web analytics
May 24, 2015 / 6 Sivan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


The Shidduch Parshah May Be Fattening And Bad For Your Health



       I’m not a doctor, nor a biological scientist, but I do know that people under stress produce a hormone called cortisol, which helps the body deal with a stressful event by increasing energy and immunity and even lowering sensitivity to pain. That might explain, for example, how someone with a broken leg can still walk to get help for those more seriously injured.


        However, a long-term presence of cortisol in the body can be detrimental, possibly decreasing bone density, hampering thyroid functioning, raising blood pressure and – the one upsetting to most people – increasing abdominal fat and causing a big belly. Fat deposited in that area, as opposed to others (like your hips), has been linked with serious health problems, such as stroke and heart attacks. (I am giving a simplified view of cortisol; for in-depth information, speak to a medical professional.)


 

Unfortunately our lives tend to be stressful on a daily basis, especially for heimishe women who may have to juggle jobs and raise a household full of kids – with every “free” minute utilized for some errand or activity. Thus chances are they may be chronically stressed, with a possible increase of cortisol floating around inside them, and the potential for the aforementioned side affects – and others as well, such as a reduction in muscle mass and a less efficient immune system.

 

But as I mentioned, the one effect that most people would find disconcerting (especially women) is the depositing of fat around the stomach. Even on a good day, it is easy to find something to worry about. Just listening to news about the economy, bad weather and wars is stress inducing.

 

That being the case, if prolonged stress is potentially fattening, mothers involved in marrying off their children in today’s shidduch climate should be warned that they might not be able to wrap the seatbelt around their middles by the time the last one is married off. Just the stress involved in getting a first date for a child (boy or girl) is off the chart. Unless you are extremely rich, in terms of money or yichus, or are blessed with an incredible mazel and your kids marry the first or second one they go out with, chances are your time in the shidduch parshah will be extremely stress inducing – and possibly fattening.

 

The questions, or rather the interrogations, people and their references are subjected to by the potential date’s parents/shadchan are becoming more ridiculous and over the top, and might induce major exasperation.

 

Recently I tried to calm a friend agitated by her daughter’s latest shidduch experience. The boy’s mother had called one of the references, her daughter’s best friend, who is married. After confirming that, yes, her friend was pretty, she was asked, “How pretty?”

 

“Is there a universal measuring stick for prettiness?” my friend asked. “How do you accurately explain pretty?”

 

The next question almost caused her to tear out her hair. The married friend was asked where the grandparents lived. “What does that have to do with what kind of wife or mother my daughter will be? How does the grandparent’s geographic location affect her middos or the kind of person she is?”

 

I had a hunch that if the grandparents had a condo in Florida, or a villa in Israel, that would improve the girl’s suitability as a wife tremendously – but I didn’t want to upset my already stressed-out friend, as I sensed the crème de la crème question was coming. When the mother was told that the four grandparents were already niftar, she asked the reference why they were no longer living. Since she was a child when her friend’s grandparents passed away, and did not have immediate access to their death certificates, she truthfully said she didn’t know. My guess is that it was old age- but I wasn’t the one being asked.

 

In terms of getting a date, I wonder what is next. DNA samples, in addition to the shidduch resumes that young people must prepare? Detective reports, to be paid for by the other side for the right to go out? Medical histories going back five generations? Or maybe deeds of property and bank statements?

 

In the end, the shadchan said that the boy’s family was looking for someone more “suitable.” My friend barely touched her lunch that day, but as she got up to go, I could swear her skirt looked tighter.

 

 (I am inviting my readers to send me nonsensical shidduch questions that they have been asked, and I will put them in a future column. I can be reached at cherylkupfer@hotmail.com.)

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Shidduch Parshah May Be Fattening And Bad For Your Health”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Tzipi Hotovely, new Deputy Foreign Minister.
Foreign Minister Hotovely: Tell the World ‘God Gave Israel to the Jews’
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

To what extent is your child displaying defiance?

Respler-052215

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

South-Florida-logo

Mistrust that has lingered after the fiasco in Ferguson, Missouri, has edged the issue forward.

“The observance of a kosher diet is a key tenet of Judaism, and one which no state has the right to deny,” said Nathan Diament, executive director for public policy of the Orthodox Union.

Two weeks of intense learning in the classroom about Israel culminated with Yom Ha’Atzmaut. Students attended sessions with their teachers and learned about history, culture, military power, advocacy, slang, cooking, and more.

The nations of the world left the vessel to sit rotting in the water during one of the coldest winters in decades and with its starving and freezing passengers abandoned.

Rabbi Yisroel Edelman, the synagogue’s spiritual leader, declared, “The Young Israel of Deerfield Beach is looking forward to our partnership with the OU. The impact the OU has brought to Jewish communities throughout the country through its outreach and educational resources is enormous and we anticipate the same for our community in Deerfield Beach as well.”

Our goal here is to offer you recipes that you can make on Yom Tov with ingredients you might just have in the house. Enjoy and chag sameach!

Gardening can be a healthy, wholesome activity for the whole family.

Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.

All of these small changes work their way into the framework of the elephant and the rider because they are helping the elephant move forward.

It’s hard not to be intrigued by recipes with names like Thanksgiving Stuffing Soup, Braised Chicken with Rhubarb Gravy and Vidalia Onion Fritters with Sambal Yogurt Dip.

More Articles from Cheryl Kupfer
Kupfer-On-Our-Own-NEW

The message being conveyed is that without “flour,” without the means to support oneself and one’s family, one’s focus on Torah will be impeded by worry.

Kupfer-112114

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Not knowing any better, I assumed that Molly and her mother must be voracious readers.

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Where once divorce in heimische communities was relatively uncommon, nowadays every family has a son, daughter, sibling cousin who is divorced – sometimes twice or even three times!

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/the-shidduch-parshah-may-be-fattening-and-bad-for-your-health/2008/08/06/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: