Tag: Yeshiva Darchei Noam

These lines are written in loving memory of our dear father, Reb Shlomo Zev ben Reb Baruch Yehudah Nutovic, a”h, whose first yahrzeit is 7 Menachem Av. May the positive lessons learned from this essay be a zechus for his neshamah.

All responsible leaders in our community have roundly condemned the recent violence in Beit Shemesh and Meah Shearim.

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A surefire way to gauge the generation in which a person was raised is to have him or her fill in the following sentence: Where were you when ?" Baby Boomers would ask, "When President Kennedy was shot?" Thirtysomethings would respond, "When the space shuttle exploded?" Today's teenagers would reply, "On 9/11?"

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, founder and director of Project YES, an organization dedicated to guiding troubled teens, is trying to put himself out of business.

One week ago on my website I announced my intention to attend the next court appearance of a man who was arrested last year and is now standing trial on 10 felony charges of child abuse.

The brothers of Yosef referred to him as the "The Dreamer" (Bereishis 37:19). And, while the brothers seemed to have used the title in a disparaging manner, Yosef's life was, in fact, inextricably tied to dreams.

Here's our dilemma: We have three teenage children, two girls and a boy, 14-18 years of age. Every Motzaei Shabbos, we have major negotiating sessions with each of them regarding curfew and the appropriateness of the venues they and their friends are looking to go to.

Since the news broke more than a week ago about the arrest by the FBI of a frum, heimishe man in my hometown of Monsey for allegedly doing unspeakable things repeatedly to a girl/young woman closely related to him over a period of many years and spanning three countries, people have been asking me the same question again and again - "Could this possibly be true?"

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Recently, I bought a book on the planets that begins with a description of a 15 billion-year-old world. Can I read that book to my children and discuss with them the fact that there are people (even smart people) in the world who believe this, yet help them understand our belief that the Torah - which is the emes - teaches us that the world is 5,768 years old? I want my children to know that there are people who incorrectly believe this, and I also would like them to hear this from me - and not from someone who doesn't have proper hashkafos. At the same time, I understand that the theory of evolution is not accepted in the Torah world. I hope I am not putting you in an uncomfortable position with this question. Sara

As Bnei Yisroel passed through the land of Ya'azer and Gilad in the "Ever HaYarden" (land East of the Jordan River) they noticed that the land was very fertile and quite suitable for grazing animals.

About eight years ago, I was out walking when our son Shlomie, then 16 years old, called me on my cell phone. He asked me if I heard the news. "What news?" I asked.

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: As the parents of three teenage boys, we are frightened each Purim that our kids will drink heavily and, chas v'shalom, get violently ill - or worse, get hurt in a car crash.

The Torah relates how the Nessiim, the leaders of each tribe, donated the precious stones that were worn by the Kohen Gadol (High Priest) in his priestly garments, the Ephod and the Choshen.

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: We have six children ranging in age from a married daughter of 22 to a son of eight. Baruch Hashem, things are well with us regarding shalom bayis, parnassah and other areas of our lives.

Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

The brothers of Yosef referred to him as the "The Dreamer" (Beraishis 37:19). And, while the brothers seemed to have used the title in a disparaging manner, Yosef's life was, in fact, inextricably tied to dreams.

As Yaakov makes his way back to the land of Canaan, several events - spanning the full range of emotions - transpire in rapid succession.

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our eldest child is in 10th grade at a local Bais Yaakov. She is doing well in school and is generally well-behaved at home. However, over the past year or so, everything we tell or ask her becomes a full-scale negotiating session. It doesn't make a difference what the issue is - curfew, when to do her homework, when to clean her room, etc. It is draining our energy and eroding our relationship with her. Here are our questions: 1. Is this normal? 2. Isn't it disrespectful for children to challenge their parents like this? Neither of us thinks we did this to our parents. 3. Do you have any practical suggestions for us? Names Withheld

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our eldest child is in 10th grade at a local Bais Yaakov. She is doing well in school and is generally well behaved at home. However, over the past year or so, everything we tell her or ask her becomes a full-scale negotiating session. It doesn't make a difference what the issue is - curfew, when to do her homework, when to clean her room, etc. It is draining our energy and eroding our relationship with her. Here are our questions: 1. Is this normal? 2. Isn't it disrespectful for children to challenge their parents like this? Neither of us thinks we did this to our parents. 3. Do you have any practical suggestions for us? Names Withheld

One of the techniques I have found most helpful when mediating disputes between rebellious adolescents and their parents is to give the teenager six or eight index cards, and ask him or her to jot down a request or concession that he or she would like his parents to grant.

Rabbi Horowitz: We have very different views on the issue of having guests over for Shabbat meals.

Rabbi Horowitz: My daughter has confided in me that one of her friends is cutting herself, and she is concerned that her friend may really hurt herself - or worse, chas v'shalom. She made me promise not to tell anyone.

"Eichah yashvah vadad - Alas; she sits in solitude" (Eicha 1:1). The haunting words of Megilas Eichah resonate in our hearts and minds as we prepare to sit on the ground this coming Tisha B'Av and commemorate the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash 1,939 years ago.

In last week’s column, two parents asked how to better motivate their children (a 12-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy) to improve their davening. In the response, we discussed four prerequisites for inspired tefillah – for adults – and some of the ramifications as they pertain to the chinuch of our children.