Tag: phone

In most homes, as women prepare to join the Seder (hopefully, somewhat rested), the anticipatory anxiety associated with the "P" word (pre-Pesach angst) is no longer. The cleaning, preparations, shopping and cooking are now a thing of the past. And finally, the Hagaddah's legacy of yetzias Mitzrayim (exodus from Egypt) takes front stage.

What is the Law of Attraction? According to David Steele, the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute, is simply this: Be the partner that you are seeking. Live your life authentically and consciously, knowing the more you express who you really are, the easier it will be to attract a partner who will love you because of who you are, instead of in spite of it.

What is the Law of Attraction? According to David Steele, the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute, is simply this: Be the partner that you are seeking. Live your life authentically and consciously, knowing the more you express who you really are, the easier it will be to attract a partner who will love you because of who you are, instead of in spite of it.

Michal jumped up from the park bench. "I really must go," she exclaimed, making a big production of looking at her watch. "See you, gals."

In the first two parts of this four-part series, we discussed the need to validate someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. Utilizing a Rabbinic illustration, we presented the story of Rav Yochanan ben Zakai when he sat shivah for his son. The focus was on his receiving consolation: why he received comfort from his one student, Rav Elazer ben Aruch, and not from his other four students. Now let us move to a Biblical backdrop as we continue.

How does one comfort an individual mourning the loss of a loved one? What does one say so that the grieving person will feel consoled?

Her tone of voice was no different than usual: demure; calm; in-control. And then she shared with me a couple of ill-conceived statement expressed to her by some "loving" individuals: "Don't think of her suffering as something bad." If she suffers now then at least she won't suffer in The Next World." And the next one, well, that just went over the top (mind you, this communication took place a couple of months after the High Holidays): "It looks like you didn't daven too well this past Yom Kippur."

Truth be told, Hadassah dreaded answering the doorbell. She knew that it was probably a charity collector, and her financial situation was precarious. She had just received a letter from Countrywide Mortgage. If the mortgage on her home in Morristown were not paid by August 12, the house would be placed in foreclosure.

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Have you ever experienced a scenario similar to the following? "My son, Ari (fictitious name) had been making an effort to study so he could get good grades. We arranged for twice a week tutoring in the evening, and that was after a long day at school. He wants to succeed. All children want to succeed. He'd like to see comments such as "great job" at the top of his homework. He'd also prefer having test sheets with fewer red X's and "F's" at the top of his papers (circled for emphasis in the event the "F" goes unnoticed).

I was recently traveling across the United States/Canadian Border. As soon as people heard I would be traveling that way, my phone began ringing off the hook. Friends, and even strangers, called me to ask if I would take packages for them. From a favorite food for someone's daughter, baby clothes for a new grandchild, to a much loved breakfast cereal; the requests came pouring in. But what astounded me the most was the requests from people I didn't know asking me to take jewelry. One person asked if I would take a diamond ring to her son so he could propose. She wanted to send it with me so that it would not be held up for taxes.

There are theories to help explain how change occurs. The Stages of Change Model (SCM), which was introduced in the late 1970s by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente*, has been used to help us understand the mind/body stages we go through when we change. The model also provides us with the sense as to the complexity and chaos involved in the process. With this awareness, there is greater potential for us to generate more patience, understanding and compassion - towards others and towards ourselves - as we navigate the struggles within each stage.

Now that you know how to research companies before an interview, the next step in the process is to present the proper image and be fully prepared for the face-to-face meeting.

A friend of mine called me recently on her way home from a date. It was 11:30 p.m., and she was walking home from the subway, a 20-minute walk from her home. She said that she had a pleasant time, but was surprised when her date walked her to the subway at the end of the evening and said good night at 11 p.m. "Doesn't he realize that at this late hour he should be escorting me home?" she cried.

I was driving home from New York with my family at the end of our vacation when my cell phone rang. Since we were in Tennessee and I wasn't sure if it was legal to talk on the phone, my wife picked it up and said, "Hello."

"What do you mean, 'controlling'? This is called parenting! I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm being responsible. I'm parenting my children the same way my parents parented me. If it worked then, there's nothing to question; it'll work now. Besides, look at me; I turned out okay!"

There is something to be said about hearing a story with a yiddishe ta'am (taste). However, when the context changes, and the cultural inflection and accent are omitted, the panache wanes. Such was my recent experience after having heard a well-known tale modified to suit the eclectic assemblage of the audience. For you, my dear readership, though, I offer the original version as I heard it many years ago (for a deeper experience, as you read the text imagine how these characters would sound and look).

In Part I, a distinction was made between two relationship methodologies, both of which are discussed in Dr. William Glasser's book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. Glasser compares the use of External Control Psychology (i.e., manipulate, punish, criticize, blame, nag, and even reward) to Choice Theory, an empowering model based on an internal system of values, upgrading one's character traits and allowing natural consequences to "police" behaviors.

Thinking back to my childhood years, I recall a "dare" expression one child would bark to another: "Make me; bet'ya can't make me!" I didn't think much about the term back then, other than my associating it with bullying. Today, though, I view it on a more profound level, especially in regard to the parent populace.

Last year on the seventh morning of Chanukah our phone stopped working. It wasn't completely dead; it was still receiving calls and placing outgoing ones. But there was a funny kind of static on the line.

Does the following script resonate with you? Father to mother: "How do you expect him to be frum when you let him to go to the mall? You don't stop him from hanging around with those 'bad' kids." Mother to father: "You're always blaming me! When have you ever learned with him without yelling or putting him down?" "When was the last time you said something positive to him − anything, anything at all?"

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When verbalized in connection with parenting, the idiomatic expression, on the same page, at times, is misunderstood. Some people believe the term implies total agreement where one of the spouses gives up his/her right to disagree on an opinion, decision or direction s/he wishes to follow. In truth, while "agreement" is definitely implied, the undercurrent is one of a supportive nature.

In mid-December, I traveled to Eretz Yisroel with my wife, Chanie, for a twofold purpose. Firstly, I wanted to visit my two children who are learning in yeshivos there. Secondly, in light of the fact that I had assumed the position of executive director of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, I wanted to solicit as many brochos from gedolim as possible, and to pray at kivrei tzaddikim (graves of righteous people).

Many years ago my mother had heart surgery. The procedure was relatively new then.

I recently published a letter from a woman named Mae. Mae could not understand why her mother, Sidney, had difficulty being accountable to her daughter for her whereabouts.

Last week, I shared a letter from a mother who wanted to call the whole compromise off as her children were not holding up their part of the deal.

On October fifth, my article called "Choking on a Short Leash" was in the Jewish Press.

With three sets of three-day Yom Tov/ Shabbat combinations behind us, and a return to "normalcy" and our daily routines, now would be a good time to examine our lifestyle habits - and improve them.

As we age (or as our chronic illness worsens) and every day tasks take longer and becomes more difficult, our desire to remain independent seems to increase.