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Board-certified Miami plastic surgeon and Nose Job Specialist Michael Salzhauer surprised me. He forced me—an instinctive objector to vain mutilation for the sake of some notion of exterior beauty—to reconsider my views on this issue. And he's not cynical, that was another huge surprise. I walked away convinced he means every word he says.
Don't worry, Yitta, I'm not going to crucify you, as you feared. I actually agreed with the gist of your article, which was obviously heartfelt and well-intended. I just want to point out where you crossed a line...
I know I’m going to be crucified, but if the appeal I make below helps even one girl in shidduchim, then it will be worth all the fury and outrage that shall inevitably descend upon my soon-to-be beleaguered head.
What do you have to do as an Egyptian Member of Parliament to earn the nickname Nose Job? Anwar El-Balkimy, of the Salafist Nour Party (that means he's sooo religious, he has one regular prayer rug and a special one for yomim tovim), told everybody he had been beaten and robbed of LE100,000 by thugs on 29 February. But according to Al Ahram, it was later discovered that his facial injuries were caused by cosmetic surgery on his nose.
A Miami plastic surgeon decided on an innovative way to reach the market of nose job enthusiasts – young Jews ages 15-30 – and have fun doing it. He hired the Groggers, an up and coming Orthodox rock band, and traded a nose job for their hilarious Jewish video entermercial "Jewcan Sam." Now the American Society of Plastic Surgeons wants to lower the boom on the guy.