web analytics
September 17, 2014 / 22 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Apartment 758x530 Africa-Israel at the Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York

Africa Israel Residences, part of the Africa Israel Investments Group led by international businessman Lev Leviev, will present 7 leading projects on the The Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York on Sep 14-15, 2014.



Where Have All the Earners Gone – Long Time Passing?


Kupfer-050914

Over Yom Tov, I was privy to a number of discussions that took place at meals, in shul and at the park both in Canada and the United States, where I spent the chag. Despite the geographical disparity, there was one topic that across the board was on the minds of the various young couples – mostly in their late 20’s and early 30’s – as well as their parents whom I had spoken to: the crushing cost of Jewish school tuition, more so than affordable housing.

Typical was the lament of one elegantly dressed young mother who shared that overnight camp was out of the question for her older two kids this year because her third was entering kindergarten. Since her son had “graduated” pre-school, his tuition had now doubled, and her fourth was going to go to pre-nursery.

All in all, this family would be paying over $35,000 for their kids to go to school. Instead of camp, they would take a vacation they could drive to and go to a hotel with a pool for a couple of weeks.

I was kind of taken aback that this family had to “budget” because by any standards they are “well off.”   But her need to cut corners was echoed by her friends, who like her would be viewed as “upper middle class.”   In this particular group, one or both of the parents were in professions that pay quite well – financial advisers, attorneys, accountants, doctors, etc. They were in agreement of the need to “sacrifice” in order to be able to pay tuition which they viewed as a non-negotiable priority.

Some of these couples were out of town guests who lived in various communities and yet, despite their geographical disparity, all were faced with the same issue.

The yearly shelling out of a minimum of $30,000 of one’s net income – which can be the equivalent of $45,000 pre-tax dollars – when you have a mortgage or rent, car payments, and living and work-related expenses can be a challenge even for those earning high wages. And this is for only two or three kids.

Why tuition has skyrocketed is not the point of this article – the reality is that sending several children to yeshiva/day school is a very expensive proposition. What has me greatly perplexed and shaking my head in dismayed disbelief is the mindset that still exists in many communities that young husbands should learn for years, as opposed to one or two, and delay long term their ability to earn a viable income.

If “high” income earners have to be cautious of how they spend their money so they can pay for the necessities of establishing a frum household, the biggest expense of which is arguably paying tuition for several children, and if two “medium” income earners struggle to pay their bills even with a tuition break – chalav Yisrael cheese and pre-checked bags of salad is more expensive than non-chalav Yisrael and unchecked salad – how much more so is it going to be a burden on a one-earner household. With rent, tuition and household expenses, how can a sole-earner not be stressed out and overwhelmed and stretched to her physical, emotional and financial limit?

While it is a given that one of the conditions of a boy going out with a girl in the first place is that her parents agree to provide long-term support – without that guarantee there is no first date which is why so many good girls from middle class homes are being “passed over” and   languishing at home still single – nonetheless, their contribution may not be enough to supplement her wages.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Where Have All the Earners Gone – Long Time Passing?”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
PLO / PA / Fatah leader Mahmoud Abbas.
PA Unity Government Not Unified
Latest Sections Stories
Ganz-091214-Fifty

Today, fifty years and six million (!) people later, Israel is truly a different world.

Goldberg-091214

There will always be items that don’t freeze well – salads and some rice- or potato-based dishes – so you need to leave time to prepare or cook them closer to Yom Tov and ensure there is enough room in the refrigerator to store them.

Women's under-trousers, Uzbekistan, early 20th century

In Uzbekistan, in the early twentieth century, it was the women who wore the pants.

This is an important one in raising a mentsch (and maybe even in marrying off a mentsch! listening skills are on the top of the list when I do shidduch coaching).

While multitasking is not ideal, it is often necessary and unavoidable.

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

The interpreter was expected to be a talmid chacham himself and be able to also offer explanations and clarifications to the students.

“When Frank does something he does it well and you don’t have to worry about dotting the i’s or crossing the t’s.”

“On Sunday I was at the Kotel with the battalion and we said a prayer of thanks. In Gaza there were so many moments of death that I had to thank God that I’m alive. Only then did I realize how frightening it had been there.”

Neglect, indifference or criticism can break a person’s neshama.

It’s fair to say that we all know or have someone in our family who is divorced.

The assumption of a shared kinship is based on being part of the human race. Life is so much easier to figure out when everyone thinks the same way.

Various other learning opportunities will be offered to the community throughout the year.

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-080114

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

Kupfer-071814

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Where once divorce in heimische communities was relatively uncommon, nowadays every family has a son, daughter, sibling cousin who is divorced – sometimes twice or even three times!

Many go about the business of living frum, observant lives, but they are only going through the motions.

Lately I have been hearing quiet grumblings from people who admit that they regret not encouraging their sons to get a post-high school education after a year or two of learning.

While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/on-our-own/where-have-all-the-earners-gone-long-time-passing/2014/05/09/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: