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September 19, 2014 / 24 Elul, 5774
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It’s A Boy’s World, You Know

Teens-101912

You’ve gotta settle, stop being so choosy, it’s a boy’s world after all
And you’re just one of the millions who think their worth something, have the gall.
You’ve got to start looking better, so that you’ll be noticed when you walk through town
And perhaps you can lose a few pounds too, so we can pull your resume dress size down.

‘Tis a boys market, you know, so stop being such a case
Fess up and accept the reality that you’re being forced to face.
You can’t just tell a shadchan “no” because the guy’s very bummy
For it’s the reality that all girls are gold while all the guys are crummy.

Shadchan after shadchan tells you this, their words sting like an open wound
Your hopes of ever finding Mr. Right for you, suddenly shattered and ruined.
Their conversations were so similar, that they all seem like one big blur
And the sad reality is that your parents seem to side with him or her.

They convince you to at least try to date him, with “no” “ifs” “ands” or “buts”
So what if he’s missing a screw or two so what if he’s completely nuts?
So what if he recalculates his every move, so what if he’s weird and nerdy?
So what if he looks disheveled, his hair all loose, his suits all dirty?

It’s a boy’s world you know, and girls come a dozen a dime
So you have to be on your best behavior, always and graduate college on time.
You have to do everything right, from high school, to work-life to sem
You always have to look great at weddings and portray yourself as a gem.

You always have to act nicely to people; you always have to act stable
You can never act moody or vent, but rather have to empower and to enable.
You have to act sweet and happy, and if you’re not, you just have to pretend
Otherwise, how on earth do you expect your singlehood to ever end?

Yet he can do as he wishes and pleases, and nobody says a peep
He can sit around and klutz all day, and arise at 12p.m. after sleep.
He can flunk out of school and take his time with things, because there’s simply no rush for guys
Despite how completely messed up he turns out to be, they’ll be flocking to him like flies.

Because it’s just a boy’s world you know, so he can act like a jerk
Date hundreds of women and live it up, and then dump them for every quirk.
He can still be warming the bench in yeshiva, and so what if he’s 24?
There will somehow still be a million girls lined up, knocking on his door.

Hang out in the coffee room till 12 a.m. comparing Chock-full to Nescafe
Daven three times without a minyan and not go to shul all day.
He’s few and far between, you know, so why should he bother to try?
He’ll be easy to marry off anyway for his chromosome is XY.

It’s a boy’s world, so I better get used to it, for I’m a mere commodity
Valued by how many thousands my parents will give if he so chooses to marry me.
Perhaps I may be a top girl, but I’m defective merchandise nonetheless
Simply because I’m not wearing pants, but instead put on a skirt or a dress.

So what if I’m pretty and fun to be around, so what if I’m in Columbia law?
So what if I come from the most charming family and can make the prettiest cakes you ever saw.
So what if I have the best track record, while his is far less than great?
He’s one of those hard-to-find yeshiva bochurim, so I better accept the date.

So what if he appears to be obnoxious, wants to marry a slave to him, get a free ride
So what if his ego’s humongous, and nothing can ever shatter his pride.
So what if he looks like a monkey, and is 4’11 and rates a Tanner II
So what if he takes his life easy and parties, as though he’s got nothing better to do.

So what if he has no masculinity, and you quiver as much as you’d dread
The mere thought of someone thinking of you together, let alone the shidduch actually redt.
So what if he tells you a 19 year old is inherently better than someone older
And makes you feel worthless on dates, while constantly looking over his shoulder.

You still should feel privileged that he wants you, because you’re living in a crisis
And every girl in this wicked world has got to make some sacrifices,
Or else she’ll wind up an old maid like the many that exist
Without a ring ever placed on her finger, or an engagement bracelet on her wrist.

I’ll have to accept things the way they are, or I’ll never become a wife
So I better get used the fact, and grow up, because that’s a girl’s lot in life.

To reach the author e-mail teens@jewishpress.com 

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5 Responses to “It’s A Boy’s World, You Know”

  1. Shani Faitelewicz says:

    So true!

  2. L'via Weisinger says:

    wow. the pain is raw and hard to fathom. but this is reality these days. who created these monsters who call themselves eligible boys? who are their fathers? have they no shame?

  3. Rachel Furman Stern says:

    And it is worse for older women like myself who find themselves single. The men who are available tend to so full of themselves. They think they are G-d's gift to women – they may be fat, stupid, poor, ugly, poorly dressed, exhibit poor hygiene — but they expect to marry a thin, beautiful, YOUNG woman!! (with money!)

  4. Rachel Furman Stern says:

    And they are in their 50's and 60's and SAY they believe that the mitzvah of "p'ru u'r'vu" applies to them (their excuse for wanting to marry a YOUNG woman)!

  5. Thats such a sad life. What can these girls look forward too. It was much different when we went out&better when our parents did. Girls did not think so lowly of themselves&made to feel that they should marry anyone who will take them. Please Men/boys Change Your Attitudes, Grow Up. Be A Man. Parents of these boys……shame on you! Teach them to be mentsches, respect, respect!

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You’ve gotta settle, stop being so choosy, it’s a boy’s world after all
And you’re just one of the millions who think their worth something, have the gall.
You’ve got to start looking better, so that you’ll be noticed when you walk through town
And perhaps you can lose a few pounds too, so we can pull your resume dress size down.

Turbulence.
There is
Turbulence
Up here.
In the air.

Dear Cheryl,

Your thoughts in last week’s column were an absolutely perfect reflection of everything going through my mind and the minds of many of my friends for the last few years. Thank you so much. I always enjoy reading your articles, and when I read this one I felt I had to write to you because the topic touches such a nerve with me.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/teens-twenties/its-a-boys-world-you-know/2012/10/19/

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