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April 17, 2014 / 17 Nisan, 5774
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Psycho Neurological Testing And Counseling

Posted on: October 21st, 2009

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Over the last two weeks we have been discussing one way in which well spouses can determine whether behavior displayed by their ill partners is caused by their illness or is a way they have chosen to act. We have focused on Psycho-Neurological testing, what it can tell us, as well as its pros and cons.

 

‘Playing’ It Safe For Your Children

Posted on: October 14th, 2009

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A few years ago I wrote in this column that at the bris of my oldest son - held in a shul whose members were for the most part elderly - a wizened old man approached me, peered into my face and muttered in a raspy voice with a Yiddish accent, "May your children sit shiva for you." I was too stunned to say anything to him and just shook my head as he walked away. I thought, "nebach, he must be demented."

 

Psycho-Nerological Testing: What to do With the Results

Posted on: October 14th, 2009

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Last week I discussed a question that haunts many well spouses: not knowing if the difficult and often inappropriate behavior frequently displayed by their partners are caused by the disease and therefore not-controllable, or if the behavior is a choice the spouse makes and can therefore be changed. This doubt can be the source of much frustration and many marital disagreements. One way of alleviating this doubt is by having a psycho- neurological work up done. But that path is not so simple.

 

Psycho-Neurological Testing

Posted on: October 7th, 2009

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Many well spouses have written to say that their partners' behaviors has changed drastically, making life very difficult for the entire family. "What in my spouse's behavior is choice and what is a result of the illness and beyond my partner's control?" It is a question that tortures many spouses of the chronically ill.

 

Thoughts of Suicide

Posted on: September 30th, 2009

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In the past, when I would interview members of well-spouse support groups the topic of suicide was one that was never discussed. However, I always felt it was in the air, just hovering above the group and something very often hinted at in our discussions. Talk of self-neglect, of deliberately doing things detrimental to one's health and avoiding things that were healthy, would come up repeatedly.

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Mordecai Sheftall – Revolutionary War Patriot

Posted on: September 30th, 2009

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In Savannah, Georgia, there is a memorial to the American Revolution called Battlefield Memorial Park. One of the markers there is for Colonel Mordecai Sheftall.

 

A Recipe for Failure

Posted on: September 23rd, 2009

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Last week I wrote about how, through keeping a gratitude journal, we can program ourselves to experience more happiness in our lives. However, just as we can program ourselves to be happier, we can be programmed to be miserable and think less of ourselves. This can happen when someone we trust and respect tells us we cannot accomplish what we have set out to do. When our mentors or role models tell us that we do not have the intelligence or creativity to succeed, we begin to see ourselves as inferior. We begin to think less of ourselves, surround ourselves with a sense of failure and accomplish less because we feel incapable. After all, people rise to the height of their own expectations.

 

The Value Of Self-Worth

Posted on: September 23rd, 2009

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In my previous column, I wrote that helping to foster a positive self-image in one's children is the greatest gift parents can give them. Similarly, self-like (not to be confused with narcissistic self-worship) is a key component in having a successful life.

 

Happiness Is A Gratitude Journal

Posted on: September 16th, 2009

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You're cooking or cleaning and the radio is on in the background to keep you company. You really are not listening and have no idea what's being said, but suddenly "Israel" is mentioned and you rush over, turn up the volume and listen. How does that happen? What made you hear that word? What made you pay attention, while you had ignored the thousands of other words that might have been said in the minutes before? More importantly, how can we get that to work for us and make us happier?

 

A Response To Dr. G. (Part III)

Posted on: September 9th, 2009

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For the last several weeks I have been sharing with you the perspectives of a doctor whose point of view made me revisit the reality of the caregiver's role. I want to thank this doctor for his candor and perspective. I believe what he wrote will help us all be more efficient in our care giving as we become more aware of the perspective and boundaries from his side of the stethoscope.

 

If You Belittle Your Kids They Will Be Little

Posted on: September 9th, 2009

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The new school year is starting and parents across the board are busy getting their children ready for school. New clothing, books and study aids like calculators have been bought and bus service and car pools organized. As the year progresses parents will do whatever it takes to help ensure their offspring do well in their Limudei Kodesh and secular studies, including helping with homework or even enlisting a tutor.

 

Commemorating The Start Of World War II

Posted on: September 9th, 2009

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The official beginning of World War II was September 1, 1939. On that day German soldiers invaded Gdansk after bombarding the city with a military warship. As part of the Polish Government's official series of events marking seven decades since the start of World War II, Poland's Jewish community and the Jerusalem-based "Shavei Israel" organization held a special ceremony yesterday in the Gdansk synagogue to commemorate the outbreak of the war, which paved the way for the Holocaust.

 

Commemorating The Start Of World War II

Posted on: September 9th, 2009

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The official beginning of World War II was September 1, 1939. On that day German soldiers invaded Gdansk after bombarding the city with a military warship. As part of the Polish Government's official series of events marking seven decades since the start of World War II, Poland's Jewish community and the Jerusalem-based "Shavei Israel" organization held a special ceremony yesterday in the Gdansk synagogue to commemorate the outbreak of the war, which paved the way for the Holocaust.

 

A Response To Dr. G. (Part II)

Posted on: September 2nd, 2009

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In Part I, I responded to some of what Dr. G. had said about our role as caregivers. I reiterated that without legal documentation, you, as the spouse might have little input into the treatment plan for your partner. Whether by design or oversight, not being appointed the Health Proxy may totally cut you out of the care plan and even bar you from receiving treatment information. This week, I'd like to address what Dr. G. said about what being a caregiver requires of us.

 

Rabbi Simon Joshua Glazer (Part III)

Posted on: September 2nd, 2009

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In two earlier articles we traced the life and rabbinical career of Rabbi Simon Glazer until 1918. Rav Glazer was a rare individual in that he was a secularly educated European trained Orthodox Rov who spoke and wrote English fluently.

 

A Response To Dr. G (Part I)

Posted on: August 26th, 2009

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Last week's column featured a letter from a very dedicated doctor who disagreed with an article I had written on dealing with the system. It was very clear from his letter that Dr. G. cared a great deal about his patients and their care.

 

Beware The Predators

Posted on: August 26th, 2009

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Last time I wrote about the misguided attitude toward sports and exercise that seemingly permeates many frum circles. Some askanim view physical activity as unnecessary, needlessly diverting precious time from Torah study.

 

Seventy Years Since The German Invasion Of Poland

Posted on: August 26th, 2009

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September 1, 1939 is the date on which Germany invaded Poland, starting WWII. While it should be said that the start of the war was not the start of the Shoah, which actually began with the rise of Nazism in 1933, it was a major milestone in the annals of the Holocaust. Within the first few days of the war, Germany had conquered and/or bombed much of Poland, including the capital, Warsaw.

 

Seventy Years Since The German Invasion Of Poland

Posted on: August 26th, 2009

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September 1, 1939 is the date on which Germany invaded Poland, starting WWII. While it should be said that the start of the war was not the start of the Shoah, which actually began with the rise of Nazism in 1933, it was a major milestone in the annals of the Holocaust. Within the first few days of the war, Germany had conquered and/or bombed much of Poland, including the capital, Warsaw.

 

A Doctor’s Perspective

Posted on: August 19th, 2009

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Dear Ann, I have been re-reading one of your columns (Dealing with the System, December 19, 2008), and I think a number of the points you made need clarification, and others I feel are misleading.

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