web analytics
July 28, 2015 / 12 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Dinner Ideas

Schmutter-071213

Ever since I started this advice column, I’ve noticed that quite a number of readers – and you in particular – haven’t been sending me questions. And I get it. You don’t know what to ask. I don’t give “real advice,” by which I mean “advice you can use without making the situation worse,” and you have no idea what kind of questions you can ask that I might have answers for. With Dr. Yael, for example, you figure that you should ask her problem-type questions. With an “ask the rabbi” column, you ask him shaylos. But what am I an expert in?

Nothing apparently.

But that’s just it. You can ask me anything. I’m the equivalent of a friend you see sometimes that you can tap on the shoulder and go, “Hey, what do you think?” The topic doesn’t really matter. For example, someone recently asked me the following:

Hey,

What should I make for supper?

No Idea

Dear No,

I don’t know. In general, I don’t really mind making supper; it’s figuring out what to make that’s a pain. (I do want to point out, though, that I’m talking about supper, as opposed to dinner. Your children’s yeshiva, for example, invites you to a dinner every year. There’s no “31st Annual Supper”.)

The easiest days to plan suppers, hands down, are fast days. (“Let’s see… We’ll have bagels and spreads, soup, baked ziti, and eggplant parmesan. And then a half hour later we’ll have fleishigs.”) Sometimes I’ll spend the entire fast making supper.

Which brings me to my business idea: I think there should be a service we can sign up for, wherein we’d give them all of our information, and then we can call them up any night of the week, and a person, preferably someone who’s been fasting all day, will tell us what to make for supper. There will be no decisions on our part.

This would definitely be a great business idea for you if you’re the type of person who enjoys:

A. money, and

B. receiving millions of phone calls during supper.

Hey,

I’m making a wedding and I’m looking to save money. Any suggestions?

M.T. Wallet

Dear M.,

This isn’t easy. Firstly, you don’t really want to cut out things that matter to the chosson and kallah, because this is their big day, and no one wants theirs to be the wedding where the groom’s father decided there would be no band because he and his friends were reasonably okay at A Capella.

But, for example, you can rephrase the invitations.

Let’s put it this way: Most of the people that you invite to the wedding, you invite only so they shouldn’t be offended that they weren’t invited, and they show up only so that you won’t be offended that they didn’t come. Or so they don’t have to figure out what to make for supper.

But if you have such a close relationship with them that you’re willing to pay over $50 a plate for their meal (and you don’t even pay $50 for your own plates at home that you get to keep), then why aren’t you close enough to talk to each other and straighten this out?

Of course, the answer is that you really don’t have time to do this with each person you invite, because you’re busy putting together a wedding for 500 people so they won’t be offended.

But the main problem, I think, is the invitation itself. Every invitation says that the hosts “request the honor of your presence”, or that you are “cordially invited”, the implication being that you’d better be there unless you have a really good excuse, such as that you’re dead. So I think that invitations should be rephrased to be a little less forceful:

Mr. and Mrs. Bob Finkelstein
And Mr. and Mrs. Sam Weinberg
Cordially invite you
To be aware that
Becky
And
Dave
Will not be available to come to any weddings that you may be throwing
On Sunday, the thirtieth of July,
Because they will be getting married
At One PM
Temple Beth Shalom.
Although you can come
If you have nothing else going on that day.

If you can pull this off, you will definitely save a ridiculous amount of money.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Dinner Ideas”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
British Prime Minister David Cameron
Britain Warns Citizens Against Travel to Turkey, Fearing ISIS Attacks
Latest Sections Stories

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

What makes this diary so historically significant is that it is not just the private memoir of Dr. Seidman. Rather, it is a reflection of the suffering of Klal Yisrael at that time.

Rabbi Lau is a world class speaker. When he relates stories, even concentration camp stories, the audience is mesmerized. As we would soon discover, he is in the movie as well.

Each essay, some adapted from lectures Furst prepared for live audiences, begins with several basic questions around a key topic.

For the last several years, four Jewish schools in the Baltimore Jewish community have been expelling students who have not received their vaccinations.

“We can’t wait for session II to begin” said camp director Mrs. Judy Neufeld.

Chabad Chayil wishes all a happy and healthy remainder of summer.

It’s ironic that the title of terrorist has been bestowed upon a couple whose alleged actions resulted in the death of three turtles.

“There is much for us to learn from this extraordinary family and their outstanding son,” said Rabbi Goldberg.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-M-NEW-logo

My parents have a coffee table in their den, and I’ve never seen anyone drink coffee on it.

Schmutter-M-NEW-logo

Wait. Why would I give you 22 minutes first? How about you give me the world, and then I give you the 22 minutes.

For the most part, though, people tend to base their decision on how long the lines in the store are going to be.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

So generally, I dance for a few minutes and then stand off to the side with all the other people who don’t dance and feel like they have to make conversation, even though that’s when the music is the loudest.

Imagine you were a doctor, and then, one day a year, everyone tried his or her hand at surgery.

Dear Mordechai,
How do I prevent my Smartphone from breaking the first time I drop it?
Shattered in Pieces

Because you can’t have kids pouring huge jugs of oil into tiny glasses, unless you want to turn your house into an environmental disaster.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/dinner-ideas/2013/07/12/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: