web analytics
December 20, 2014 / 28 Kislev, 5775
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
8000 meals Celebrate Eight Days of Chanukah – With 8,000 Free Meals Daily to Israel’s Poor

Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.



The Mourning Of Hope: Seeking to Accommodate Light in Darkness

“After I was transferred to rehab, which would be my home for a year, I was taught how to deal with my new situation on a day-to-day basis.

“From the beginning my mother only wanted family or Jewish aides to be taking care of me.  For the first few years, my family members were my primary caretakers.  However, as my siblings grew up and got married, there were fewer and fewer people who could stay with me, care for me and sleep with me, as I required such help 24/7.

“It took quite a bit of trial and error, until my mother became convinced that the only way to solve the care giving problem was to import foreign workers.  In Israel, these people are generally not Jewish, and come from Third World countries.  The Israeli government, and more importantly the Health and Foreign and National Health Ministries not only permit this nationwide solution to our aging and ill population, but in many cases underwrite the entire expense.

“For me, they were able to supply two male aides.

“As we were surprised to learn, and by we, I mean my Charedi family – and especially my mother – the cultural differences only worked for me.

“A few years ago, Hashem sent me a wonderful helper who came from India.  He is a nice, respectful and generous person. Not much time passed before we became quick friends. D. has shown me that “giving” is not just something one does; he has elevated it to an art form.

“As he wasn’t the first aide we had, I had others to compare him with. I am not exaggerating when I say that he stands head and shoulders above all others. He works for me with another man, but he is my “Main-Man,”with me 24/7. He sleeps by my side at night and helps me put on Tefillin every morning.  My family teasingly calls us the “The Odd Couple.”  In fact, our conversations and bickering make us sound more like an old married couple rather than an aide and patient.

“That my family, especially my mother, is able to do this is a sign that they have taken a baby step in learning not to judge others by his or her external appearance, cultural background and religion.  They are learning to see a person by his or her inner self, the heart and soul, independent of extraneous information that only serves to color the true data.

“In a few months D. goes home on vacation and to check out the ‘shidduch’ prospects his parents have arranged for him. Two years ago when he went home for two months, I became so depressed that I couldn’t function.  No one could find a pill or therapy to ease my sadness.

“When he returned, the depression vanished overnight.  This time, however, my sorrow is mixed with my happiness for him.  He is going to find a wife, become engaged.  He will return for the year-long engagement period and then go home to begin his life in India as a married man.  As hard as that will be for me, I cannot help but feel joy for him. He is so deserving of everything good. I can’t begrudge him a thing, after so many years of his devotion and friendship, and the calm he has imbued in me.  I owe him more than he owes me.  I only hope and pray that the next aide is at least eighty percent as good and kind as D. was, and is, to me.

“One of the reasons I am sharing all this is because one of the life lessons my accident has taught me is the skill of opening my eyes and heart to the souls of others so different from those we were raised with.

About the Author: Judith Guedalia is Director, Neuropsychology Unit; Chief Psychologist; Shaare Zedek Medical Center; Licensed Supervisor and Specialist in Medical, Rehabilitation, and Developmental Psychology; EMDR Certified Practitioner: Supervisor; Certified ADOS Diagnostician; Co-Chair Nefesh Israel. Dr. Guedalia can be reached through her website: www.drjudithguedalia.com ALSO her new book: A Neuropsychologist’s Journal: Interventions and Judi-isms is available through Urim Press or on Amazon.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Mourning Of Hope: Seeking to Accommodate Light in Darkness”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Posted to Twitter in Ferguson, MO by St. Louis County Police: "Bricks thrown at police, 2 police cars burned, gun seized by police. Tonight was disappointing."  Their motto is, "To protect and serve."
Prosecutor in Ferguson Case: ‘Witnesses Lied Under Oath’
Latest Sections Stories
Games-121914

Here are examples of games that need to be played by more than one person and an added bonus: they’re all Shabbos-friendly.

South-Florida-logo

The incident was completely unforeseeable. The only term to describe the set of circumstances surrounding it is “freak occurrence.”

South-Florida-logo

The first Chabad Center in Broward County, Chabad of South Broward, now runs nearly fifty programs and agencies. T

The NHS was also honored to have Bob Diener as keynote speaker.

Written with flowing language and engaging style, Attar weaves a spell that combines mystery, humor, adventure and Kabbalah in the most magical place in the world, the Old City of erusalem.

There are those who highlight the diversity of these different teachings, seeing each rebbe as teaching a separate path.

Rav Dynovisz will be speaking in Hebrew on Wednesday, January 7, at 7:30 p.m.

Rabbi Simeon Schreiber, senior chaplain at Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach, saw a small room in the hospital that was dark and dismal but could be used for Sabbath guests.

“The secret to a good donut is using quality ingredients and the ability to be patient and give them time to proof.”

I so desperately want to have a loving relationship with my stepsons.

The Liberty Bell is a symbol of American Independence.

Because you can’t have kids pouring huge jugs of oil into tiny glasses, unless you want to turn your house into an environmental disaster.

Try these with your kids; there’s something for every age group and once all the recipes are made, dinner will be ready!

You children will build the country and you will help restore Israel to her former glory.

More Articles from Dr. Judith Guedalia and Chaim K.

Without warning, the first awareness of an onset of a serious accident or illness brings with it a dawn of a new world, complete, as it were, with its own natural laws that are not always clear to the uninitiated. This leaves both the “newbie” and his or her family, feeling that they have landed in a strange new world without a passport or travel guide.

It is more than a year since I have seen Chaim K. The last time was when he was hospitalized here at Shaare Zedek’s Pain Clinic with intractable pain. I had kept in touch with him and his doctor, and had recently noticed that he changed his picture on Facebook. When I asked him if he wanted to meet, he answered in the affirmative, and today he “rolled” in smiling.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/extras/the-mourning-of-hope-seeking-to-accommodate-light-in-darkness/2013/12/26/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: