web analytics
October 31, 2014 / 7 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Look Out


Over-The-Rainbow-logo

When my daughter refused to wear knee-highs, because none of the girls in her class did – she wanted to wear short socks – I panicked. Again, I wondered how would my kids remain frum? But then I began breathing and realized, hey, it’s just a sock! My daughter wasn’t throwing all standards of modesty out the window! I relaxed. Her skirts were long enough, her shirts had long sleeves. It really was going to be okay.

Then it was time for shidduchim. Everything seemed to be going well until I mentioned to the shadchan that my son did not wear a black hat. She inhaled deeply. “Oh,” she said. “Then he does not have yiras Shamayim.” I was stunned. I do not remember what I answered, but I know I did thank her for her efforts and got off the phone. No yiras Shamayim, I thought? Is that how one who does not wear black and white is viewed? At a recent family event with irreligious people, a very attractive girl asked this son to dance. My son refused, saying he did not dance with women. The girl and the family members urged him. “Come on,” they said, “your father is not here to see.” He looked at them. “I do not do things because my father wants me to. I do them for me!”

My son was prepared for the dicey challenges that awaited him when he went into the business world. Because even without wearing a black hat, he does have yiras Shamayim. He also answered “no” to a different well-meaning shadchan who advised him to wear a black hat – just on the first date. ‘But everyone does it for the first date,” she said. “It will make a good impression.” My son refused. “How about just putting a black hat in the back window of your car?” My son said no, he would not pretend to be someone he was not.

Living over the rainbow means more color in my life. It is true that my children may not exactly mirror the look of the yeshiva world on the outside, but they do have a strong Torah foundation on the inside. They also each know what it means to contribute to a community, and feel a responsibility to help out. I left a city with many grey buildings, and though there are some very nice lawns here and there, it cannot compare to the beauty of greenery and flowers that is the norm out here. I expect to see color, both outside and with the people I meet. Even when visiting New York, I long for the wide-open spaces of my town. Out here the student body and their parents are of many different shades. Out-of-town there can be well-meaning ladies who speak with great inspiration, but do not cover their hair. There are others women who are the first to do chesed, but may wear pants. There are parents who work with great dedication on behalf of our day school, but do not keep Shabbos. I daven that our community has peace, and that we all – black, white, and every color in between – will soon unite together and greet Moshiach!

About the Author: Penina Scheiner is a kindergarten teacher, writer, and busy wife and mom who lives over the rainbow with her husband and kids.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

2 Responses to “Look Out”

  1. Rafi Hecht says:

    I don't think this is a mainstream Orthodox thing. No, I think this is only in New York. I never had this issue since moving to Toronto.

    New York is sick in the amount of official "red tape" that is wrapped around everything. I guess that in the New York O community, the black hat counts as "black tape?"

    I can go on and on. Please don't make me. I read the same article over Shabbos and was just as repulsed at how stupid people have become.

  2. Shoshanna Goldstein Sanders says:

    It is the shadchan who lacks Yiras Shamayim, not your son. He sounds like a real gem and I hope he soon finds a zivug who is worthy of him.

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Yehudah Glick on the Temple Mount.
Yehuda Glick’s Condition Stabilizing, “He Was Very Lucky” (1:00 PM)
Latest Sections Stories
Collecting-History-logo

Undoubtedly the greatest manifestation of his antipathy was his infamous declaration: “[Expletive] the Jews. They don’t vote for us anyway.”

West-Coast-logo

Chaplain Winkler along with the other OJCB chaplains work tirelessly on a daily basis to ensure that all of the Jewish prisoners religious needs are met.

Eller-103114-Busy-In-Brooklyn

“I work around the Jewish calendar, always trying to think of creative spins,” noted Chani.

“Without a high school diploma, you couldn’t work as a garbage collector in New York City; you couldn’t join the Air Force. Yet a quarter of our kids still walked out of high school and never came back.”
– Amanda Ridley

My mother-in-law is totally devoted to her daughters and their children. Her sons’ children on the other hand are treated like second-class citizens.

The Polin Museum of the History of Polish Jews is designed to tell the whole thousand-year story of the Jews in Poland.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks we were planning our daily schedule by the minute. At any second we would have to change our plans. It was understood by everyone on the bus that this was not the normal agenda for the summer, but we still managed to have a ridiculous amount […]

Avromi often put other people’s interests before his own: he would not defend people whom he believed were guilty (even if they were willing to pay him a lot of money).

The Presbyterian Church USA voted to divest from three companies that do business with Israel.

How can I help my wife learn to say “no,” and understand that her first priority must be her husband and family?

My eyes skimmed an article on page 1A. I was flabbergasted. I read the title again. Could it be? It had good news for the Miami Jewish community.

Students in early childhood, elementary, and middle school were treated to an array of hands-on projects to create sukkah decorations such as wind chimes, velvet posters, sand art, paper chains, and more.

More Articles from Penina Scheiner
Scheiner-010314

My first cell phone was given to me by a son who doesn’t live near us. He was tired of trying to reach me on our landline. He felt it was wrong for me not to be able to be accessible to my family, and I must admit that he was right.

Scheiner-101113-Bag

“What are the 3 best reasons to be a teacher? June, July and August!”

Sometimes, you see it coming and sometimes you don’t. You move into a community thinking, “We’ll stay here for a while,” and then things change, and your position in chinuch is not as certain as you had believed.

Chaos – that is how the world is described at its inception in the book of Beraishis (Genesis). Confusion. A lack of clarity and boundaries. Or, as I teach my kindergartners, “a mishmash”.

Some of us climb a scale each day in terror and dread. Some of us alight a scale, with our hearts thumping and throats tightening. We may know how to jump off and on, or gyrate this way or that to create a different number. And we will stare at that all important number – which could very well dictate our mood for the rest of the day. We believe the final number to be the true judge of our worth – of how well we are doing. And we are sorry that the scale could not be fooled.

I just finished trying on all my pre-nine day clothes. You know the drill: Wash your clothing but leave enough time to parade around in what will be worn for the next nine days. This way, it will not be freshly laundered. What amazes me is that each year I am sure it will be a very easy activity, since I have nothing to wear! Yet, somehow I find it very time-consuming.

Tina was in my kindergarten class last year. Each day Tina’s hair flew all around her. It would tumble into her eyes and she would bat at it periodically throughout the day just to see. Sometimes I’d use whatever hair accessory I had at hand – even just a rubber band – to put Tina’s hair out of her face.

When you‘re here, over the rainbow, it is different. Being out-of-town is not about living in some neighborhood of Brooklyn (other than Boro Park, Williamsburg, or Flatbush). Living out-of-town also does not mean living in other parts of the Big Apple, like Manhattan or Queens. It doesn’t even mean living in the suburbs – like the Five Towns or Great Neck. Being here, over the rainbow, means living away.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/look-out/2012/08/10/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: