web analytics
February 27, 2015 / 8 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


The Rodfim In Our Midst – Get Withholding Husbands


Kupfer-080213

A friend of mine, a young mother, related that her oldest child, now three, was starting pre-school in a few weeks. Her voice, full of pride, quickly took on a tone of annoyance as she described the “welcome package” she had received as a new parent. Amid the rules and regulations concerning drop off and pick up was a dress code for mothers/female caregivers who brought and took home the children. One of the “requirements” was wearing closed–toed shoes. Sandals were not allowed.

What would they have told Sarah or Rachel, she ruefully commented, had their kids gone to this school – one of many with similar rules of tznius. No doubt their toes stuck out from under their robes!

But what really raised her ire, she told me, was what she felt was the “powers to be” misplaced sense of priority. A close childhood friend of hers was an agunah of several years, and her only child was a student in the school. “Instead of focusing on our toes,” she fumed, “why don’t the keepers of the school’s sanctity – so concerned with the continuity of unsullied Yiddishkeit – use their collective, halachic expertise to persuade my friend’s husband to give her a get. Her son wants a sibling, just like his classmates have. As for my friend, she deserves to have a life.”

Why not indeed!

As I flip through The Jewish Press and come across the seruv column that lists the names of men who have thumbed their noses at the rulings of batei din, my blood pressure goes up and I get angry and distressed. Some of these women have been agunot for years. They are trapped in a bizarre world where they are not single but are not married in the real sense of the word.

I truly believe that gedolai hador should declare a husband who, after a designated number of years have passed, still stubbornly refuses to give his “spouse” a get and the freedom to get on with her life, a rodef. A rodef is someone who is viewed as a future murderer out to kill you and hence you are allowed to take the initiative and kill him first.

While secular law would clearly forbid such a person from being physically taken out (it would be viewed as murder), just the fear that he could halachically be viewed as a target could instill enough fear in him to get him to reconsider. Of course the community could “kill” him socially – not allowing him to enter a shul, kollel, or places of public gatherings, like a simcha, and those members of his family or close friends seen talking to him or opening their door to him would be ostracized as well. Their communal isolation would be the price they pay for associating with a rodef.

We are a people who believe that a single life saved is the equivalent of saving a whole world. It goes without saying that every life created can be viewed as a new world. Decades ago, those couples who after years of frustrating and heartbreaking infertility were fortunate to have had a child or two – and who now enjoy grandchildren and even great grandchildren – understand all too well the concept of creating worlds.

When an agunah in her childbearing years is prevented from halachically remarrying and having more children, then one can view the man who prevents new life as destroying entire worlds. If a destroyer of worlds does not qualify as a rodef who would?

We all know divorced women who went on to marry a second time and have more children. Had these women been agunot, these children would not be born.

Seems to me that a husband who does not give his wife a religious divorce is doing Hitler’s work for him – decimating the Jewish people. Our enemies would like to see us disappear and become extinct: As it is so many young Jews assimilate and eventually their descendants are swallowed into the general population with no awareness of their heritage. It is frum Jews with feet planted firmly on the derech who are being prevented from building new batei ne’eman b’yisrael – and launching new links on the holy chain that was created at the base of Har Sinai.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Rodfim In Our Midst – Get Withholding Husbands”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
John Kerry up in the air and out of this world.
Kerry to Talk with Iran at Same Time Netanyahu to Warn Congress
Latest Sections Stories
South-Florida-logo

Jews, wake up! Stop educating the world and start educating yourselves.

Hebrew Academy students learn the ABC’s of safety during Hebrew Academy’s recent Safety Kid Program.

The lessons conform to the sensitivities and needs of the Orthodox community…

Women learn in honor of first yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chasia Kudan, a”h.

The program took on special significance as it marked not only the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Kudan’s levayah but also the 27th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, a”h.

It captures the love of the Jewish soul as only Shlomo Hamelech could portray it – and as only Rabbi Miller could explain it.

Erudite and academic, drawing from ancient and modern sources, the book can be discussed at the Shabbos table as well as in kollel.

I’m here to sit next to you and help you through this Purim with three almost-too-easy mishloach manot ideas, all made with cost-conscious paper bags.

Kids want to be like their friends, and they want to give and get “normal” mishloach manos stocked with store-bought treats.

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

“OMG, it’s so cute, you’re so cute, everything is so cute.”

A program that started with a handful of volunteers has grown exponentially to include students from a wider array of backgrounds.

Tutor. Counselor. The doctor too,
Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with you.

Recently, due to age and wear, programming and NCSY events were moved into portable units outside the youth building.

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-112114

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Kupfer-092614-Books

Not knowing any better, I assumed that Molly and her mother must be voracious readers.

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Where once divorce in heimische communities was relatively uncommon, nowadays every family has a son, daughter, sibling cousin who is divorced – sometimes twice or even three times!

Many go about the business of living frum, observant lives, but they are only going through the motions.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/the-rodfim-in-our-midst-get-withholding-husbands/2013/08/01/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: