web analytics
July 1, 2015 / 14 Tammuz, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Purim: When NO Means NO!

Kupfer-021513-No

And it is not just on Purim that men, women and children face pressure to do what goes against their grain. It can be in many facets of everyday life, where individuals are intimidated – often due to misguided good intentions, to take a path they do not want to take.

Young people in the shidduch parsha for example, are repeatedly compelled to date a type of boy or girl who is not what they want, but rather what their parents want.

A young man may want to go to college or a trade school but his parents/rabbeim insist he be a long time learner. I am not saying that parents and mentors should not offer guidance or give advice – young people often are naive or have their heads in the clouds when it comes to what they think they want – but incessant nagging and pressuring is counterproductive when dealing with an individual who has proven him/herself to be a mature, responsible person.

And if he or she has expressed the desire to go in a direction that seems right, and if he or she would be miserable on another path, then respect that wish. And if down the road he or she realizes that a mistake was made – well, mistakes are great teachers. It is one thing to pay the price of your own mistake – it is a whole other level to suffer from a mistake that was imposed on you.

So, for example, if a young man has a brain injury from passing out or crashing on Purim because he chose to drink too much, that is very tragic – but if he was pressured into drinking and he suffers a debilitating injury, that is unforgivable.

Young people – as well as the not so young – can be bulldozed into behaviors or activities they don’t want – especially if it is a “trusted” adult or mentor or close friend insisting they do. The consequences can destroy them.

Mordechai said no. It’s a lesson we all should internalize and make our own.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Purim: When NO Means NO!”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
U.S. President Barack Obama
Obama Won’t Enforce Anti-BDS Provision Language in Trade Bill he just Signed
Latest Sections Stories

Anna Henriques, who hopes to one day head back to Jamaica, says, “Rabbi Raskin must be willing to respect what exists in Jamaica. The way to the future is to gently bring in the traditions of the past and at the same time embrace the idiosyncrasies of the Jamaican people.”

Food-Talk---Eller-logo

The Silver Platter has it all: gorgeous photography, oodles of useful tips and, more importantly, incredible recipes that you will find yourself making again and again.

Emmer-052915-History

It may be that seeking to connect with the past is rooted in the impermanence and impersonality of modern life.

It is very hard to build a healthy marriage when you do not have good role models.

My best book is one that hasn’t been published yet.

We tend to justify and idealize this division with pride attributing these tendencies as demonstrating a higher level of kedushah.

Everyone in the kehilla can get involved, she added, and mothers can network with each other.

On her first ever trip to Israel last week, popular radio talk-show personality and clinical psychologist Dr. Joy Browne, whose spirited broadcasts regularly attract millions of listeners across North America, paid a visit to OneFamily headquarters in Jerusalem in order to learn more about the physical and emotional challenges faced by victims of terror in […]

With the famous Touro Synagogue, a variety of mansions, each with its own distinct personality, as well as the beautiful coast, Rhode Island makes for an excellent vacation spot.

To avoid all this waste and unnecessary anxiety, let’s break the task down step by step and tackle each one at a time.

While there are those who insist they need full-color photos to be truly entranced by a recipe, I suggest you get over that particular requirement because the written word here will draw you in and cause you to salivate as you peruse the recipes scattered throughout The Well-Spiced Life (Israel Book Shop).

For those who couldn’t go off base, a personal parcel was priceless in its ability to convey a feeling of home.

With the danger of being discovered always a possibility, the partisans not only moved around in the forest, but also eliminated any collaborators.

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-060515-Supermen

There are fathers who bravely step up to the plate and fill in the maternal vacuum with their love and devotion.

Kupfer-On-Our-Own-NEW

The message being conveyed is that without “flour,” without the means to support oneself and one’s family, one’s focus on Torah will be impeded by worry.

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Not knowing any better, I assumed that Molly and her mother must be voracious readers.

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/purim-when-no-means-no/2013/02/14/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: