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August 25, 2016 / 21 Av, 5776

Posts Tagged ‘boat’

Tours For Israel-Hating Leftists

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

The Gaza flotilla and the flytilla may have been failures, but they were also missed opportunities for Israel. It’s no secret that a portion of Israel’s tourist trade comes from “protest tourism” – philosophy students and poetry Ph.D.s who want a chance to visit the Holy Land, throw some rocks at a soldier and have their pictures taken with AK-47-wielding terrorists. And it’s time the Israeli tourist industry took their business seriously.

Rather than profiling them and giving them the heave ho at the airport, why not develop special tourism packages catering to their needs? Imagine the possibilities:

The Rachel Corrie Experience: You’re angry at your parents. You’re angry at the world. You’re still angry at Bush. One time you saw a PBS documentary on Gaza and you said, “Man, are those people angry. But in a really deep and spiritual way.”

Pack your hemp sandals, your $259 sunglasses and get ready to fill your Flickr account with photos of underprivileged children.

Take off from San Francisco International Airport in a remodeled Tupolev Tu-114 aircraft that smells like gasoline and cow manure. As your body tries to decide whether it should pass out from the fumes or throw up from the turbulence, you will relish knowing you have left behind your comfortable life and will soon experience the agony of being in the Third World.

You land at Ben Gurion Airport, where you will be encouraged to yell “Power to the People” slogans at customs officials who will pretend not to understand what you are saying. If you cannot think of anything to yell, a booklet of slogans by a committee that includes Noam Chomsky, Tony Kushner and Norman Finkelstein will be provided for you.

Your accommodations will be a half-collapsed house with an Israeli bulldozer outside. With six to a room, your job will be to prevent the bulldozer from knocking over the house. At unpredictable times during the night the bulldozer will start up, and then you will be expected to run out of the house, screaming and waving your hands while shouting political slogans at it. The bulldozer will then usually stop. If it does not, you will be expected to lie in the mud while contemplating the geopolitics of the whole thing.

Sometime during the night, men will come through the tunnels in the house carrying mortar rounds and IEDs. You will be given 15 minutes to pose for pictures with them. These will look really good on your Facebook page, and your friends who went skiing or to build homes in Africa will be really jealous.

After three days of this, all while drinking stale water and eating old pita, you will be able to say you participated in the revolutionary struggle against Zionism. You may even get a Ph.D. thesis out of this, or at least a foreign correspondent post with Time magazine, which means you will be able to do this sort of thing full time. And even get paid for it.

The Alice Walker Excursion: You are a very deep person. People tell you this all the time, even when you don’t prompt them. Often you wish you’d been born earlier so that you could have participated in the great protest movements of the past.

In your deepest self you hate Israel, Coca Cola, nuclear power, country music, organized religion, people who don’t recycle, and Republicans, in no particular order.

You leave on a boat from somewhere. Probably Mexico. Maybe Turkey. It’s still too early to tell. The boat will not be very good. It will lack a toilet. Occasionally you will have to row. On this cruise you will rub shoulders with authors like Alice Walker and Henning Mankell. If you are not abducted by Somali pirates, you should be approaching the coast of Gaza in 6-8 weeks. Possibly more if you took a wrong turn around Australia or Atlantis.

If your captain is not excessively stoned, he will successfully run the boat aground on the Gaza coast. You will be given one hour to pose for photographs with authentic Hamas terrorists and even hold their weapons. If you do not yet have a keffiyah, one will be provided for you.

After this, you will be arrested by the authorities for illegal entry. You will be given 15 minutes to be photographed struggling with them in heroic poses. If your poses are not heroic, it’s your own fault.

Daniel Greenfield

Crossword Puzzle – Bad Guys

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

 

Across

1. Sprint competitor

4. Like a boat with no power

10. A Young Israel

14. Gun org.

15. Detector

16. Outside eatery

17. Rasha executed on July 17, 1918

20. Double reed woodwind instrument

21. Used Ivory

22. One from Sana’a

25. Bro’s kin

26. Yom Kippur, e.g.

29. Rasha executed on May 31, 1962

33. Iranian currency

34. Fusses

35. Rasha executed on May 2, 2011

41. Once follower

42. 1/24

43. Rasha executed on April 9, 2003

49. ___ mode

50. Dangerous squeezer

51. Attempted

54. Put into Word again

57. Done

58. Rasha executed April 28, 1945

63. Amongst

64. Blew out

65. Very long time

66. Execution items for 17, 35 and 58-Across, or black shapes on the sides of this puzzle

67. Convinced

68. Droop

 

Down

1. Irk

2. Dan or Levi, e.g.

3. Third largest city in Washington

4. Japan’s largest active volcano

5. Marina ___ Rey

6. Genetic letters (pl.)

7. That ___ ___ cool!

8. ___ ___ long as ___  can remember….

9. Hot and humid locale

10. Large number (often pluralized)

11. Solo of note

12. ET mode of transportation

13. Asher of literature

18. Pay attention

19. Material for airy tzizit

23. Cheers! call

24. Mother of Remus and Romulus

26. Miami star

27. Soon, to the bard

28. ER workers

30. ___ Five

31. Former Secretary of State Root

32. Nuts

35. October birthstone

36. Pop or fountain

37. Also

38. Not yesses

39. Big drinker

40. 51, e.g.

41. Chant at the Mets vs. Phillies game on May 1, 2011

44. Assist

45. Car needs

46. Place for farm food

47. It might be graven

48. Nations’ warships

52. Italian city and province

53. Circular gasket

54. Ousts

55. Sneaker cat

56. Athletic award

58. Grocery freebie

59. Aussie bird

60. 90’s rock palindrome (abbrev.)

61. View

62. Unlike 2

 

The Crossword puzzle appears on this page the first week of every month.

(Answers, next week)

Yoni Glatt

Crossword Puzzle – Famous Jewish Websites

Friday, November 5th, 2010

Across

1. Fool

4. Talking flyer

9. Woodwork tool

12. Keats’s work

13. If ___ ___ say ___ myself

14. Fool

16. Social website for a frightened prophet?

19. Containers for Noah and Indiana Jones

20. Mr. Blue Sky band

21. Airport letters

22. Music website for an Amora?

28. Eve, once

31. Bar or bath

32. Rcp. amount

33. Tokyo, once

34. Flammable clothing, in a rhyme

36. ___ off

40. Long time

41. That gal

42. Fugitive locale

45. Columbus or W. End

46. Pet annoyance

48. Datan or Aviram, once

50. Title for an important 1 of 100 (abbrev.)

51. Mai __

54. Female avodah zarah figure of Egypt

55. Attempt

56. Video website for a fruity day

61. Allows

62. Can metal

63. Sandwich or Sussex

67. Search website for a rebellious kohen?

73. Unlocks

74. Boxer, to some

75. Former Virginian general

76. Anger

77. Where many Pharaohs can be found

78. Common Yellowstone fauna

 

Down

1. Sitting site

2. Costume month

3. Kiss

4. Smith- Jones sci-fi flick

5. Much ___ About Nothing

6. Corp. big shot

7. Pose

8. Interested bachelor

9. Happening

10. Kiddush liquids

11. Detest

14. Job in Hebrew (et. al.)

15. Type of Asian cuisine

17. 6th sense

18. Digs

23. Middle-Eastern serpents

24. Boat builder

25. Hamlet’s kinsmen

26. Choose

27. Many a NYC address part

28. Great Barrier ___

29. Sacreligious rocker Billy?

30. T or Funny

35. Saul Hudson, now

37. Direction to daven, when in New York

38. Eternity word before and after “and”

39. Disavow

43. Tel or Nofei

44. ___ Verde National Park

47. Sprint alternative letters

49. Airport code in Portugal

52. Cars

53. Bibliography abbreviation

56. Stringed toy

57. Kosher animal with stripes

58. Groomsman

59. Make into law

60. Party drink?

64. Competent

65. Film spool

66. Rosh Hashana vegetable

68. The loneliest number

69. Founder of the People’s Republic of China

70. A limb

71. Kernel place

72. Amazing Race network

 

(Answers, next week)

Yoni Glatt

Crossword Puzzle – Prime Numbers

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

 

Across

1. 1

6. 2

11. Cheat

14. Dramatic or situational

15. Boat for an Eskimo

16. Fib

17. Primitive

18. Actress Jessica

19. Get a wrinkle

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20. Norse prose

21. Famous Italian Mount

22. Extinct Russian

23. 3

25. Setting for this puzzle

28. Car part

31. It is charged

32. 4

33. 5, 7

38. Mine output

39. Curie of note

40. Williams who could really hit

42. 6

45. Like one in exile

47. Santa ___

48. 8

49. Puts forward

52. Noah’s Ark, e.g.

53. 9

54. 10, 12

56. Major European river

60. Consumed

61. One to respect

63. 11

64. What you might call a dog

65. Gazes at

66. See 68-Across

67. Ambulance letters

68. With 66-Across, The referrals to the “Primes” in this puzzle

69. Almost

 

Down

1. Have a meal

2. Israeli desert city

3. Not occupied

4. Like many of the claims made against Israel

5. Color

6. ___-vitamins

7. Known Sultanate

8. Holiest of “hills”

9. Old witch

10. Get by

11. Doughnut feature

12. 3.5?

13. Equal

21. Second first name

22. Hyperbolic function for tangent

24. Letters to make “mors” more loving

26. Shoe fitting

27. Eden ___

28. The arrogant have a large one

29. Cheers cheer

30. Joy

33. Uh huh

34. Anger

35. Tiny or The Tool Man

36. Big bad bomb

37. Gambling game

39. Test for a doc. to be

41. Hamlet’s homeland (Abbrv.)

43. Tribal leader

44. ___ ledodi

45. One hit wonder band from the 80’s

46. Actual

48. Turf type

49. Important part of Succos?

50. Does as told

51. Major Jewish meal

52. Pop

53. Talking pig of note

55. Not his

57. Fancy auto

58. Drones or killers

59. Anything ___?

61. Tolkien creature

62. Romanian currency

63. Governing party in S. Africa

 

(Answers, next week)

Yoni Glatt

It’s My Opinion: Freedom

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

A boat was intercepted in the Florida Straits on July 13. A surveillance plane spotted the vessel and directed the U.S. Coast Guard to intervene. The boat held a passenger who had fled the island of Cuba.He was parched and exhaustedand was said to have been adrift for weeks. Rescuers were shocked to see that the seven-foot craft was made of Styrofoam.

 

Since the Communist takeover of Cuba, thousands of desperate men, woman and children have flocked to the shores of Florida. Often they risk their lives in homemade and rickety crafts. Some are made of inner tubes tied together with rope. Others are makeshift rafts. One amazing “boat” was an old taxicab that incredibly was set afloat. Desperation seems to have inspired ingenuity.

 

What could drive an individual to make such a perilous journey? What could motivate a human being to put himself through such danger? The answer is compelling.

 

The quest for freedom is a powerful motivator. It can cause people to act in remarkable ways. Throughout the course of time, revolutions and uprisings, revolts and freedom movements have been sparked by this desire.

 

The United States of America was created as a bastion of freedom. The Founding Fathers understood how precious this concept really was. Cubans, as well as people from around the world, are aware of this and that is why they flock to our shores.

 

My family escaped the tyranny of Eastern Europe to come to America in the beginning of the 1900s. They came from shteiblach in Poland and Jewish enclaves in Russian cities. They suffered from state-sanctioned anti-Semitism and stifling government control. They had no prospects of improving their lot. They sought freedom from these injustices. They prospered in this country. Their story is the quintessential American tale.

 

It is quite ironic that without a fight, war or declaration of intent, America’s citizens have given up many of their hard-won freedoms. Without even noticing, freedoms of choice, finances, business and privacy have been compromised, many within the last year-and-a-half.

 

The idea of an all-knowing big government (that caused so many to run away from other countries) has incrementally been introduced here. We have exchanged the American idea of free enterprise, that gave us prosperity, for a bail-out mentality that has never worked in any of the places and times that it has been tried.

 

This seems to be an age that rewards incompetence. The same federal bureaucracy that faces a failing Medicare and Medicaid system has now taken on national health care. The same federal bureaucracy that suffered the debacle of an embarrassing “cash for clunkers” car exchange, now heads General Motors. The same federal bureaucracy that has suffered many breaches of security on its most sensitive computer data has now exposed all Americans to have their most personal and private medical records on a national data bank.

 

It is time to wake up. Freedom is a priceless commodity. The American people need to be aware of how easily it can be lost.

Shelley Benveniste

It’s My Opinion: “Be Careful Of What You Wish For”

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

     Ariel Morales’ long-time wish came true. The 56-year-old Florida resident purchased a sailboat a few weeks ago.  Visions of fun and sun filled his mind.

 

     Recently, Morales went on what he thought would be an enjoyable solo adventure.  He headed to the Florida Keys to do some fishing. He never made it to his destination.

 

      A storm knocked him off course.  The sail snapped.  He ran out of gas.  He floated, lost at sea for five days.  Finally, he washed ashore in Lauderdale-by-the Sea.  Morales’s dream had turned into a nightmare.

 

     The adage to be careful of what you wish for, because it might come true, is an old and poignant warning.  There are countless people who spend a lifetime chasing an idea.  Many times, when the goal is finally met, the result is surprisingly disappointing.  

 

    There are shocking studies involving people who have won big money in various lotteries.  Invariably, they all seem to have come to the same conclusion.  They were better off before!  Apparently, Ariel Morales is not the only one who had his dream come true and then was sorely disappointed.

 

     Mr. Morales directed his boat to be towed to a junkyard.  He declared, “I don’t want it.”  He realized that the thing that he had desired for so long was not a sure path to happiness.

     With the upcoming New Year, it is human nature to make a mental list of the goals we would like to achieve and the dreams we hope to finally attain. Perhaps it would be wise to consider Morales’ experience and really put much thought into what we “wish for.”   

 

      Let me take this opportunity to wish my readers a Shanah Tovah, a Happy, Healthy, and Sweet New Year.  G’mar Chasimah Tovah!

Shelley Benveniste

Do You Know What Time It Is?

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Human nature is such that we tend to procrastinate the attainment of important milestones and goals, such as an education or a shidduch. This is so because we delude ourselves into thinking that we have all the time in the world.

 

But the years have a habit of sneaking up on us, and to our deep dismay we realize that the “boat” we thought was still docked has slipped away. But though we may have missed one “boat” there is always another to be found if we look and try hard enough.


 


Do You Know What Time It Is?


 


Our lives spread out in all directions,


Full of dreams and goals and human connections,


The attaining of which we put off, postpone,


Thinking that time is a commodity we own.


 


The clock goes on ticking, but we don’t hear,


Our world is young, so we have no fear


That the opportunities we have will cease to be,


To us the road is stretched out endlessly.


 


Yes, we have goals to achieve one day,


But what’s the rush, so what if we delay?


We’ll get to it soon; we can afford to wait,


So much time ahead, we won’t be late.


 


We’ll mail that letter; we’ll make that call,


We’ll get down to business, and give it our all.


But not today – why be stressed?


Tomorrow is when we’re at our best.


 


We so easily give ourselves permission


To postpone the work, the effort, the mission.


So with hardly a thought we set aside the task,


The importance of which we eagerly mask.


 


Too late, we come to realize


That while we do nothing, time still flies.


We turn around and there are no tomorrows,


Just unfulfilled dreams, regrets and sorrows.


 


But it doesn’t have to be this way,


Mourning the opportunities we let slip away.


Longing for what never came to be,


Because we couldn’t bother to face reality.


 


For each day bears the gift of a new beginning,


Where one can go from losing to winning;


By valuing our time and putting it to good use,


No wasting, no more squandering, no more abuse.


 


Instead each remaining moment must be treasured,


Used with great thought and carefully measured,


So that goals can be attained and relationships built,


And satisfaction and fulfillment replacing sad guilt.


 


You can’t look back, but you can look ahead,


And end the inertia and move forward instead,


And take those old dreams off the dusty shelves,


For Hashem helps those who help themselves.

Cheryl Kupfer

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/do-you-know-what-time-it-is/2009/06/10/

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