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Posted on: November 25th, 2009Sections → Magazine → On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer
Rosh Chodesh Kislev marks the 10th yahrzeit of my father, Chaim ben Aaron-Yosef Hakohen. Lately, whenever I think of him, the image that pops into my mind is of him sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of "grishek." I think we would call it porridge - although that term seems to be outdated these days.
Posted on: November 11th, 2009Sections → Magazine → On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer
I have been to many singles get-togethers over the years, and have noticed an unfortunate tendency by both men and women to give members of the opposite gender a quick glance over. Each is then given the label of being a "loser," "winner" (one worth making the effort to meet), and those who are "OK, but not really my type; so why waste my time and energy?"
Posted on: October 28th, 2009Sections → Magazine → On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer
I know that just the title of this article is going to cause an uproar in some circles, and I know that some people might be aghast at how I can even ask that question. To some it is obviously halachically unacceptable to postpone starting a family. After all, the Jewish people are exhorted to pru urevu - to be fruitful and multiply. So, let me say at the onset, this is something every engaged couple should discuss with their rav. Getting a heter - even for a few months- just might be a lifesaver.
Posted on: October 14th, 2009Sections → Magazine
A few years ago I wrote in this column that at the bris of my oldest son - held in a shul whose members were for the most part elderly - a wizened old man approached me, peered into my face and muttered in a raspy voice with a Yiddish accent, "May your children sit shiva for you." I was too stunned to say anything to him and just shook my head as he walked away. I thought, "nebach, he must be demented."
Posted on: September 23rd, 2009Sections → Magazine
In my previous column, I wrote that helping to foster a positive self-image in one's children is the greatest gift parents can give them. Similarly, self-like (not to be confused with narcissistic self-worship) is a key component in having a successful life.
Posted on: September 9th, 2009Sections → Magazine
The new school year is starting and parents across the board are busy getting their children ready for school. New clothing, books and study aids like calculators have been bought and bus service and car pools organized. As the year progresses parents will do whatever it takes to help ensure their offspring do well in their Limudei Kodesh and secular studies, including helping with homework or even enlisting a tutor.
Posted on: August 26th, 2009Sections → Magazine
Last time I wrote about the misguided attitude toward sports and exercise that seemingly permeates many frum circles. Some askanim view physical activity as unnecessary, needlessly diverting precious time from Torah study.
Posted on: August 12th, 2009Sections → Magazine
A recent article that appeared on the haredi website, yeshivaworld.com, described how askanim in Israel had approached HaRav Aryeh Yehuda Leib Shteinman, shlita, armed with a kol korei against vacations during bein hazmanim. Their goal was to get his haskamah in their mission to stop bachurim from doing what they felt was an inappropriate and wasteful use of time - hiking, swimming, nature walking, sightseeing, etc. (generally vacationing from their studies).
Posted on: July 29th, 2009Sections → Magazine
Maybe because Tisha B'av was on our minds, as were recent dismaying events both in Israel and closer to home, but what had started as a relaxed, light-hearted lunch with friends took a dark turn when someone mentioned a recent tragedy involving a young child. Another friend shared an equally horrible story. We acknowledged that lately we all had heard of so many "umglicks" - horrific events afflicting members of the community.
Posted on: July 8th, 2009Sections → Magazine
The other day, while schmoozing with a friend, the conversation (as chats often do) turned to food. My friend talked about a delicious dish she had eaten as a guest during Shavuot. She mentioned how she planned to replicate it in her kitchen, but hadn't gotten around to it yet.
Posted on: June 24th, 2009Sections → Magazine
Like most people on this planet whose abodes are wired to electricity, I have a computer and go online. It is amazing to me that information on any subject or on any matter can be instantly retrieved with a few clicks of a mouse.
Posted on: June 10th, 2009Sections → Magazine
Human nature is such that we tend to procrastinate the attainment of important milestones and goals, such as an education or a shidduch. This is so because we delude ourselves into thinking that we have all the time in the world.
Posted on: May 27th, 2009Sections → Magazine
I wait at the airport for the arrival of my youngest son, along with his wife and baby. Upon arrival, they will rent a car and make their way in an unfamiliar city to his oldest brother's house.
Posted on: May 6th, 2009Sections → Magazine
My mother's recent yahrzeit after Pesach, coupled with Yom HaZikaron and recent Yom Tovim and Shabbatot spent with my children and grandchildren, has cemented my belief that I was robbed of a major life asset - my grandparents. While I knew that having them was a life-enhancing relationship, I didn't truly comprehend it until I became one.
Posted on: April 22nd, 2009Sections → Magazine
Over the years, I have been to many, many theatrical productions, most in Toronto, some in Israel and of course, in New York - on Broadway, off-Broadway, and even off-off Broadway. At times I have been entertained, amused, moved, and educated by what I have seen ( and on the negative side, sometimes bored or disgusted or angered) but I don't think that I have ever been imbued with a much needed sense of hope.
Posted on: March 18th, 2009Sections → Magazine
I know Purim is over, but Megillat Esther is so rich with lessons on how people should live their lives - along with the consequences of not doing so - that I wish to share one of the many wisdoms that I have gleaned from reading it. I believe that the world wouldn't be in the mess it is in - economically, socially and spiritually - if people would only open their eyes to the megillah's masterful insights on how to behave.
Posted on: March 4th, 2009Sections → Magazine
In many countries around the world it is required by law to put warning labels on products, activities or places that can cause injury or death. Thus the labels of many medications and foods or items, such as cigarettes and alcoholic beverages, contain strong warnings on them saying that they are harmful. Likewise beaches that are unsafe to swim in due to a strong current, lack of a lifeguard, or high bacterial count also have signs posted cautioning people not to go swimming. Hospital rooms that contain radioactive products have signs warning about entering.
Posted on: February 11th, 2009Sections → Magazine
I wrote a version of the poem below many years ago, before the term "shidduch crisis" came into vogue.
Posted on: January 28th, 2009Sections → Magazine
In my case, the answer to the above question is, "Yes, too much pressure (in my case blood pressure) led me to indulge in not so smart (actually stupid) "avoidance" behavior.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/why-mewhy-not-me/2012/09/13/
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