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I have spent the last two articles discussing some common joys and problems we face as the holidays come and go. Baby Boomer women, growing up in the era (or should I say, “with the error,”) of the self imposed attitude of “we can do it all” without help, have for the most part not discussed the difficulty of the holidays with anyone except other boomers. Instead of sharing and discussing the complications of putting it all together with their family in a mutually helpful way, many boomers smile and force themselves to do it all without help from those around them. This can only be done at a price. The cost is often exhaustion and stress, both emotional and physical. Many may even become resentful at the lack of help they feel should somehow be forthcoming from those around them. However, the message they have always given, without words, is that help is not needed. Why should family help, if they don’t know that help is needed?
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What better proof do we need than the recent war with Hamas in Gaza, dubbed “Operation Protective Edge,” that transformed the pain and suffering of three families into a sense of unparalleled unity and outpouring of love of the entire nation of Israel?
So many families are mourning, and all along we mourned with them.
In addition to his great erudition, Rabi Akiva was known for his optimism.
What can we do to help him stop feeling so sad all the time?
Children with dyslexia or dysgraphia frequently have problems in social relationships.
Israel’s neighbors engaged in hostilities from the onset. The War of Independence was a hard-won battle. Aggression and enmity has followed for 66 years.
The contest will include student-created sculpture, computer graphic design, collage, videography, PowerPoint and painting.
David, an 8-year-old boy on the autism spectrum, recently attended a Friendship Circle event. As he entered he told his Dad, “I love coming to the FC programs ‘cause everyone loves each other.”
Goldsmith himself went on his own “voyage of discovery” to the places where his grandfather and uncle landed and were sent.
Frank proclaimed himself Zvi’s successor and the reincarnation of King David.
Almost immediately the audience began singing and clapping and continued almost without stop throughout the rest of the concert.
As of late, vintage has definitely been in vogue in the Orthodox community.
When one is blind one learns to use Braille to read. When one cannot walk, a wheelchair gives mobility. Sign language allows a mute person to speak and ocular implants assist in hearing when one is deaf. These are all compensatory strategies that help a person function despite his disability. But compensatory strategies are not just for physical problems. Understanding our psychological weaknesses and setting up our lives to ensure that we are not tempted to repeat our past mistakes, is as necessary as any aid to the disabled.
Well spouses have often discovered that their friends and relatives, despite their closeness to the situation, often don’t realize the tremendous emotional impact living with chronic illness has on the family. With the best intentions, suggestions, ideas and criticism are offered, based on the non-experience of those with healthy families. Even when the good intentioned get a taste of the difficulties, it is sometimes not enough for them to then identify and understand what the family of the chronically ill must face on a constant basis.
Over the past two weeks I have shared letters from a therapist and a well spouse. Both of the letters gave personal insights into the process of losing hope, how we react when that happens and some ways of coping when test scores, diagnosis and just simple repetitive behavior indicate that change for the better is impossible.
I’ve read your last few articles on psycho-neurological testing (Oct.8-22) with interest. As a therapist who has counseled couples dealing with chronic illness, I’d like to give you another perspective.
Your articles on the Neuro-Psychological Testing were right on (October 8-22). My husband underwent testing twice and your articles explained it things exactly the way they were. Besides the test, we also tried therapy.
Very often when we can’t face our big hurts or big loses we focus on the little ones. We can discuss those. We can cry over the small loses, be angry at the smaller hurts even though it may look trite and sound ridiculous to others.
Over the last two weeks we have been discussing one way in which well spouses can determine whether behavior displayed by their ill partners is caused by their illness or is a way they have chosen to act. We have focused on Psycho-Neurological testing, what it can tell us, as well as its pros and cons.
Last week I discussed a question that haunts many well spouses: not knowing if the difficult and often inappropriate behavior frequently displayed by their partners are caused by the disease and therefore not-controllable, or if the behavior is a choice the spouse makes and can therefore be changed. This doubt can be the source of much frustration and many marital disagreements. One way of alleviating this doubt is by having a psycho- neurological work up done. But that path is not so simple.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/its-time-for-superwoman-and-super-caregiver-to-retire-part-iii/2009/05/20/
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