It is very important but also enormously difficult to prepare for the inevitable. With chronic illness, it is even more necessary to do it early on. That is the only way you can make sure that everything is as you wish and less stress is placed on the family. However, if that is not possible for any reason, it is important for friends and family to realize that last minute choices are limited and should trust that the family acted appropriately within the bounds of the choices they had. Comments that question the choices made are inappropriate and only cause the family coping with the enormous grief they have to question themselves and make them feel worse.
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