web analytics
March 30, 2015 / 10 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Wedding Etiquette For Guests

Eller-060713

It’s hard to believe that June is finally here, but one look through the day’s mail is enough to convince me that the school year is almost over and summer will be here before I blink. What makes me say that? The plethora of large cream envelopes, addressed in calligraphic letters, bearing stamps with pictures of creamy white roses.

You know what I am talking about. Wedding season. And with the advent of those many June simchas, it seems appropriate to devote some time to things the chosson and kallah and their respective parents wish you knew.

First and foremost, unless you have made a simcha of your own, it is hard to understand just how infuriating it can be when your invited guests neglect to send back their return cards. You may know that you wouldn’t miss that wedding for the world, but unless you take the time to send back that card, your hosts will have no idea whether or not you will be there in person to share in their simcha. Does it really matter? Yes, it does. For starters, it is difficult to plan seating when you have no clue who will be showing up. And more often than not, because of financial constraints, your hosts may only be able to invite a limited number of their friends and family members, which means there will be people that the baalei simcha wish they could invite but just don’t have the ability to do so. If you can’t make it to a wedding, send your regrets as soon as possible so that your hosts can invite other guests to enhance the occasion.

While not everyone feels obligated to send wedding gifts for the bride and groom, if you are going to buy something, put yourself in the recipients’ shoes and ask yourself what gifts they would most like to receive. Feel free to call up the chosson, the kallah, their parents or relatives and ask if there is anything in particular they need. Some couples end up with a dozen challah covers while others end up with a whole collection of salt shakers – and while owning multiples of both of these items can be useful, there is a limit to just how many of the same item anyone needs. Also, if you are personalizing an item, such as a becher or a challah cover, resist the urge to have your name added to the gift as a reminder of your warmth and generosity. Having been married for twenty six years, I can assure you that I can still identify which wedding gifts came from which cousin and which family friend without the benefit of having the donors’ names inscribed on the gift. Also, if you are having a gift engraved or embroidered with the names of the chosson and kallah, take a moment to find out what names they actually use. Very often the formal names that appear on the invitation are not the names that the bride and groom actually use in their day-to-day lives.

While this may seem obvious, be sure to go over to your hosts to wish them a hearty mazal tov. You may think that they are too busy to remember who actually greeted them or not, but I still remember wondering the day after my kids’ weddings if particular guests had been in attendance because I didn’t see them once the entire night. And while your hosts may not have more than a moment to speak with you, rest assured that knowing that you took the time to get dressed and come out for their simcha really does add to the indescribable happiness of the occasion. Similarly try to take a moment to introduce yourself to all the baalei simcha even if you haven’t met them yet, be they the bride, the groom, one set of parents or both and even the grandparents. Everyone will be happy to accept your warm wishes and will appreciate the fact that you took the time to say mazal tov.

When it comes time for dancing, no matter who you are, do NOT monopolize the guests of honor. Yes, you may want to dance with the kallah or her mother. But remember that both the kallah and her mother have dozens of people to dance with in the short forty minutes that comprise the two dance sets that typically make up most weddings. By going back to dance with the kallah three times, you have effectively taken up the dance slots of two other people who might have also wanted to dance with the guest of honor.

About the Author: Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who writes for numerous websites, newspapers, magazines and many private clients. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Wedding Etiquette For Guests”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Former PM Ehud Olmert at Tel Aviv District Court hears his sentence on May 13, 2014. (archive)
Ehud Olmert Found Guilty of Fraud in ‘Talansky Affair’
Latest Sections Stories
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

book-To-Fill-The-Sky-With-Stars

The connection between what I experienced as a high school teenager and the adult I am today did not come easy to me.

Respler-032715

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

South-Florida-logo

Jack was awarded a blue and gold first-place trophy, appropriately topped off with a golden bee.

Participating in ManiCures during the school day may feel like a break from learning, but the intended message to the students was loud and clear. Learning and chesed come in all forms, and can be fun.

Building campaign chairman Jack Gluck has led the effort over many years.

When using an extension cord always make sure to use the correct rated extension cord.

There was no question that when Mrs. Cohen entered the room to meet the teacher she was hostile from the outset.

Szold was among the founders and leaders (she served on its executive committee) of Ichud (“Unity”), a political group that campaigned against the creation of an independent, sovereign Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael.

My friend is a strong and capable Jewish woman, but she acted with a passivity that seemed out of character.

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

First, sit down with your helpers and a pen and paper and break the jobs down into small parts.

More Articles from Sandy Eller
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

Kitchen surfing is a unique concept that brings professional chefs to your home to prepare a meal in your own kitchen.

Eller-030615

The Readers Digest lists several unconventional jewelry cleaning techniques, and while I have yet to try any of them, they do sound interesting.

There is a lot of creativity in the food blogging community and not only in the kitchen.

One of the best perks of writing about restaurants is that we often have the opportunity to taste a broad sampling of menu items and the chef at Brasserie Halevi kept up a steady stream of food to our table.

If you have ever tried to organize the different sized roller blades in your garage, you will appreciate the wisdom of the roller skates we had when we were little.

His entire existence was about spreading simcha and glorifying G-d’s name on a daily basis.

As always, when it comes to electronics, you get what you pay for.

“The secret to a good donut is using quality ingredients and the ability to be patient and give them time to proof.”

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/wedding-etiquette-for-guests/2013/06/07/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: