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Find A Solution – But Not On My Cheshbon


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If that is too inconvenient, there is the option of just walking to your destination – a great way to burn off artery-clogging kishka and kugel calories. “Healthy” men who don’t want to be tempted by post-toddler “Delilahs” can walk with their heads bent down, their eyes protected by dark sunglasses. Or they can don blindfolds with razor thin slits – significantly limiting their vision but leaving them with enough to navigate their way as they walk.

However, if female toes sticking out of sandals get their hormones raging, perhaps they should just stay indoors, or if they really need to go somewhere they can tape their eyes shut and hire a seasoned blind person to guide them.

But the aforementioned options are limited in their scope. To protect the throngs who feel their devout sensibilities are being battered by sinful females and others in the midst, they need to take a close look at the Amish communities in the US. And learn how to live in the 21st century in a way that isolates them from modern culture and outside influences while being self-sustaining – most do not accept Social Security benefits, unemployment insurance or welfare.

The Amish, both women and men, are dressed very modestly, the women wearing long sleeved dresses, bonnets and aprons. They have farms and grow their own food and craft furniture, etc. While there are various degrees of strictness, most Amish do not have land lines, cell phones, radios, televisions, computers, etc. and don’t own or use cars, feeling that cars would provide easier access to the modern world. The Amish are very community oriented, helping one another to build barns and homes. Part of their avoidance of labor-saving technologies is their fear that it could undermine dependence on the community. They are very family and community oriented and view children as a blessing from G-d. Their language is even similar to Yiddish, being a German dialect. Most importantly, they have successfully managed to maintain their way of life without corrupting, outside influences seeping in and conversely without antagonizing those outside their community.

Perhaps there are those among our brethren who can create their own communities away from the cities and their sinful temptations and become self-sufficient, like the Amish. Instead of asking others to accommodate their issues, seen by many as unreasonable or fanatic, they could fix the problem without imposing on others.

Thus they would never need to worry about eight year old girls flaunting themselves and causing impure thoughts in hapless male bystanders as they walk to school, and most importantly, dati eight year old girls would no longer have to cower in fear as they make their way to class.

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A young lady in her early 20’s, “Sarah” was redt to “Shlomie” a boy from her home town who learned in an out-of-town yeshiva. The families know each other well, which in today’s shidduch scene is a big plus – since it was therefore unlikely the kids would “fall in” due to misinformation and misinterpretations.

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I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I have to do what is right for me – as long as it’s “ halachically kosher” and doesn’t negatively impact on others – and not worry too much about what others think.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and that is precisely what almost always happens in situations where a reference knew someone had serious but hidden emotional issues, but did not reveal the information to the person making inquiries.

Time never stood still for anyone – why would I be the exception? In my hubris, I thought that somehow I would live forever – and I suspect we all have secretly felt that way, even though we know it’s a fantasy.

One can argue that forgetting something on a regular basis is a sign of advancing age and it’s time to for a neurological evaluation, but based on the number of young people who need to replace a lost smart phone (too bad it’s not smart enough to warn its owner that that they have become separated – or is there an app for that too?), I safely can say that losing “stuff” cuts across the generations.

For quite a few days in late December, Toronto was transformed into a breathtaking – literally and figuratively – frigid winter wonderland, where every twig, leaf, car door, and outdoor wire and cable was totally encased in ice. When the sun shone the landscape was blindingly brilliant as if billions of diamonds had been glued to everything the eye could see.

Outside is a winter-white wonderland replete with dazzling trees, wires, and sidewalks seemingly wrapped in glittery silver foil. It’s quite lovely to look at, which is about all I can do since I’m stuck indoors. Icicle-laden tree branches are bent and hunch-backed by the frozen heaviness of their popsicle-like burden, and the voices squawking from the battery-operated transistor radio I am listening to are warning people not to go out since walkways and roads are extremely slippery, and there is real danger from falling trees.

The necessity of speaking up when you “have a hunch” applies even more when it comes to shidduchim. One little girl did just that – she said something – and I was fortunate enough to be in town for the very joyful, lively wedding that resulted from her speaking up.

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