My body may be still but my mind is on the move. I can’t stop thinking about the nature of existence. This question engulfs the labyrinth of my experience in the here and now. Almost as if this question is in a constant state of being. It is the source of my thirst for truth. I just want to know why there is anything.
How can awareness evolve from exploding stars? How is it that everything in space and time is all made of atoms? How is it that atoms are made of subatomic particles that can be in two places at once? Who is the master of this grand design!? Why is it that You cared so much and went so far to create space and time out of nothing but You don’t spare us enough time to cure cancer, or just to cure the common cold? Where are you my Lord?
I am captivated by the thought of Your infinity. The thought of it transports my mind through the cave of the ineffable, where my linguistics will never do this experience justice. I am quickly sent into Your maze of bliss and I’m trapped inside Your cathedral of wonder.
And then I take a deep breath and say “Wow.” Then, like the flick of a switch, I’m taken back to “reality.” Maybe I am just not ready to meet You or maybe I just can’t meet You. Or maybe You just don’t want to meet me or perhaps You’re not really there.
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One of the earliest special Purims we have on record was celebrated by the Jews of Granada and Shmuel HaNagid, the eleventh-century rav, poet, soldier and statesman, and one of the most influential Jews in Muslim Spain.