Indifference: The New Work Ethic

Posted on: January 20th, 2010

Consumers beware: Shopping, gift-giving, vacationing, even making money may be hazardous to your health. Indulging in what should be routine activities can - due to a seeming epidemic of "who cares?" - induce extreme frustration, stress and anxiety, causing your blood pressure readings to be more like those of a thermometer just pulled out of a feverish child. Way too high.

For the Shloshim of Yaakov Tovia ben Boruch Altman and Second Yahrzeit of Sara bas Bentzion (Harnik)

Posted on: January 15th, 2010

Dear G-d,   As a mourning Yesoma sadly left behind I’ve been turning things over and over in my mind And have resolved to speak directly to You, my Creator For who better to understand us – there is none greater   It’s You who can comfort us and wipe away our tears It is [...]

Back To School: Administrators Return To The Classroom To Learn Management Skills

Posted on: January 13th, 2010

Educational degrees in both teaching and administration abound. But when it comes to managing schools, few universities offer courses devoted to helping school principals and other administrators learn the management skills necessary to successfully run a school - specifically, a Jewish school.

Matchmaking – Not A Piece Of Cake

Posted on: January 6th, 2010

As I eyed the delicious, calorie-rich dessert buffet at a singles event I recently attended, I surveyed the crowd surging around me, and contemplated what, in the scheme of things was harder to do - lose weight or set people up. Both are very challenging, require a lot of "will" power - combined with tons of resolve, patience - and most importantly, "pep" talking.

The Early Jewish Settlement Of Newport

Posted on: December 30th, 2009

In 1636 Roger Williams, after having been banished from the Massachusetts Bay Colony for what were considered radical religious views, settled at the tip of Narragansett Bay. He was joined by twelve other settlers at what he named Providence Plantation, due to his belief that God had sustained him and his followers.

No Retirement In Sight For The ZOA

Posted on: December 23rd, 2009

ZOA -The Zionist Organization of America hosted its 112th Annual Gala Dinner in New York City last week, and since I happened to be in the "neighborhood," visiting the tri-State area for an upcoming simcha - I decided to attend.

Success Is In The Trying

Posted on: December 9th, 2009

With Chanukah - the Festival of Lights quickly approaching, Jews the world over are busy planning get-togethers, preparing or buying latkes and donuts, shopping for gifts for children and adults alike and generally looking forward to having fun and a much welcome break from the daily grind of life.

Compensatory Strategies

Posted on: December 2nd, 2009

When one is blind one learns to use Braille to read. When one cannot walk, a wheelchair gives mobility. Sign language allows a mute person to speak and ocular implants assist in hearing when one is deaf. These are all compensatory strategies that help a person function despite his disability. But compensatory strategies are not just for physical problems. Understanding our psychological weaknesses and setting up our lives to ensure that we are not tempted to repeat our past mistakes, is as necessary as any aid to the disabled.

Abraham Rice: The First Rabbi In America (Part II)

Posted on: December 2nd, 2009

Last month we discussed how Rabbi Abraham Joseph Rice came to America in 1840 and became the rav of the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation (Congregation Nidchei Yisroel). Rav Rice was the first ordained Orthodox rabbi to settle in North America.

Appreciating ‘Greshik’

Posted on: November 25th, 2009

Rosh Chodesh Kislev marks the 10th yahrzeit of my father, Chaim ben Aaron-Yosef Hakohen. Lately, whenever I think of him, the image that pops into my mind is of him sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of "grishek." I think we would call it porridge - although that term seems to be outdated these days.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Posted on: November 25th, 2009

Well spouses have often discovered that their friends and relatives, despite their closeness to the situation, often don't realize the tremendous emotional impact living with chronic illness has on the family. With the best intentions, suggestions, ideas and criticism are offered, based on the non-experience of those with healthy families. Even when the good intentioned get a taste of the difficulties, it is sometimes not enough for them to then identify and understand what the family of the chronically ill must face on a constant basis.

Coping With The Loss Of Hope

Posted on: November 18th, 2009

Over the past two weeks I have shared letters from a therapist and a well spouse. Both of the letters gave personal insights into the process of losing hope, how we react when that happens and some ways of coping when test scores, diagnosis and just simple repetitive behavior indicate that change for the better is impossible.

Looking For The ‘Finished’ Product?

Posted on: November 11th, 2009

I have been to many singles get-togethers over the years, and have noticed an unfortunate tendency by both men and women to give members of the opposite gender a quick glance over. Each is then given the label of being a "loser," "winner" (one worth making the effort to meet), and those who are "OK, but not really my type; so why waste my time and energy?"

Neuropsychological Testing: A Therapist Responds

Posted on: November 11th, 2009

Dear Ann, I've read your last few articles on psycho-neurological testing (Oct.8-22) with interest. As a therapist who has counseled couples dealing with chronic illness, I'd like to give you another perspective.

Comments on Neuro-Psychological Testing

Posted on: November 4th, 2009

Dear Ann, Your articles on the Neuro-Psychological Testing were right on (October 8-22). My husband underwent testing twice and your articles explained it things exactly the way they were. Besides the test, we also tried therapy.

Abraham Rice: First Rabbi In America (Part I)

Posted on: November 4th, 2009

The first Jews arrived in North America in 1654. What is not so well known is that the first qualified rabbi to settle here, Rabbi Abraham Rice, did not arrive until 1840. One might refer to the first 186 years of American Jewish history as the "Reverend and Cantorial Age," since such men, as well as some laymen who possessed better than average Jewish educations, served as the leaders of the various Jewish communities during that period.

Should Newlyweds Hold Off Having Children?

Posted on: October 28th, 2009

I know that just the title of this article is going to cause an uproar in some circles, and I know that some people might be aghast at how I can even ask that question. To some it is obviously halachically unacceptable to postpone starting a family. After all, the Jewish people are exhorted to pru urevu - to be fruitful and multiply. So, let me say at the onset, this is something every engaged couple should discuss with their rav. Getting a heter - even for a few months- just might be a lifesaver.

Sweating the Small Stuff

Posted on: October 28th, 2009

Very often when we can't face our big hurts or big loses we focus on the little ones. We can discuss those. We can cry over the small loses, be angry at the smaller hurts even though it may look trite and sound ridiculous to others.

Psycho Neurological Testing And Counseling

Posted on: October 21st, 2009

Over the last two weeks we have been discussing one way in which well spouses can determine whether behavior displayed by their ill partners is caused by their illness or is a way they have chosen to act. We have focused on Psycho-Neurological testing, what it can tell us, as well as its pros and cons.

‘Playing’ It Safe For Your Children

Posted on: October 14th, 2009

A few years ago I wrote in this column that at the bris of my oldest son - held in a shul whose members were for the most part elderly - a wizened old man approached me, peered into my face and muttered in a raspy voice with a Yiddish accent, "May your children sit shiva for you." I was too stunned to say anything to him and just shook my head as he walked away. I thought, "nebach, he must be demented."