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October 6, 2015 / 23 Tishri, 5776
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Special Summershpiel Edition

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Question: What’s on your Summer reading list?



Believe it or not, I’m not much of a reader. I have, however, spent the past few weeks plowing through a difficult but rewarding book. The title escapes me just now, but at first I thought the main character was based on me. His name? Curious George. Have you heard of him?

George W. Bush, president of the United States




The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman, because I’ve always suspected that’s true. I am also looking into mass ordering The Book Of Useless Information by Noel Botham for our new curriculum. 

 Yuli Tamir, Israeli minister of education





As everyone knows, I’d been a loser in the political arena for a very long time. I never thought I would win an election, especially at age 83, but after picking up Rhonda Bryne’s The Secret, I willed my recent victory through the laws of attraction that surge through the positive energy I emit. I’m also loving God Is Not Great by that brilliant atheist Christopher Hitchens, because organized religion is the root of all our conflicts and should have no place in my country.

 Shimon Peres, president of Israel





When CBS News hired me as anchor, I started reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens for inspiration. Currently, with the steep decline in my ratings, I’m engrossed in Woman at Point Zero by Nawal El Sadaawi. Dan Rather has recommended I read Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. If my ratings don’t pick up soon, I’ll have time to read Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. Just joking — I hope.

Katie Couric, CBS News anchor





A book I can relate to is Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. I conquered the real estate and business worlds with my expansion of Trump Towers and casinos; Trump Steaks have revolutionized the way the culinary world thinks of meat; and no one in the bottled water industry can copy the distinct flavor of Trump Ice spring water. Let’s face it – I’m unbeatable.

 Donald Trump, mogul



This week’s column is intended for satirical purposes only.  

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