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On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer
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Posted on: March 29th, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Every Friday night at the Shabbat table, Jewish men display their hakarat hatov for their particular "woman of valor", by singing an ode to her that describes in great detail her many meritorious attributes and activities.

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Posted on: March 15th, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

When people hear the term "lashon hara", they automatically associate it with gossip. Speaking about someone behind their back to others, usually in a manner that is denigrating and unflattering, often describing alleged activities or doings that put the subject of the discussion in a rather negative light. This is the ultimate interpretation of lashon hara.

Kupfer-030212
 

Posted on: March 1st, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Purim is just a few days away, and Jews young and old are gearing up to celebrate this most festive of holidays, during which all will eat, drink and nosh merrily and in great relief over our come-up-from-behind triumph against a vicious Jew hater whose goal was to annihilate the Jewish people, but who instead had the tables turned against him in a dramatic and unforeseen manner. Sadly, bullying is alive and well in the 21st century afflicting all societies and the individuals that comprise them. For those who think that our heimishe communities have been spared the scourge of bullying - it's time to get their head out of the cholent.

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Posted on: February 17th, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

If certain elements of the charedi community have issues with the way women dress, let them figure out a way to alleviate their obvious spiritual and mental distress in a way that does not encroach on other people’s rights. It's their problem - they need to resolve it, instead of demanding that a huge segment of society change their lives and the way they do things just to accommodate them.

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Posted on: February 2nd, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

A friend of mine recently came back from visiting her son and his family in Israel. As a bunch of her friends joined her for coffee and an update – several of them also have children who made aliyah - she shared with us her frustration at not being able to communicate with her school-age grandchildren.

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Posted on: January 23rd, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Every Friday evening, in Jewish homes across the world, the question is asked, "Eishet chayil mi yimtzah – The woman of valor, where can she be found?"

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Posted on: January 5th, 2012

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Charedi rabbinical leaders in Israel, and I imagine globally, are greatly perturbed, even horrified by the “chumrah” some Orthodox Israeli women have taken upon themselves – that of covering their bodies up in a manner similar to traditional Muslim women, who wear head to toe, shroud-like black burkas.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: December 22nd, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

As Jewish festivals go, Chanukah is one of our favorites – it is quite “user-friendly.” We get a rare green light to travel and cook with no restrictions. We can drive back and forth (no need for our hosts to find sleeping accommodations) and feast with family and friends as we gleefully celebrate the miracle of a rag-tag band of heroes beating the odds. We rejoice over the improbable reality that a few overcame the many; of a bit of burning oil lasting way beyond its “shelf-life.”

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Posted on: December 8th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

In my previous column I mentioned that a matchmaking initiative called the NASI Project was generating an avalanche of discussions, debates and disagreements regarding its value in effectively dealing with what is referred to in Orthodox communities as the shidduch crisis.

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Posted on: November 24th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

A new shidduch initiative has created an ear-deafening buzz in frum communities across North America and beyond.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: November 12th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Dear Readers, Over the long stretch of Yom Tov, I spent a lot of time in the park (in three different states) while enjoying the antics - some of them hair-raising - of my grandchildren as they swung, slid, jumped and hid. As you can imagine, the park was full of heimishe men, women and children, happy for the opportunity, after three days of being indoors at shul and at the dining room table, to work off excess calories (the adults) and excess energy (the kids).

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: October 26th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

We have just completed three sets of three-day Yom Tov/Shabbat combinations, and now with some sadness (tempered with a dollop of relief) we return to "normalcy" and our daily routines.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: October 16th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

During Yom Tov, the great majority of Jews are surrounded by family, friends and neighbors. Whether in shul or at the table, we share the holiness and festivities that define our holidays with the ones we love and are connected to. The hours fly as we daven, and later feast on a succulent variety of fish and meat dishes, kugels, salads and desserts. The day is full of warmth, color and noise as adult banter mingles with children's chatter.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: September 28th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Dear Readers, From time to time, members of The Jewish Press community take the time and trouble to write or e-mail me sharing their feelings regarding something I wrote. Most of the comments are supportive and encouraging - and some are not. Either way, I appreciate all reader input, negative or positive, as it lets me know that my thoughts and observations are having an impact.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: September 14th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

In my previous column, I noted that the typical response to a tragedy in the heimishe community is a call forteshuvah. Almost always, the two "culprits" singled out for the cause of our misfortunes and in most need of repair are shmiras halashon and a lack of tznuit. I stated my belief that these are just two of the many components of a more insidious behavior that is pandemic in our community - that being the wanton, often deliberate action of misleading and fooling people into doing things that ultimately are detrimental and even ruinous to them.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: August 31st, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

It seems that whenever there is a tragedy in the heimishe olam, almost always the horrific, premature loss of life due to a car crash, a drowning, a freak accident or mindless violence/terrorism, it immediately is followed by a chorus of anguished voices screaming out the need to do teshuva.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: August 17th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Dear Readers: Everywhere you turn, it seems that people are beset with so many problems and worries; some are financial in nature, some revolve around social issues like shidduchim and marriage, some involve setbacks and losses, and the non-actualization of the vision we had of how the days of our lives would play out.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: August 3rd, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Dear Readers, Charity should not just be about putting money in a pushkaor writing a check. I strongly feel that taking the initiative and offering positive and comforting words, which will in some measure alleviatie another person's pain or burden, should count as tzedakahas well. As we approach Tisha B'Av, followed by Shabbat Nachamu, we should take the lesson of the collective need for ahavat Yisrael that we are so painfully aware of.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: July 20th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

She gets out of the taxi at her little sister's place, As she approaches the front door she slows down her pace. She takes a deep breath and forces a smile on her face, Though sadness and anxiety make her heart race.

Kupfer-Cheryl
 

Posted on: July 8th, 2011

SectionsMagazineOn Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Several weeks ago, a young husband and father wrote a letter to Dr. Yael Respler, columnist for The Jewish Press and a psychotherapist, asking for advice on how to stop smoking. He mentioned that his father, a heavy smoker had died of lung cancer. The young man wrote that he loved his wife and children and hoped he'd be zoche to have a long life with them. His problem, "I am also a chain smoker since my time in yeshiva as a bochur."

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