web analytics
April 21, 2014 / 21 Nisan, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Spa 1.2 Combining Modern Living in Traditional Jerusalem

A unique and prestigious residential project in now being built in Mekor Haim Street in Jerusalem.



Sounds Of Silence


Schmutter-041213

Share Button

Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we delve into questions sent in by readers. We might as well. It’s not like we can listen to music.

Dear Mordechai,

What should I do about Sefirah and the whole “no music” thing?

Awkward

Dear Awkward,

A lot of people go crazy about it. “A month without music! Oh no!” This is because they’re afraid to be alone with their thoughts.

Why not talk to yourself, like the rest of us?

One of the huge benefits of music has always been for when you’re so uncomfortable with the people you’re talking to that you need a break. Kind of like at Shabbos meals, when someone always starts singing just as the conversation gets weird. Or interesting. And the same goes for weddings. This is why school dinners are so awkward — you can’t suddenly break into song. The speeches don’t help.

Also, a lot of people like having music on in the background while they do other things, because they want to feel like they’re in an inspirational movie montage. How are we supposed to work off a whole Yom Tov’s worth of weight when there’s no inspirational background music?

Oh, well. I guess we’ll start working out after Sefirah.

So a lot of people try to come up with strategies to cope. For example, many people use the same strategy they do before a fast day – listen to as much music as they can right before Sefirah, and hope it will hold them over. Even though it doesn’t really work with fasts either, and that’s just one day.

Or maybe their plan is to get so sick of music that they can go for a while without it, kind of like we do with noodles before Pesach. We eat them 3 meals a day for a month straight, and then we feel like maybe we can go for a week without noodles. So we listen to music the entire time that we’re cleaning. This isn’t something you can do with haircuts.

“Yes, I’d like 3 haircuts, please!”

But if you really can’t get along without music, you might be able to try listening to something that’s not music, such as a cappella.

(Ask your rabbi, though. Some rabbis say you can only listen to bad a cappella.)

Of course, there is a limited amount of a cappella albums out there, and you can easily get sick of them. But the upside is that you can make your own, and no rabbi would question that that’s okay. Some rabbis also permit classical music, because those don’t usually lead to joy (except maybe “An Ode to Joy”). At best, people are sitting there going, “Wait. Which part is the chorus?” or “When are they gonna get to the words?” And you can’t even hum it without at least 20 people, which means that it’s probably not something you can sing in the shower.

Dear Mordechai,

Why is there a minhag to cut a 3-year-old’s hair on Lag Ba’Omer specifically, even if it’s not his birthday?

Meir Rhone

Dear Meir,

I don’t know that it’s necessarily a minhag. I think it just seems like more people do it then because it’s basically the culmination of 34 days of birthdays where you couldn’t cut hair, plus all the days before Yom Tov when you didn’t really have a chance because you were busy cleaning and cooking and listening to music, and all your relatives were like, “I’m not going to drive 2 hours each way to watch them cut their kid’s hair. There’ll be other haircuts. It’s not like he’s balding yet.” And the last thing you want right before Pesach is to get hair over everything you own, which is what happens when you have all your relatives take turns cutting hair off a 3-year-old boy and then giving him honey.

I think some people do have a minhag specifically for Lag Ba’Omer, though. It has something to do with Rabi Shimon bar Yochai, which, as with most things about Rabi Shimon bar Yochai, we don’t really understand. But to emphasize the connection, those people incorporate the Bar Yochai song, which goes, “BAR Yochai, nananananananai nananananai nanananana-nai, BAR Yochai nananananananai nanananai mei chaveirecha.”

Okay, so maybe we only know the first two words, but we still love the song and emphasize the “Bar.” Such is the power of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai.

Dear Mordechai,

Why do new stores have ribbon-cutting ceremonies? “Wow, we cut a ribbon.” My wife does that when she wraps Chanukah presents.

Impressed

Dear Impressed,

Is this even really a question? Every Jewish simcha involves breaking or cutting something.

On the other hand, if you think about it, they only need to cut the ribbon because they put the ribbon there in the first place. They’re just making more work for themselves. And they always use these comical oversized scissors — the kind where if you walked into a barber shop and he pulled it out, you’d run for your life. Unless it’s right before sefirah. (“Yeah, give me the big scissors. I have 33 days coming up.”)

But they want to generate excitement and have a ceremony where they let people in, and if the way they do that is by just opening the door, then their backs would be facing everyone. The ribbon allows them to face the crowd and give speeches. It’s weird to give a speech and then turn your back to an audience and open a door.

Second of all, if you’re just opening a door, everyone will be like, “I’m not going to drive two hours each way to watch him open a door. I can watch that any day.”

And third of all, they’d have to stand there holding the door open while everyone piled in, and you know how it is when you open a door for one person, and then the whole world decides to pile in behind him once you’re holding it open anyway.

People like ceremonies. If there’s no building yet, they do something called a “groundbreaking ceremony.” A groundbreaking ceremony, despite its name, is nothing special. Definitely nothing earth-shattering. Basically, what happens is that the officials dig up a couple of shovelfuls of dirt, like they’re going to put up the whole building themselves, even though they’re using a small ceremonial shovel, often adorned with a bow, that is woefully inadequate for the job, plus they’re all wearing suits, and then they give up after about 3 shovels full.

“Whew! This is harder than we thought! Let’s leave the rest for the contractors. You got a picture of me digging, right?”

And then you don’t see them again until it’s time to cut the ribbon.

Have any questions for “You’re Asking Me?? Please send them in. I’m alone with my thoughts, and… Well, you’ve seen my thoughts.

Share Button

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

No Responses to “Sounds Of Silence”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
BDS targets Zabar's; Carole Zabar promotes BDS proponents.
All in the Family: BDS Protests Zabars; Carole Zabar Promotes BDS
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

Regardless of age, parents play an important role in their children’s lives.

Marriage-Relationship-logo

We peel away one layer after the next, our eyes tear up and it becomes harder and harder to see as we get closer to our innermost insecurities and fears.

Gorsky-041814-Torah

Some Mountain Jews believe they are descendents of the Ten Lost Tribes and were exiled to Azerbaijan and Dagestan by Sancheriv.

Baim-041814-Piggy

Yom Tov is about spending time with your family. And while for some families the big once-in-a-lifetime experience is great, for others something low key is the way to go.

A fascinating glimpse into the rich complexity of medieval Jewish life and its contemporary relevance had intriguingly emerged.

Dear Dr. Yael:

My heart is breaking; my husband’s friend has gotten divorced. While this type of situation is always sad, here I do believe it could have been avoided.

The plan’s goal is to provide supportive housing to 200 individuals with disabilities by the year 2020.

Despite being one of the fastest-growing Jewish communities in the U.S. – the estimated Jewish population is 70-80,000 – Las Vegas has long been overlooked by much of the Torah world.

She was followed by the shadows of the Six Million, by the ever so subtle awareness of their vanished presence.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Now all the pain, fear and struggle were over and they were home. Yuli was safe and free, a hero returned to his land and people.

While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.

I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.

Alternative assessments are an extremely important part of understanding what students know beyond the scope of tests and quizzes.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Round hand-made 
"shmurah matzah" is becoming more popular even among secular Jews in the United States.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Schmutter-031414

Purim around here is crazy. And I’m not just talking about the amount of questions I get.

Dear Mordechai,

Someone gave me a gift that I don’t like. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

You Shouldn’t Have

This week we deal with questions from people who, one way or another, are on their own. And as usual, we don’t really help them.

Dear Mordechai,

What is the origin of the custom to eat Seudah Shlishis in shul?

Mizmor L’David

This week we deal with Chanukah presents and the kids who probably don’t deserve them:

Yom Tov is no longer upon us, for a change, so now it’s time to get to the things we promised we’d do after it was over.

I mean besides dieting. Maybe we’ll do that after the next Yom Tov.

If you’re looking to get away from the irritations of technology and people in your way, the best place to go is Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

    Latest Poll

    Now that Kerry's "Peace Talks" are apparently over, are you...?







    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/sounds-of-silence/2013/04/12/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: