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April 20, 2014 / 20 Nisan, 5774
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Posts Tagged ‘new pope’

Most Stupid Pope Headlines of the Week

Friday, March 15th, 2013

Good morning and welcome to our new series, which should last forever or end by next week, depending on the stars, the cosmos and whether or not I get up early enough:

Here’s a really insightful one:

New pope to bind simplicity with ‘complexity’

Mind you, only the complexity part gets the quotes on either side, simplicity gets by unscathed. Just one question — what the heck does it mean? Is it the same as “New pope to bind thinness with ‘obesity’”?

This one’s from the Guardian:

Pope Francis, first day after election – live updates

How do you deliver on such a promise — live updates on the new pope? Pope had breakfast. Pope meditated. Pope answered the phone. Pope fed parrot. Billions of believers want to know.

Another journalistic jewel from the Guardian:

Dennis Rodman at Vatican as cardinals choose new pope – video

I mean, wasn’t that the first thing all of us were eager to know — did Dennis Rodman make it to Vatican City in time for the announcement? And if so, can it be proven with an authentic video?

The Times of Israel had a calming message:

New pope hopes for ‘renewed collaboration’ with Jews

Because, let’s face it, the old collaboration against Jews was no fun at all.

This one, from Reuters, is rather colorful:

New pope? Unbelievers shrug, carp, titter

When was the last time you had a good carp? And why didn’t those unbelievers cod, or, better yet, snapper?

This AFP headline could be read wrong on so many levels:

New pope pays homage to Virgin Mary on first outing

Either someone has outed the pope — which was to be expected — or, much worse, someone has outed the Virgin Mary.

And finally, this rather dubious speculation from The Daily Maverick:

New pope, new Chinese president: Who’d win in a fight?

My money is on the Chinese guy — younger and looks to be in better shape.

Jewish Leaders Praise New Pope

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

Jewish leaders praised the new Pope Francis, Argentinean Jorge Mario Bergoglio, and expressed optimism for an improvement of Vatican-Jewish relations after he was elected Wednesday night to replace Pope Benedict XVI.

“We have every reason to be confident Pope Francis I will be a staunch defender of the historic Nostra Aetate, the declaration on the relation of the Church with Non-Christian Religions of the Second Vatican Council, which forever changed the relationship of the Catholic Church and the Jewish people,” said Rabbi Marvin Hier, dean and founder of the Simon Wiesenthal Center

Bergoglio, 76, a Jesuit, was the choice of the College of Cardinals following two days of voting in Vatican City. He is the first pope to come from outside Europe in more than a millennium; reflecting the changing demographics of Catholics, he comes from Latin America.

Rabbi David Rosen, the director of interfaith affairs for the American Jewish Committee, told JTA that the new pope is a “warm and sweet and modest man” known in Buenos Aires for doing his own cooking and personally answering his phone.

As archbishop of Buenos Aires, Bergoglio attended Rosh Hashanah services at the Bnei Tikva Slijot synagogue in September 2007.  Bergoglio told the congregation that he was there to examine his heart “like a pilgrim, together with you, my elder brothers,” according to the Catholic Zenit news agency.

After the bombing of the AMIA Jewish community center in 1994, he “showed solidarity with the Jewish community,” Rosen said.

In 2005, Bergoglio was the first public personality to sign a petition for justice in the AMIA bombing and was one of the signatories on a document called “85 victims, 85 signatures” as part of the bombing’s 11th anniversary. In June 2010, he visited the rebuilt AMIA building to talk with Jewish leaders.

Israel Singer, former head of the World Jewish Congress, said he spent time working with Bergoglio when the two were distributing aid to the poor in Buenos Aires in the early 2000s, part of a joint Jewish-Catholic program called Tzedaka.

“We went out to the barrios where Jews and Catholics were suffering together,” Singer told JTA. “If everyone sat in chairs with handles, he would sit in the one without. He was always looking to be more modest. He’s going to find it hard to wear all these uniforms.”

Bergoglio also wrote the forward of a book by Rabbi Sergio Bergman and referred to him as “one of my teachers.”

Last November, Bergoglio hosted a Kristallnacht memorial event at the Buenos Aires Metropolitan Cathedral with Rabbi Alejandro Avruj from the NCI-Emanuel World Masorti congregation.

He also has worked with the Latin American Jewish Congress and held meetings with Jewish youth who participate in its New Generations program.

“The Latin American Jewish Congress has had a close relationship with Jorge Bergoglio for several years,” Claudio Epelman, executive director of the Latin American Jewish Congress, told JTA. “We know his values and strengths. We have no doubt he will do a great job leading the Catholic Church.”

Installation of New Pope May Cut Short Obama’s Visit to Israel

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

President Barack Obama may have to cut short his trip to Israel next week if it coincides with the installation of a new pope, especially if he will be an American. With 75 Catholic Americans and archbishops from Boston and New York who are nominees to replace Pope Benedict XVI.

Cardinals failed for the second straight day on Wednesday to elect a new pope.

President Obama probably will not want to miss the opportunity to be present for the sake of a trip to Israel that is filled with low expectations.

The president has publicly promoted the selection of an American pope. In an interview with ABC News that was recorded on Tuesday and aired Wednesday, he told “Good Morning America,” ”It seems to me that an American pope would preside just as effectively as a Polish pope or an Italian pope or a Guatemalan pope.”

Asked if an American pope would feel obliged to take instructions from the president, Obama responded, “I don’t know if you’ve checked lately, but the Conference of Catholic Bishops here in the United States don’t seem to be takin’ orders from me.”

The first round of voting for a new pope failed to proclaim a replacement. The front-runners are from Italy and Brazil.

Lie to your TV

Monday, March 11th, 2013

Late night TV host Jimmy Kimmel sent out a camera crew to ask the man on the street what he or she thought about the new pope.

Of course, there is no new pope, he hasn’t been elected yet, or appointed, whatever is the proper term for the 15 guys in red yarmulkes blowing white smoke out of the Sistine Chapel. But, as it turns out, the man on the street had no trouble whatsoever coming up with well thought out answers regarding the new pope.

Which makes me wonder if why we even bother to report on stuff, when folks can make up their own news just as skillfully as any reporter. They’ve watched so much television and so much news on television, it doesn’t really matter, one bit of news is indistinguishable from another.



Last week, The UN Human Rights Council exonerated Israel and the IDF in many cases in which it was previously alleged that the IDF committed war crimes during the operation.

Our friend Aryeh Savir at the Tazpit News Agency sent us this quote from the report:

“Palestinian armed groups continuously violated international humanitarian law, by launching indiscriminate attacks on Israel and by attacking civilians, thereby disregarding the principle of distinction. The armed groups failed to take all feasible precautions in attacks, in particular by launching rockets from populated areas, which put the population at grave risk. Furthermore, several Palestinians were killed by rockets launched by the armed groups that fell short and landed in the Gaza Strip.”

Now ask anyone in the world who killed those civilians.

So, your TV lies to you, you lie to your TV. It’s a status quo kind of thing, a modus vivendi, a perfect harmony. Everything your media tell you is a lie, everything you know is wrong—but you don’t get upset over it, you just carry on, producing lies of your own.

Remember the kids in the Hans Christian Andersen story who cried: “The emperor has no clothes”? Well, welcome to our new, well furbished, planetary nudist colony. Ain’t none of us got clothes.

Finally, to stretch Marshall McLuhan’s by now ancient statement, “The medium is the message” – na ugh, not any more. From now on, in our lovely colony, there is no message, only a mic shoved in someone’s face, in anticipation of a knowing answer about nothing.

The Mishnah (Sotah 9:15) noted that “The face of the generation is like the face of a dog.”

What I wouldn’t give for a good looking beagle right about now…

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/blogs/yoris-news-clips/lie-to-your-tv/2013/03/11/

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