web analytics
October 22, 2014 / 28 Tishri, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Could You Repeat The Question?


Schmutter-011813

Ignored, Flatbush, NY

Dear Ignored,

A lot of experts say that this is because kids want a feeling of control. If they don’t get to decide what to do, they feel helpless. So experts say that you should present them with options that are acceptable to you. For example, you can ask them, “chicken or vegetarian?”

But you actually know the answer to your question: Kids like repetition. They find it soothing. That’s why you have to read them the same bedtime story every night, as if one day the characters will decide to do something they didn’t do the first 500 times. And that’s why your kids keep asking you to throw them in the air again and again even though your arms are clearly falling off. And that’s why you have to play the same songs over and over in the car until you want to jump out the driver’s side door. Kids like repetition. (I said that again, for the kids.)

And this is also why, when I get my kids a new DVD, they say they’d rather watch the old one again. There’s nothing they’d rather get for Chanukah than another copy of the same DVD they already have.

Kids have to know what’s coming. It gives them the illusion of control, to be able to predict what’s going to happen next. You have to realize that in general, kids can’t predict anything, because they pretty much just got here. That’s why whenever you’re driving on the highway, they’re always totally shocked when they see cows. Everything in the world is a surprise to them.

And that’s why when you tell them to do something, you have to say it more than once. It soothes them. They’re always like, “What’s Mommy going to tell me to do next? Get in pajamas? What an unprecedented turn of events! She never tells me to get in pajamas after supper on a school night!” That frightens them. But when you ask them to do something and they don’t listen, they know that the very next words out of your mouth are going to be exactly the same words you just said. That’s how they predict the future.

The typical parent question is, “How many times do I have to tell you?”

The answer that your kid doesn’t say is, “As many times as you’re willing to. The more the better.”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to color on the walls? Now go get some tofu and clean it off.”

Of course, some parents try to beat this system. They say, “This is the last time I’m going to tell you.” But the kids always call their bluff. They think, “I bet if I still don’t do it, you’re going to tell me again.”

So their goal is not to do what you say until right before there’s a punishment. And they can always see the punishment coming, because you precede it with, “1…2…3…”

That’s predictability.

Have a complaint for “You’re Asking Me?” You might have to repeat yourself.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Could You Repeat The Question?”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Israel's Deputy Ambassador to the United Nations David Roet, at a UNSC meeting held July 22, 2014 regarding the Palestinian Arab-Israeli conflict.
Israel Attempts to Insert Reason into UN Debate About Middle East
Latest Sections Stories

Sadly, there are mothers who, due to severe depression are unable or unwilling to prepare nourishing food for their children.

Michal had never been away from home. And now, she was going so far away, for so long – an entire year!

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Social disabilities occur at many levels, but experts identify three different areas of learning and behavior that are most common for children who struggle to create lasting social connections.

Sukkot is an eternal time of joy, and if we are worthy, of plenty.

Two of our brothers, Jonathan Pollard and Alan Gross, sit in the pit of captivity. We have a mandate to see that they are freed.

Chabad of South Broward has 15 Chabad Houses in ten cities.

Victor Center works in partnership with healthcare professionals, clergy, and the community to sponsor education programs and college campus out reach.

So just in case you’re stuck in the house this Chol HaMoed – because there’s a new baby or because someone has a cold – not because of anything worse, here are six ideas for family fun at home.

We are told that someone who says that God’s mercy extends to a bird’s nest should be silenced.

Our harps have 22 strings. This gives musicians a wide musical range and yet stays within Biblical parameters.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-101014-Decorations

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Schmutter-logo-NEW

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

If I’m going on for oven mitts, I don’t want to see sock puppets until at least page 40.

Alternatively, you can try your absolute hardest to listen whenever she says anything.

Father’s Day comes every year. How many drills can you get him?

This week, I’m asking the questions for a change.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Purim around here is crazy. And I’m not just talking about the amount of questions I get.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/could-you-repeat-the-question/2013/01/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: