Join Meir Panim’s campaign to “light up” Chanukah for families in need.
I have spent the last two articles discussing some common joys and problems we face as the holidays come and go. Baby Boomer women, growing up in the era (or should I say, “with the error,”) of the self imposed attitude of “we can do it all” without help, have for the most part not discussed the difficulty of the holidays with anyone except other boomers. Instead of sharing and discussing the complications of putting it all together with their family in a mutually helpful way, many boomers smile and force themselves to do it all without help from those around them. This can only be done at a price. The cost is often exhaustion and stress, both emotional and physical. Many may even become resentful at the lack of help they feel should somehow be forthcoming from those around them. However, the message they have always given, without words, is that help is not needed. Why should family help, if they don’t know that help is needed?
You can reach me at email@example.com.
About the Author:
If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.
Comments are closed.
An incredible child protégé and a world chess champion, Boris Spassky (1937- ), best known for his “Match of the Century” loss in Reykjavík to Fischer, will always be inexorably tied to the latter.
In our times, most of us when we pray, our minds are on something else-it is hard to focus all the time.
The participants discussed the rich Jewish-Hungarian heritage, including that two-thirds of the fourteen Hungarian Nobel Prize winners have Jewish origin.
Today’s smiles are in the merit of my friend and I made a conscious effort to smile throughout the day.
When someone with a fixed mindset has a negative interaction with a friend or loved one, he or she immediately projects that rejection onto him or herself saying: “I’m unlovable.”
How many potential shidduchim are not coming about because we, the mothers, are not allowing them to go through?
Is the Torah offering nechama by subtly hinting that death brings reunion with loved ones who preceded you?
She approached Holofernes and, with a sword concealed under her robe, severed his head.
Here are examples of games that need to be played by more than one person and an added bonus: they’re all Shabbos-friendly.
The incident was completely unforeseeable. The only term to describe the set of circumstances surrounding it is “freak occurrence.”
When one is blind one learns to use Braille to read. When one cannot walk, a wheelchair gives mobility. Sign language allows a mute person to speak and ocular implants assist in hearing when one is deaf. These are all compensatory strategies that help a person function despite his disability. But compensatory strategies are not just for physical problems. Understanding our psychological weaknesses and setting up our lives to ensure that we are not tempted to repeat our past mistakes, is as necessary as any aid to the disabled.
Well spouses have often discovered that their friends and relatives, despite their closeness to the situation, often don’t realize the tremendous emotional impact living with chronic illness has on the family. With the best intentions, suggestions, ideas and criticism are offered, based on the non-experience of those with healthy families. Even when the good intentioned get a taste of the difficulties, it is sometimes not enough for them to then identify and understand what the family of the chronically ill must face on a constant basis.
Over the past two weeks I have shared letters from a therapist and a well spouse. Both of the letters gave personal insights into the process of losing hope, how we react when that happens and some ways of coping when test scores, diagnosis and just simple repetitive behavior indicate that change for the better is impossible.
I’ve read your last few articles on psycho-neurological testing (Oct.8-22) with interest. As a therapist who has counseled couples dealing with chronic illness, I’d like to give you another perspective.
Your articles on the Neuro-Psychological Testing were right on (October 8-22). My husband underwent testing twice and your articles explained it things exactly the way they were. Besides the test, we also tried therapy.
Very often when we can’t face our big hurts or big loses we focus on the little ones. We can discuss those. We can cry over the small loses, be angry at the smaller hurts even though it may look trite and sound ridiculous to others.
Over the last two weeks we have been discussing one way in which well spouses can determine whether behavior displayed by their ill partners is caused by their illness or is a way they have chosen to act. We have focused on Psycho-Neurological testing, what it can tell us, as well as its pros and cons.
Last week I discussed a question that haunts many well spouses: not knowing if the difficult and often inappropriate behavior frequently displayed by their partners are caused by the disease and therefore not-controllable, or if the behavior is a choice the spouse makes and can therefore be changed. This doubt can be the source of much frustration and many marital disagreements. One way of alleviating this doubt is by having a psycho- neurological work up done. But that path is not so simple.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/its-time-for-superwoman-and-super-caregiver-to-retire-part-iii/2009/05/20/
Scan this QR code to visit this page online: