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7 Tammuz 5778 -
? Wednesday, June 20, 2018


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A Soul Revisited

While working for the U.S. Census Bureau in 1990, I knocked on the door of Soviet ?migr?s in Boro Park and proceeded to converse with them about their recent arrival to the United States. This elderly couple had come from Moldavia. They were survivors of both Nazi and Communist tyranny.

Going Squirrelly

I was writing in my home office, and the back door was open, letting the breeze waft in. It was quiet, except for a loud squawking squirrel outside. In fact, he was so loud that it sounded as if he was in the next room. I stopped typing and unsteadily dragged myself to the dining room door, terrified to open it.

Communicating Effectively (Part IV)

Toxic Language Tishrei -- and the yom tov pattern returns! Of which pattern am I speaking, you ask? If we were to identify the main aspects...

When They’re Least Lovable

"I can't take it anymore!" "What happened? Is the baby teething again? You're exhausted." my husband asked, trying to read my thoughts, over the phone.

Communicating Effectively (Part III)

Recently, I asked a family friend, a financial advisor, to share with me his perspective on the importance of rapport in the world of sales. In a general way, I knew that successful salespeople maintain good rapport with their clients. And so I was curious. Was the need for developing rapport in business any different than doing so in a parent-child relationship? To that end, I posed the following questions: "How do you establish rapport with a new client? And what do you believe is a key issue to creating rapport?

An MRI That Went Awry

I joined the Jewish Press Emunah family four years ago when I wrote about my fall down a flight of stairs while holding my granddaughter. Baruch Hashem, my 16-month-old granddaughter came out without a scratch, but I became paralyzed and needed six months of rehab. Hashem saw fit to save me, and to help me recuperate.

Be Smart, Not Arrogant When Vacationing

The ominous Nine Days, that culminate in the somber day of mournful remembrance called Tisha B'av, will soon begin. Most people in our community have, since childhood, been warned and exhorted to be extra careful and cautious during this period of time. We are taught that these particular days have a history of being especially tragic for Klal Yisrael, with many great misfortunes having taken place over the centuries during this time of year. To that end, for example, despite the oppressive summer heat, we are not allowed to go swimming, since the potential for injury or even death is increased. Traveling is also greatly discouraged, as is any activity that has an element of risk.

Don’t Let Homesickness Spoil Your Child’s Summer

Every summer, all across America, parents put their children on buses bound for sleepaway camp. They wave good-bye, hoping their kids will have a wonderful time, make friends, learn new skills and come home happy and healthy. Hoping, sometimes, that the tears they see as the bus pulls away are just a fleeting show of regret at leaving home.

Communicating Effectively (Part II)

A political figure refuses to comment on a current news story in which he is involved.. In the hope of avoiding a scuffle with her parents, a teenager, who has broken curfew, quietly opens up the front door. As she makes a mad dash to her room, she tries to avoid being noticed and questioned. In both situations, a lack of communication may be perceived as failure on the part of the individual to take responsibility for his/her actions, and/or an admission of guilt. In such cases when the person does not say yes, the message being conveyed to others can be perceived as noby default, and vice versa.

Going Uptown

I was walking down Coney Island Ave. when I saw an old acquaintance eating in a non-kosher restaurant. I wanted to approach him and ask him if he would be interested in putting on tefillin. But I felt hesitant, and wrestled internally to overcome my embarrassment. Finally I gathered enough confidence to enter the restaurant and approach my friend. Greeting him warmly, I gently asked if he would like to put on tefillin. He politely refused and, after a brief conversation, I was on my way.

Choices

In most homes, as women prepare to join the Seder (hopefully, somewhat rested), the anticipatory anxiety associated with the "P" word (pre-Pesach angst) is no longer. The cleaning, preparations, shopping and cooking are now a thing of the past. And finally, the Hagaddah's legacy of yetzias Mitzrayim (exodus from Egypt) takes front stage.

How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Work For You

What is the Law of Attraction? According to David Steele, the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute, is simply this: Be the partner that you are seeking. Live your life authentically and consciously, knowing the more you express who you really are, the easier it will be to attract a partner who will love you because of who you are, instead of in spite of it.

How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Work For You

What is the Law of Attraction? According to David Steele, the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute, is simply this: Be the partner that you are seeking. Live your life authentically and consciously, knowing the more you express who you really are, the easier it will be to attract a partner who will love you because of who you are, instead of in spite of it.

Pesach Cleaning… Early!

Michal jumped up from the park bench. "I really must go," she exclaimed, making a big production of looking at her watch. "See you, gals."

A Validating Experience (Part III)

In the first two parts of this four-part series, we discussed the need to validate someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. Utilizing a Rabbinic illustration, we presented the story of Rav Yochanan ben Zakai when he sat shivah for his son. The focus was on his receiving consolation: why he received comfort from his one student, Rav Elazer ben Aruch, and not from his other four students. Now let us move to a Biblical backdrop as we continue.

A Validating Experience (Part II)

How does one comfort an individual mourning the loss of a loved one? What does one say so that the grieving person will feel consoled?

A Validating Experience (Part I)

Her tone of voice was no different than usual: demure; calm; in-control. And then she shared with me a couple of ill-conceived statement expressed to her by some "loving" individuals: "Don't think of her suffering as something bad." If she suffers now then at least she won't suffer in The Next World." And the next one, well, that just went over the top (mind you, this communication took place a couple of months after the High Holidays): "It looks like you didn't daven too well this past Yom Kippur."

The Dreaded Doorbell

Truth be told, Hadassah dreaded answering the doorbell. She knew that it was probably a charity collector, and her financial situation was precarious. She had just received a letter from Countrywide Mortgage. If the mortgage on her home in Morristown were not paid by August 12, the house would be placed in foreclosure.

Who You Calling Lazy?

Have you ever experienced a scenario similar to the following? "My son, Ari (fictitious name) had been making an effort to study so he could get good grades. We arranged for twice a week tutoring in the evening, and that was after a long day at school. He wants to succeed. All children want to succeed. He'd like to see comments such as "great job" at the top of his homework. He'd also prefer having test sheets with fewer red X's and "F's" at the top of his papers (circled for emphasis in the event the "F" goes unnoticed).

Avoiding Taxes, At All Costs?

I was recently traveling across the United States/Canadian Border. As soon as people heard I would be traveling that way, my phone began ringing off the hook. Friends, and even strangers, called me to ask if I would take packages for them. From a favorite food for someone's daughter, baby clothes for a new grandchild, to a much loved breakfast cereal; the requests came pouring in. But what astounded me the most was the requests from people I didn't know asking me to take jewelry. One person asked if I would take a diamond ring to her son so he could propose. She wanted to send it with me so that it would not be held up for taxes.

The Process Of Change (Conclusion)

There are theories to help explain how change occurs. The Stages of Change Model (SCM), which was introduced in the late 1970s by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente*, has been used to help us understand the mind/body stages we go through when we change. The model also provides us with the sense as to the complexity and chaos involved in the process. With this awareness, there is greater potential for us to generate more patience, understanding and compassion - towards others and towards ourselves - as we navigate the struggles within each stage.

Image And Preparation: Two Critical Keys To Success

Now that you know how to research companies before an interview, the next step in the process is to present the proper image and be fully prepared for the face-to-face meeting.

The Case For Manners In Shidduchim

A friend of mine called me recently on her way home from a date. It was 11:30 p.m., and she was walking home from the subway, a 20-minute walk from her home. She said that she had a pleasant time, but was surprised when her date walked her to the subway at the end of the evening and said good night at 11 p.m. "Doesn't he realize that at this late hour he should be escorting me home?" she cried.

Not For The Faint-Hearted

I was driving home from New York with my family at the end of our vacation when my cell phone rang. Since we were in Tennessee and I wasn't sure if it was legal to talk on the phone, my wife picked it up and said, "Hello."

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