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October 2, 2014 / 8 Tishri, 5775
At a Glance

Posts Tagged ‘Rachel Chronicles’

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Friday, February 10th, 2012

Dear Rachel,

My friend reads your article the minute The Jewish Press is delivered to her house. Maybe you can knock some sense into her.

She is the one who lost a ton of weight, looks great and is seeing this loser psychopath for nearly three years already. Rachel, he is a married man! When will she realize that he is just taking her for a ride? This conniving two-timing individual has no intention of marrying her. If he would, he would have divorced his wife years ago!

I’ve heard all about him from my friend who tells me constantly that his “crazy wife” doesn’t want a divorce. Rachel, it’s a man world. If he would really want a divorce he could simply give his wife a “get” or get a legal divorce. But he doesn’t want one. He hasn’t even been employed for over ten years; why would my friend believe he will start working at the ripe age of fifty?

My friend once confided in me that her parents would kill her if they found out she is dating a married man – and one who is jobless yet. She gets nothing from him. She is wasting her precious time. He’s never even given her a piece of jewelry to intimate in the slightest that he is interested in marrying her. She allows herself to be used by him financially and in every other way. She even cooks suppers for him.

He is a cheap, disgusting, lowlife of a man. She realized initially that he lied when he was seeing a different woman while he was dating her! Another lie that she caught him in is that he didn’t tell her he is married. If I would be her I would call up the lawyer that he claims to have retained and see if he really did retain him.

He told her he went away to a hotel for Pesach. Did she confirm that by calling up the hotel? Did she confirm that he went by himself? He tells her he lives in a basement — really? A 50-year old man all alone in the basement? A man who has a history of lying and cheating? I would have run the other way, but my friend obviously has no self-respect; otherwise she wouldn’t have allowed him to sleep over at her house every night.

She keeps on hoping that he will marry her. Why doesn’t she give him an ultimatum? Either get divorced tomorrow or you are out of my life for good! You know why? Because deep down she knows that he will run out of her life and disappear. Even her daughter saw through this man and warned her mother about him way back at the beginning, but she wouldn’t listen.

A frustrated friend

Dear Frustrated,

Your friend may be a reader of this column but chooses to close her eyes and ears where she is concerned. You wrote two years ago in a similar vein (your letter appeared in the first column of the year 2010), but apparently the subject of your frustration chose to ignore the counsel offered then. It is very difficult to help someone who refuses to be helped, but let’s take another shot at it.

My dear woman: Understandably, it is immensely difficult to tear yourself away from the attention and the company that you’ve grown so accustomed to. It’s almost like getting hooked on a drug. Whenever he is with you at your side, you feel like you’re on a high.

Deep down you know he is using you, but you simply don’t allow yourself to face reality. You dread the pain of letting go and of confronting the emptiness that would follow. But in actuality, my dear, your life is empty now. In reality, your relationship is void of any real fulfillment and is a sham. Here’s the proof: Had it been real love and genuine caring, you’d have had a ring on your finger by now.

The truth may hurt, but the fact remains that you are simply his mistress, his pastime and one he uses at his whim. Besides, considering his track record, he is not likely to make you a very good husband. Not very solid husband material – considering how perfectly comfortable he is leading a double life and cheating on his wife. Ask yourself if this is really the type of man you would want as a husband.

Your friend is right. Had he wanted to divorce his wife, he’d have done so by now. Yours is a relationship that is headed nowhere, and for as long as you continue to serve his needs he has no reason or motivation to change a thing.

The best thing you could do for yourself is to free yourself of him. In the least, you should be giving him a chance to prove us wrong. Consider packing your bags and treating yourself to a vacation away from him, someplace where you would be putting a substantial physical distance between you.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Dear Rachel,

In the early part of December you ran a column by a man who had once been diagnosed as bisexual by a therapist (one apparently unqualified to be one).

It ended up that this poor man had been bullied as a child and had looked up to the strong and tougher kids, yearning to be like them. Sadly, this adoration was interpreted as a gay or bisexual tendency.

I actually write to address the bullying part; to make the public aware that bullying is not only done by kids. Believe it or not, an adult can be devastatingly effective at bullying a child, and parents need to be made aware of this.

Unfortunately, I would know. I am a seasoned mom, baruch Hashem, which makes me keenly aware that each child has his/her own temperament and way of dealing with things. One of my sons happens to be (always was, even as a toddler) an extremely sensitive child. He has a heart of mush and cannot stand to see anyone hurting.

For obvious reasons, I don’t wish to give away too many personal details; let’s just say that life doesn’t always unfold according to one’s expectations and hardships of any kind in a family are bound to have some effect on the children.

Our super-bright son took our tough times to heart and let it out in ways that displeased his high-school principal. Before any reader is tempted to jump to conclusions, this is a soft-spoken, somewhat shy teenager who has always been a good kid, both in class and at home. He doesn’t drink, drive, or smoke (anything).

So what is his “sin,” the reader may be wondering. A less than enthusiastic attitude towards subjects he doesn’t have a yen for, and some resistance to matters of religion as defined by minhagim of the community or school (needless to say, a stage many teenagers go through).

As parents, my husband and I recognize our son’s individuality and his super sensitive nature, and our instincts concur with the advice from rabbis and therapists: with patience, love and acceptance he will outgrow this phase.

A red flag went up when our son seemed to be developing a chronic aversion to going to school. It seemed that the principal had taken to “picking on him” relentlessly, for no good reason. At first we were inclined to believe that if a respected person of authority had some beef with a student, it would most likely be warranted; after all, a student can’t simply do what he wants on the school watch.

Gradually, however, it became clear that our son was being hounded and bullied on a consistent basis, to the point where he was begging us to transfer him to a different yeshiva. Suffice it to say that he was mercilessly teased, subjected to attempts to “trip him up” (unsuccessfully) and was senselessly singled out for drug testing. (Nothing panned out of course, for as I indicated earlier, our son is squeaky clean.)

As a mother, my heart ached for the torment he was suffering. The final straw came when we discovered that this principal had badmouthed our son to a new kid in the neighborhood who was advised to stay away from him.

That did it. I knew that if we didn’t put a stop to this craziness, our son would be “tripped” chas v’sholom right off the derech. To make a long story short, my husband and I arranged to meet with those in charge and I got straight to the point. Confronting this “person of authority” I minced no words in letting him know that his modus operandi was a highly dangerous one and a complete contradiction of a school’s desired objective. There was a lot of denial on the other side, but I wasn’t letting up.

Fast forward, I am happy to say that my son has since undergone a total transformation. Today he goes to school eagerly, gets straight A’s and has stopped pestering us to place him in another yeshiva. To his credit, the principal took my words to heart. Evidently realizing the colossal error of his way, he has embraced our son and taken to treating him like one of his own. My son is basking in the adulation and is committed to prove himself worthy of the attention.

Rachel, as I am writing this letter it occurs to me that many parents tend to believe the “school” instead of their child. This is not to say that there aren’t kids who misbehave. But parents whose children are sullen and unhappy must make it their business to look into why this is so. Some children need to be prodded, and some parents are seen by their children as being “too busy” to be bothered.

The bottom line is that parents who care about their children need to be tuned into them and should always play it safe when something doesn’t seem right. It will never hurt to pick up a phone and make that call to try to straighten things out.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/15/11

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Dear Rachel,

I am an avid reader of your column and feel it has offered me the type of education I couldn’t receive anywhere else and will be of enormous benefit to me down the line. I am probably also not your average reader as I am only seventeen years old.

In case you’re wondering, my parents are okay with my reading your column (which I’ve been doing for some time now), because they are of the opinion that in today’s world ignorance poses a greater threat than being informed, especially on issues that may affect any of us, at any time.

I find that my peers who are not given the opportunity to be enlightened in the same way I am tend to pick up bits and pieces of information on the streets or on the web, which often end up either distorted or confusing. If I ever had any questions about something I’ve heard or read, I felt comfortable asking my parents for clarification or their opinion.

The reason I am writing to you now is because of a fear that’s taken hold of me and seems to be intensifying with time rather than letting up. Yes, I have confided the fear to my mother who is of the opinion that it is a passing phase that will become a non-issue as I mature.

Since your column deals with all sorts of dilemmas and I have a high regard for your viewpoints, I was curious to know how you would handle my problem. I am almost embarrassed to reveal that I am afraid of having children. No, it’s not the pain of childbirth that scares me, but the fear of bringing children into this crazy world.

Whenever I see a small innocent child, I find myself feeling sorry for him or her having to grow up in a world that is rampant with anti-Semitism, corruption, violence, and the very real threat of terrorism hanging over us.

Somehow I don’t recall things being this bad when I was younger, or maybe I just didn’t think ahead or too deeply into things. Today’s climate, however, is enough to make a seasoned adult afraid of his or her own shadow.

Is there any advice you may be able to offer me? I’ve admired your insight on a wide range of topics for a while now and thank you in advance for taking the trouble to address my anxiety.

Fear for my (future) children Dear Fear,

To begin with, I can assure you that there are others who share your fear, albeit to different degrees. One can hardly help but feel for the defenseless infants and children who are so trusting in their wide-eyed innocence, and who will need to grow up and learn the harsh truth: there is cruelty and insanity in our world and we must tread cautiously to keep ourselves out of harm’s way.

Luckily, those of us who believe that there is a G-d running the world are halfway there. Much of the rest of the way is paved with a combination of trust (in a Higher Power) and exertion (hishtadlus). It is not enough to believe that He Who placed us here is singularly competent at protecting us — we are also expected to put in wholehearted effort in order to prove ourselves worthy of His divine guidance, by, for example, choosing good friends as well good neighborhoods to raise our children in. You are a savvy young lady who obviously recognizes that the divine privilege of bringing a child into the world comes with an awesome responsibility: the caring for and nurturing of another being totally reliant on you for all of its needs.

In the same way your parents have been there for you and continue to guide and ready you for the time when you will be off establishing a home of your own, you will be there for your own children, G-d willing.

Take your mother’s words to heart — as you grow and mature, your developing natural instincts will help you overcome your fear. And when you will link up with your other half, hopefully in the near future, you will share your fears and joys with your life-partner, which will automatically make your load much lighter.

Finally, remember that each of us placed here on earth has a divine mission to fulfill, our success to that end contingent on following in the footsteps of our parents and ancestors. To perpetuate our legacy and rich heritage for the next generation, we were given the divine commandment of “pru urvu” – to be fruitful and multiply, and were thus imbued with a natural longing for offspring.

Most everyone’s aware that physical maintenance requires eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. But what about sustenance for our souls? Birchas Ha’Shachar (morning blessings) are a minimum requisite for starting our day off on the right foot, as is Krias Shema (bedtime prayer) for promoting an untroubled night’s sleep. These are natural relaxants and powerful antioxidants for our neshamos. Nothing is as reassuring as placing our trust in Hashem and letting Him run the world.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/2/11

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Dear Rachel,

Why would I even think of arguing with my therapist who had a doctorate in psychology? So having been told I was bisexual, I spent a number of years believing that I would be an outcast in the community until my dying day. I tried to keep this a secret and wondered how I could live the rest of my life in peace.

And then things changed. Not overnight — it took months. I switched to another therapist who had a very different approach to working with gay/bisexual clients. She homed in on the fact that for as far back as I could remember I hardly had any true friends and was often bullied by the other boys, which made me feel like I was some sort of outsider who didn’t belong.

I came to the realization that I was usually attracted to boys who were popular, well liked, and unafraid of others — in other words, everything that I was lacking. And when I say lacking, I refer to feeling empty and worthless inside. I hoped that whatever it was these boys had would rub off on me, and then maybe I would stand a chance at being a normal guy.

My father and I had a good relationship, but what I really needed all those years were real friends who would accept me for who I was. I never had those. My father couldn’t put a stop to the bullying, and I had a fear of going to school. To this day I wonder what would have happened if maybe I had switched schools or had a best friend who accepted me, or I hadn’t been told by my old therapist that I was bisexual and that there was nothing I could do to change that – maybe things would have been different.

Today I thank Hashem that I am happily married, and I daven for those who are still suffering, feeling alone and misunderstood. I know that pain too well, and I wish the community would understand that while gay and bisexual people struggle with a very difficult nisayon, they are still people. They didn’t ask to be this way.

Respectfully yours…

 

Dear Respectful,

Your sad story can serve as a valuable lesson to many a lost soul and corroborates the view that same sex attraction (SSA) can manifest itself as a result of adverse life situations a person may find himself in.

Lacking confidence in your own worth, you looked up to the strong and confident type whom you idolized and wished to model yourself after. In some cases, a boy estranged from or suffering the loss of his father craves that father/son relationship and may find what he seeks in another male he deeply admires — and then is led astray by mistakenly attributing this fondness to a penchant for SSA.

You were fortunate to have sought and obtained the opinion of another therapist who wisely pinpointed the root of your problem rather than ascribe it to the hype so widely and crudely disseminated in our day, much to the detriment of our misguided youth.

Those who suffer and struggle as you have should take a cue from your story and work on uncovering the true origin of their feelings. The recipe for success needs to incorporate a genuine desire to lead a Torah way of life and sincere prayers to Hashem for His guidance.

Thank you for sharing. Your empathy for others in pain is most praiseworthy.

An article of interest recently published in Ḥakirah, the Flatbush Journal of Jewish Law and Thought, comes to our attention just as this column is being readied for publication. Authored by Dr. Joseph Berger (a Toronto based noted psychiatrist with extensive practical and teaching experience), the piece addresses the complexities as pertain to a controversial statement on homosexuality released last summer by a select group of modern orthodox rabbis.

The following are brief quotes from the article that are relevant to this week’s column:

Scientifically it should be clear that what an adult says about his or her sexual thoughts and inclinations as a small child may be dubious and not scientifically valid…regarding the scientific aspects of homosexuality, a proper understanding of the literature demonstrates that there is no solid scientific basis for supporting a claim of a biological origin for homosexuality. Neither is there scientific support for any notion that anyone is born homosexual.

It is quite possible that tendencies may develop at an early age…claims of over-controlling mothers and under – or noninvolved fathers failing to set an adequate male role model, have been forwarded as major psychological contributing factors to the development of homosexual fantasies, needs, wishes and behaviors in men… there is also good clinical evidence based upon numerous published studies showing that significant numbers of people who have previously labeled themselves as homosexual can become comfortably heterosexual with good psychotherapy.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 11/18/11

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

Dear Rachel,

Right before the holidays you printed a letter about children who disrupt the adults and the davening in shul (Chronicles 09-30-2011). The subject reminded me of parents and children who can be a source of irritation as guests in one’s home, where they show a flagrant disregard for their hosts.

My husband and I rarely spend Shabbos or Yom Tov without company. We delight in having others join us. However, there is this one couple who have begun to unnerve me, and that’s saying a lot since I am known to be a very patient, tolerant and giving person.

Let me explain. The mother displays total nonchalance when her son sticks his fingers into all the foods on the table. This toddler also gets a thrill out of tossing our children’s toys around until the place looks like a hurricane visited. For good measure, he is fond of pushing our furniture about as though they were miniatures of a toy set.

We actually consider ourselves fortunate when it’s only a mess these people leave behind. We were once left with a gaping hole in a treasured piece of furniture in our living room.

The apologies forthcoming are weak to none. It’s almost as if they are saying, “We put up with this all the time in our home, so be grateful you get it for only this short period of time.” They (the parents) don’t seem too bothered by all of this, as though it were simply a natural part of their day.

My husband says we have no choice but to grin and bear it, and truthfully I have a hard time not letting them have a piece of my mind. I do realize they must have their hands full. Our children are angels in comparison, but I worry at times that some of this kid’s antics will rub off on them.

Please don’t tell me not to invite them; our guests are told the first time they visit or come to dinner that they have an open invitation and only need to let us know they will be coming.

I’m just puzzled as to how parents can sit back and allow their youngster the run of someone else’s place. Is there a tactful way to tell these people to rein their kid in and to let them know that we’d rather not have permanent reminders of their visit?

When this couple calls to say they’ll be over for dinner, I don’t exactly jump for joy. Would you?

 

My feathers are ruffled  

Dear Ruffled,

Can’t really say I blame you for feeling the way you do. It’s always frustrating to see a child undisciplined, especially on your turf and at your expense.

These parents must certainly have their hands full. But one must wonder what came first, the chicken or the egg — meaning to say, is the child unruly simply because the parents are lax and have been letting him get away with too much for too long now, or is he a wild child by nature?

Let’s face it: all kids are not created equal. There are children who are born mild-mannered, and there are little terrors who can’t sit still, to put it mildly.

From your letter, it would seem that this couple has only this one child. That could be one reason he is being spoiled. Still, it must be said that parents who do not stop their children from poking their fingers into other people’s food are ill-mannered and unskilled at parenting.

Regardless of how defiant a child may be, it is the duty of the accompanying adult to make sure that he or she does not destroy other people’s property. What’s more, these parents should see to it that their son places all the toys back where they were originally found.

And whether it means sweeping the floor or wiping a high-chair tray clean, parents should step in to fill in for their child who may be too young or incapable of handling the chore. If a piece of furniture sustains damage through their child, the parents should offer to pay for its repair.

If the child cannot be reasoned with to behave, the parents should stay home and seriously consider taking parenting classes and/or having their child visit a health-professional to recommend a form of therapy suited to this child’s special needs. If they must come for dinner, they should take their leave soon after the meal is done.

The next time this family shows up, try using your own child as a model to learn from. For instance, as the children get ready to join the adults at the table, you can take your toddler by the hand and say sweetly, “Yossi knows we don’t touch any food at the table with our fingers…”

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 11/04/11

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

Lonely at the Core revisited

(Chronicles July 22; column’s response July 29; readers’ views Aug 19, Sept 2 and Sept 23)

Regular readers will surely recall the woman who bitterly lamented her husband’s skirt-chasing ways over their many years of marriage. The letter below was written by a male reader in response to a commentary that appeared in the September 23rd column, which began as follows:

I am a male who, upon reading the article about the husband who likes the company of other women, thought the story had more holes than a rice strainer. How can any human (male or female) dwell for so long in the same hostile environment with a cheating spouse and endure this kind of torment and agony — and all of a sudden, out of the clear blue, decide she’s had enough, just because she married off all of their children...”

The above and the following letter refer to the one written by Lonely at the Core – whose husband’s main focus in life seemed to be centered on the entertainment he sought and found outside of his marriage.

 

Dear Rachel,

I am also a male and agree that this story is full of holes. You only heard the woman’s side of the story, so how can you possibly have advised her to follow her heart and seek a divorce? Interestingly, in the same issue of The Jewish Press and in subsequent ones, columnists warned of the terrible effects of divorce on the wife, her social life, her family life, and the lingering effects on children and grandchildren.

I would ask the woman the following questions:

1. Have you started taking a medication, underwent menopause, or started a diet program that is having an effect on your brain chemistry that you don’t even realize?

2. How many times have you had actual physical proof of misbehavior? When was the most recent? (She stated this started 35 years ago; I can’t believe after counseling and maturing that the husband is continuing the same behavior with the same consistent frequency.)

3. Has your financial situation improved such that you can take half the assets and do what you please? Would you still consider divorce if you got nothing? Is it the money talking, or is it truly your heart?

4. Are you talking to close friends that have bad marriages and perhaps internalizing their tzoros as your own?

5. Do you have too much time in the day, i.e. you are not working and not busy with children, such that this takes up your entire existence and are therefore magnifying issues and over reacting? Are you constantly checking his whereabouts, emails, phone records, work colleagues, and doing it all behind his back — and finding nothing?

6. Do you overly criticize your husband, creating a distance between you? Do you smile at him? Do you laugh with him? Do you thank him when he does something good? Do you apologize when you do something wrong? Are you ever wrong? Do you accept an apology or just launch into another diatribe? When you have an argument do you bring up every wrong that he ever committed or just focus on the disagreement at hand?

7. Do you have difficulty forgiving anyone who has hurt you, including friends, co-workers, bosses, parents, or your children? Do you remind people of the wrong this one or that one did to you, even if it was years ago?

8. Have you physically changed and feel uncomfortable with your appearance, whether it be a weight problem, wrinkles, arthritis or other physical deformity that may have brought on a low self-esteem so that you need appearance compliments constantly? Are you overspending on clothes, makeup and sheitels? Do you own more than 5 human hair sheitels? Do you have more than two closets full of your better clothes and gowns?

9. Do you understand what love and commitment really mean? Don’t confuse these terms with marital relations and inertia.

Honest couples’ therapy is a better choice than divorce if she can’t answer these questions clearly and emphatically as having no bearing on her state of mind today. Otherwise, she is entering into the Sheol Tachtis and dragging her family with her.

I would really like to see this in print to balance the comments and especially your flawed advice. You should have asked a lot more questions of her facts before suggesting divorce.

Still shaking my head in disbelief

 

Dear Shaking,

While you start off making a sustainable argument, the cynical and negative tone of your questions bring to mind the relentless hounding of the prosecuting attorney intent on eliciting a guilty verdict at any cost.

Without having heard both sides, you callously insinuate that this woman suffers from delusion and that her husband’s bad behavior is all in her mind.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 10/28/11

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Dear Rachel,

I am writing this letter in tears. I am a newlywed visiting her parents and am breaking down. Many people do their utmost to make a good impression while their children are dating or engaged, but this facade cannot be maintained forever. In my case, it has collapsed.

My husband and I walked through the door of my parents’ house to be greeted by an avalanche of chaos. There are mattresses, pillows and blankets strewn all over the living room, since the air conditioning is not working upstairs where many of the bedrooms are.

The kitchen is a filthy disaster, coated in grime and cluttered with piles of dirty dishes. When my parents are desperate to clear some space, they move leftovers and dirty dishes to what used to be a functioning guest room — only to have them be forgotten in a cloud of putrid odor.

There is no prepared food; the fridge is filled with rotting leftovers and I am in despair over how to feed my husband. We are not wealthy enough to eat out three meals a day. Cooking is difficult because there is filth covering every available surface near the stove, and other family members crowd around everywhere in a frenzied attempt to fashion a meal for themselves amidst all the chaos.

We are to be staying for several days, yet have no way to do the laundry since the basement is flying with everybody’s belongings, and trying to maneuver a way to get one’s stuff in and out of the washer and dryer causes much territorial tension.

The bathroom has not been cleaned in almost a year, and the shower is covered in mold and mildew. A couple of hours ago my husband stepped out of the shower only to find no towels. With no one around to hear him yell for one, he had to fish one out of the overflowing hamper.

On a more serious note, my father is unemployed and sick, and my mother just had her work hours cut. Since walking through the door, I have had not one conversation with either of them that did not include the mention of sickness, economic doom and gloom, and finger pointing.

My two sisters who still live with the folks are of marriageable age, one in her late 20′s and bitter. It is a strain on my marriage to have to “tone down” my own good fortune of having found my zivug, for fear of provoking the ayin hara (evil eye); this a strain that rests mainly on my shoulders since my husband could care less.

My other sister is married and refuses to visit the folks because the contrast between our family and that of her husband’s is just too humiliating. She once decided to do my parents a kindness and spent $20 on some new, much needed kitchen supplies for them. I know that my sister is not only reading this article, but is certain that it is me writing it — and I hope I am not breaking her heart by revealing that my parents are STILL using the same old grime-encrusted cutting boards!

I came here with my laptop hoping to get some work done, but the wiring in this house is defective and my laptop won’t work. I am writing this in a hurry because my sister will be home any minute and kick me off her computer.

To top it off, my husband is playing the martyr and pretending that everything is okay, while I suffer. I wish someone would give me some sympathy.

Nowhere to turn…

 

Dear Nowhere,

Congratulations on your marriage — to a man apparently able to maintain his cool in the most awkward of circumstances.

Due to the scant details your letter provides, one needs to do a lot of reading between the lines.

Many questions come to mind, such as: Were your parents expecting you? Did you live at home with your parents before you were married? If so, how come you were unprepared for the scenario that greeted you? Have you not been in touch with your parents, or with your two sisters still living at home, lately?

Generally speaking parents delight in having their married children over, especially at holiday time, and it is in the nature of married children to look forward to spending quality time with their parents in the secure comfort of the home environment they grew up in.

Both you and your parents may have started out with the noblest of intentions, but then reality set in — when it was much too late (or too embarrassing) to do anything about it. But look at the bright side: your painful experience may have been heaven-sent.

Be grateful that your eyes have been opened to the fact that your ailing parents are overwhelmed by their own daily needs, let alone the burden and stamina it takes to feed and entertain guests.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-102811/2011/10/26/

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