web analytics
November 28, 2014 / 6 Kislev, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Herzliya Campus A Day on Campus

To mark IDC Herzliya’s 20th anniversary, we spent a day following Prof. Uriel Reichman, IDC’s founder and president, and Jonathan Davis, VP for External Relations, around its delightful campus.



Come Sit With Me

Twenties-092713-Candles

At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to use it at all.

I had thought the concept was perfect. A rose-colored background, surrounding black encroaching from all sides. It would be a cave of warmth, a hiding place within the darkness.

The black paint had dripped alarmingly, though, spilling off the canvas onto the table. I lifted it, shifted it, repainted and retouched, determined to force those stubborn colors to do as I wished.

At some point I decided I had done my part, at least for this late hour, and decided to let nature and time take their course. I carefully lifted the canvas and whooshed it onto the plastic tablecloth to join its four drying fellows. I closed my eyes and decided to ignore any dripping, touching or fading. Time to move on. An hour later, all six canvases on the floor, paint spills mopped up and the clock proclaiming the arrival of dawn, I dropped into bed.

Now, a few hours later, I knelt on the slippery plastic and examined the canvases.

The purple with sprinkled gold looked surprisingly rich and deep. The blue was mildly pleasant. The red was rich and ripe.Twenties-092713-Yellow

But the pink and black one? I made a face as I stared. It just looked… washed out. Immature. Totally non-material for anything significant. Well, too bad. You couldn’t get ‘em all.

I left it for last.

I didn’t think it would amount to much, but once it was half done, I might as well give it my best.

I closed my eyes and dropped deep inside myself, envisioning the aura that was there, waiting to be captured.

I knew what the words were.

Last night, sitting in the darkness, knowing that I needed something, something, to help me through this Yom Tov. The anxieties and terrors that pressed down seemed to crush my head and heart.  Each day, when I prayed, my helpless lips would turn upwards, not knowing what to say. And they would murmur, Hashem, please help me, Hashem, please help me, Hashem please help me, please…

But sometimes, when all was crashing, crescendo, and it was not enough, something inside me would take a deep breath, and slide in desperation to that place that lets go, when there is nothing left to hold on to. Hashem… You can do anything. Not because You are stronger then everything, but because… because everything comes from You, is You. We are all in Your hands… ata Mikomo shel olam, vi’ein ha’olam Mikomcha. You are the Place of the world, we exist within You, and only within You. Hashem… I am in Your hands… hold me up, please… ein ode milvadecha, there is nothing other than You. I am in Your hands, I am in this place that is You, only You… I am not begging, Hashem, for You are not external to me, or to anything in this world. I am knowing, being, to the exclusion of all…that You are everything, Hashem. Take care of me, Hashem, hold me up… for I am Yours.

All sins, all unworthiness, all fear, and not-knowing, was then simply irrelevant. For I was attached, held in The Place, and there I would be safe.

I needed that safety now.

I sat in the darkness, and tried to form the thought into words. What could I write, what words could capture that Place, and keep me safe in my sukkah?

Ata Mikomo shel olam, vi’ein ha’olam Mikomcha. All encompassing, encircling all existence in a strong, sure, grip. You are the Place of the world, and the world is not Your Place.

I needed to capture that. Restless, I reached for a Chumash and leafed through the pages to find the source of these words. Ah, here it was.

And Hashem said, “Behold, there is a place with Me, and you shall stand on the rock.”

Hashem said to Moshe, here is a place with Me on the mountain… I will hide you there, that you shall not be harmed… and from there you shall see what you shall see.

And the Medrash is…  Place is with Me… and not ‘I am in the place.’ For Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the Place of the world… (Rashi)

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Come Sit With Me”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry .
NYT Ignores US Condemnation of PA Incitement, Prints Info on Ferguson Cop
Latest Sections Stories
West-Coast-logo

Lester Crown, a perennial member of the Forbes 400 list since 1982 and founder of the prestigious Covenant Foundation, took the stage in Washington, D.C. before a room of high-powered dignitaries, philanthropists, and innovators.

Collecting-History-logo

Not as well known, however, is Keller’s involvement with Jewish and Israeli communities.

Creativity without clarity is not sufficient for writing. I am eternally thankful to Hashem for his gift to me.

This core idea of memory is very difficult to fully comprehend; however, it is essential.

Sometimes the most powerful countermove one can make when a person is screaming is to calmly say that her behavior is not helpful and then continue interacting with the rest of the family while ignoring the enraged person.

“Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples shall divide within you.”

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

There were many French Jews who jumped at the chance to shed their ancient identity and assimilate.

As Rabbi Shemtov stood on the stage and looked out at the attendees, he told them that “Rather than take photos with your cellphones, take a mental photo and keep this Shabbat in your mind and take it with you throughout your life.”

Yeshiva v’Kollel Bais Moshe Chaim will be holding a grand celebration on the occasion of the institution’s 40th anniversary on Sunday evening, December 7. Alumni, students, friends and faculty of the yeshiva, also known as Talmudic University of Florida, will celebrate the achievement and vision of its founders and the spiritual guidance of its educational […]

The yeshiva night accommodates all levels of Jewish education.

More Articles from Sari Abraham
Twenties-012414

I stood there on the steps, rather stunned. I couldn’t believe he was serious; surely this was just a chocolate-obtaining-method of flattery. But I sure wasn’t taking a chance.

Twenties-092713-Candles

At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to use it at all.

I had thought the concept was perfect. A rose-colored background, surrounding black encroaching from all sides. It would be a cave of warmth, a hiding place within the darkness.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/teens-twenties/come-sit-with-me/2013/09/25/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: