web analytics
November 28, 2014 / 6 Kislev, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Herzliya Campus A Day on Campus

To mark IDC Herzliya’s 20th anniversary, we spent a day following Prof. Uriel Reichman, IDC’s founder and president, and Jonathan Davis, VP for External Relations, around its delightful campus.



One Is Hashem: Imbuing Your Child With Emunah And Bitachon

Back-To-School-logo-083112

How should you handle the tough questions? With young children, don’t give them more than they’re asking for, says Golding. It’s not until kids are about seven to nine years old that they can begin to think abstractly and understand that there is a world beyond the physical one. Let them know that just like you are there to take care of them, Hashem will always take care of them, too.

As they get older, one way to help them understand bad things happening is to explain that Hashem is saving a great deal of good for the next world, says Rabbi Finkelstein. “All the ice cream, toys, music–nothing adds up to the reward we get from Hashem in the next world,” he tells his students.

When something doesn’t work out the way they hoped, tefillah can help children channel their anger at Hashem. “Knowing ‘I’m always able to tell Hashem what’s on my mind’–that’s comforting,” says Rabbi Hochbaum. Children can readily understand that Hashem’s answer is sometimes “no” because they are used to hearing “no” from us.

It’s also reassuring to talk about Moshiach coming, the time when we will be able to ask Eliyahu HaNavi himself for answers. The Talmudic acronym “Teiku” (Tishbi yitaretz kushios v’avayos) can become a mantra to quell the most vexing queries. “Some adults have made the concept of Moshiach becoming a kiddie thing, a quasi-Lubavitch thing,” notes Rabbi Finkelstein. “[Parents] are afraid to go there because they can’t answer all the questions about what it will be like.” But it’s a source of comfort, he says, for kids to think about when Moshiach comes, and to know “I’m going to see Zaidy again.”

If your child is really struggling, “it’s great chinuchto take [him or her] to a local rav to help answer questions,” says Rabbi Horowitz. It’s always OK to say “I don’t know,” he stresses. But if you find yourself regularly coming up empty, it’s time to refill your own spiritual tank.

Fortify Your Own Faith

“You need to get answers for yourself so you’ll be ready when your kids ask–because the questions will certainly come,” says Rabbi Hochbaum. “You need to go to classes, read, strengthen your own emunah and bitachon,” agrees Golding. “Give yourself oxygen first, like on the plane.” You don’t want your kids exposed to persistent cynicism toward yahadus from adults around them, she notes, but it’s good for them to see you working through your own little crises of faith.

Although early on children will parrot what they hear and mimic what they see, ultimately “they can’t be fooled,” says Golding. You can’t transmit emunah that you yourself don’t possess.

Speak Their Language

There are many types of children, and many ways to reach them. As a parent, “you need to find a way to reach each child, even one who is disengaged,” says Rabbi Hochbaum. One child might initiate discussions with you; another might need you to open the dialogue. “With some kids, the way to get them is with a really interesting Tosfos. With others the way to get them is with a kumzitz,” notes Rabbi Hochbaum. If we expect our children’s teachers to take the time to figure out what makes them tick, we certainly must do no less.

Rabbi Finkelstein, the storyteller, finds stories an enormously successful teaching tool. “I can explain [something] but it’s a little beyond their grasp,” he says. “[But when] I demonstrate it through a story about a gadol or even something that happened to me, that’s a way they can get it.” Parents can use their own stories, he says. If you have an experience that reminds you of Hashem’s hashgacha pratis, come home and share it with your children.

The Burksfield Bike Club, the fictional group of yeshiva boys whose adventures Rabbi Finkelstein chronicles in his series by that name, has a motto: “Do your best and ask Hashem to do the rest.” A pithy saying like that, posted on the fridge, can become a go-to message when your child has a rough day. And don’t be afraid to make up a song on the brink of a meltdown. (Golding’s daughter-in-law sings, “This is just a test, this is for the best, now let’s clean up this mess!”)

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “One Is Hashem: Imbuing Your Child With Emunah And Bitachon”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
A would-be preacher delivers his message of hate from the Muslim"holy site" on the Temple Mount.
Al Aqsa Mosque ‘Stand-Up’ Preacher Calls for Annihilation of the United States
Latest Sections Stories
Collecting-History-logo

Not as well known, however, is Keller’s involvement with Jewish and Israeli communities.

Rabbi Maurice Lamm

Creativity without clarity is not sufficient for writing. I am eternally thankful to Hashem for his gift to me.

This core idea of memory is very difficult to fully comprehend; however, it is essential.

Sometimes the most powerful countermove one can make when a person is screaming is to calmly say that her behavior is not helpful and then continue interacting with the rest of the family while ignoring the enraged person.

“Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples shall divide within you.”

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

There were many French Jews who jumped at the chance to shed their ancient identity and assimilate.

As Rabbi Shemtov stood on the stage and looked out at the attendees, he told them that “Rather than take photos with your cellphones, take a mental photo and keep this Shabbat in your mind and take it with you throughout your life.”

Yeshiva v’Kollel Bais Moshe Chaim will be holding a grand celebration on the occasion of the institution’s 40th anniversary on Sunday evening, December 7. Alumni, students, friends and faculty of the yeshiva, also known as Talmudic University of Florida, will celebrate the achievement and vision of its founders and the spiritual guidance of its educational […]

The yeshiva night accommodates all levels of Jewish education.

Recently, Fort Lauderdale has been the focus of international news, and it has not been about the wonderful weather.

Rabbi Sacks held the position of chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth for 22 years until September 2013.

More Articles from Ziona Greenwald

Numbers permeate our culture,not advanced mathematics but snapshot stats that provoke snap judgments

Lions-Gate-062014

The Lion’s Gate takes us from the dawn of the state in 1948, through intervening battles, to the lead-up to June 1967, and finally through the harrowing six days of fighting.

Even a foxhole Yid has to admit that antisemitism is on the upswing.

Geller, a mother of five who made aliyah from Monsey last year, offers a glimpse – with lots of photos – into her busy family life.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then children’s eyes are the window to the Almighty Himself.

It is ten o’clock in the morning. I am at a local park with my daughter. A number of children are climbing and sliding, imbibing the fresh air. In their orbit are a smaller number of women, some milling around on foot, others sitting on the benches conversing and minding strollers. Trailing my own child, I play a silent game: Who is a Mommy? Which, if any, of these women (who range from lovingly attentive to disturbingly disengaged) are the children’s mothers, and which are babysitters?

We asked several experienced mechanchim for their insights on how to shepherd children from their first “Modeh Ani” to the understanding that Hashem alone holds the key to every aspect of their existence. Here are the key principles they shared.

When the disproportion of terrorist acts committed by Muslims – and the resulting hordes cheering the carnage on the Arab street – lead clear-minded observers to conclude that jihadism is the dominant strain in the Islamic world, we are accused of painting with an unfairly broad brush, discounting the silent (and invisible) majority of Muslims who oppose violence and crave peace.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/back-to-school/one-is-hashem-imbuing-your-child-with-emunah-and-bitachon/2012/08/31/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: