web analytics
April 19, 2015 / 30 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Beware Of The Krimme

Kupfer-082914-Chuppah

People often ask me where I get my ideas for my columns, and the truth is, often I will see and hear people interacting and it leaves an impression on me that I think is worth sharing. Sometimes it is a positive one; other times what I observe is quite disturbing and disheartening.

Sometimes a reader will ask me to write about something that he/she experienced in order to educate people – often to give them the benefit of that experience and offer some insight.

One person complained to me about the sad reality of difficult people. In Yiddish, there is a word that nails the essence of what can only be described as difficult individuals. They are krimme menschen. Now the word “krim” (or krum) technically means crooked, but that implies not straight or dishonest, which is not necessarily the case. When applied to human beings, it means warped, as often their thinking is distorted and awry.

The following example is based on a real situation.

A young lady, the youngest of her family, was getting married and of course the various machatanim (in-laws of siblings – there is no actual word in English) were invited. One couple had to drive several hours to come to the simcha. As the chuppah approached the michitin (sibling’s father-in-law) inquired as to what sheva bracha he was getting. The kallah’s parents were taken aback because they had not planned to give this man a bracha especially because none of their other machatanim were going to be called up. That was the case as well for the machatanim on the chassan’s side. There were roshei yeshiva and rabbanim who were slated for kibudim.

Sensing the michitin was going to feel slighted, the parents explained the situation to an elderly uncle who graciously gave up his spot. With a sigh of deep relief for a “situation” that was averted, the parents joyfully walked their daughter to her new life.

After the chuppah and throughout the meal, the kallah’s parents noticed that these particular machatanim were aloof and barely joined in the dancing. It was later conveyed to them by their child that her in-laws were insulted that her father-in-law was given the third, but as it turns out shortest bracha,the one that ends with yotzair ha’adam.

This is krimkeit – when an individual has an inflated sense of importance and expects to be treated according to his “higher” status. The fact that other machatanim did not expect to get a sheva bracha at the chuppah just emphasizes how twisted this couple’s thinking was.

Not unexpectedly, after years of trying to please her impossible-to-please in-laws, catering to their demands and expectations, trying to placate them and give in to their demands, the young wife gave her husband an ultimatum: They move far away or get divorced.

Then there is another kind of krimkeit: gross indifference. Decades ago I would occasionally help out in my children’s school. One time, the field where the kids played during recess was particularly muddy, as it had rained heavily the day before. A child was brought into the office covered in mud, literally from head to toe. He had been playing baseball and “slid” in order to get to base. A home run for his team but a big mess for him. I called his mother and asked her if she could bring a change of clothing. From the background noise I could tell she was in a restaurant. She told me that she was busy and that he could sit in his wet clothes for the rest of the day. It would teach him to be more careful.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Beware Of The Krimme”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
U.S. President Barack Obama
Obama’s Creativity: Signing Bonus Substituting for Sanctions Lifting
Latest Sections Stories
Lewis-041715-Jewish-Soldiers

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

Jerusalem Heights Penthouse

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

Schonfeld-logo1

She wasn’t paying attention to what the child did when the mother was not in the room. Rather, her main focus was on what the child did when the mother returned.

The Mets at least have hope for the future with some good young pitchers.

French thinkers of the Enlightenment were generally not pro-Semitic, to say the least.

My Jewish star was battered, indeed it was a wreck
But I picked it up anyway and put it around my neck
To know that hatred mangled it was surely very painful
But just the same to me it is still very beautiful.

A compulsion is a repetitive action. But what underlies the compulsion is an obsession or fear.

When any student in the building is in danger of failing, the equivalent of tornado warning sirens should wail around the school.

It goes without saying that when it comes to your kids, safety is always your number one priority.

After the last of Austria’s Jews were murdered, Albert confiscated whatever Jewish property remained.

How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-030615

Times have changed and divorced people have sadly gone from being singularities to almost a sub-community.

Kupfer-020615

The role of the rav has expanded to include situations that have nothing to do with halacha.

Is the Torah offering nechama by subtly hinting that death brings reunion with loved ones who preceded you?

Was it possible that these butchers of Jewish children had been living the “good life” all these years?

I believe that each person is half a soul and marriage reunites the two.

The Presbyterian Church USA voted to divest from three companies that do business with Israel.

Sadly, there are mothers who, due to severe depression are unable or unwilling to prepare nourishing food for their children.

Neglect, indifference or criticism can break a person’s neshama.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/beware-of-the-krimme/2014/08/29/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: