What good is yichus, looks, or midos if there is even a slight possibility that a lack of health care can take the person away prematurely, leaving broken-spirited survivors?

It is crucial that young, old and in-between have health insurance so that they can follow Hashem’s commandment to preserve their lives. Health care is a must, not a luxury. Borrow, beg, or give up your car or move into a smaller place if you have to, but make medical coverage your number one priority. And when there is coverage, be scrupulous about getting your annual checkups and screenings.

If you suspect a problem, if you are experiencing symptoms, don’t close your eyes wide shut. If the problem persists, investigate it. There is no need to panic at every little bump, lump or ache. You don’t have to run to the doctor the minute you have a headache. But if it feels different than normal, or lasts longer than normal, don’t hide your head in the sand.

You may be stoic and say you don’t want to upset your family. Don’t ignore warning signals in a misguided attempt to “protect” them. Because your avoidance, your delay, can have serious, non-reversible consequences. Then, who will protect them?

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Are You Playing Russian Roulette With Your Life?”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
What, me incite terror? Abba: "The Jews must be barred by any means possible."
Ex-Senior Justice Official Asks Homeland Security to Ban Abbas from US
Latest Sections Stories
Kupfer-112114

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Astaire-112114-Horse

There were many French Jews who jumped at the chance to shed their ancient identity and assimilate.

L to R: Sheldon Adelson, Shawn Evenhaim, Haim Saban

As Rabbi Shemtov stood on the stage and looked out at the attendees, he told them that “Rather than take photos with your cellphones, take a mental photo and keep this Shabbat in your mind and take it with you throughout your life.”

South-Florida-logo

Yeshiva v’Kollel Bais Moshe Chaim will be holding a grand celebration on the occasion of the institution’s 40th anniversary on Sunday evening, December 7. Alumni, students, friends and faculty of the yeshiva, also known as Talmudic University of Florida, will celebrate the achievement and vision of its founders and the spiritual guidance of its educational […]

The yeshiva night accommodates all levels of Jewish education.

Recently, Fort Lauderdale has been the focus of international news, and it has not been about the wonderful weather.

Rabbi Sacks held the position of chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth for 22 years until September 2013.

The event included a dvar Torah by student Pesach Bixon, an overview of courses, information about student life and a student panel that answered frequently asked questions from a student perspective.

It is difficult to write about such a holy person, for I fear I will not accurately portray his greatness…

“Grandpa,” I wondered, as the swing began to slow down, “why are there numbers on your arm?”

So the real question is, “How can we, as hosts, make sure our guest beds are comfortable?” Because your guests will never say anything.

It was a land of opportunity, a place where someone who wasn’t afraid of a little hard work, or the challenges of adapting to a different climate and culture, could prosper.

Rule #1: A wife should never accompany her husband to hang out with his buddies at a fantasy football draft. Unless beer and cigars are her thing, that is.

There are many people today with very little training who put out shingles and proclaim themselves to be marital coaches, shalom bayis helpers, advisers etc.

The two World Series combatants, the Kansas City Royals and the San Francisco Giants, were Wild Card teams (meaning they didn’t win their respective divisions) that got hot at the right time.

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-112114

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Kupfer-092614-Books

Not knowing any better, I assumed that Molly and her mother must be voracious readers.

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Where once divorce in heimische communities was relatively uncommon, nowadays every family has a son, daughter, sibling cousin who is divorced – sometimes twice or even three times!

Many go about the business of living frum, observant lives, but they are only going through the motions.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/are-you-playing-russian-roulette-with-your-life/2004/09/22/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: