Your parents spent their lives managing their money, but now it’s becoming clear that someone—probably you—needs to step in. Maybe they’re forgetting bills, maybe their investments are on autopilot, or maybe they never had a real plan to begin with. In any case, waiting until a crisis hits is a recipe for stress, bad decisions, and family drama.
And if you’ve got siblings? Buckle up! Without a plan, this can turn into a never-ending debate over who’s in charge of what. Let’s get ahead of that before your next family gathering turns into a courtroom.
Step 1: Get Clear on What Your Parents Actually Want
Before jumping into their finances, figure out their priorities. Are they focused on leaving an inheritance? Do they just want to make sure they have enough to cover long-term care? If you don’t ask, you’ll assume—and that’s how families make bad financial choices.
A client I worked with assumed his mom’s priority was leaving an inheritance for her kids. After a conversation, he realized her biggest concern was maintaining financial independence. Understanding her goals helped them make decisions that truly aligned with her needs.
Benjamin Franklin said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” In other words, before you start making changes for your parents, take the time to understand their financial situation. Learn about their retirement accounts, taxes, and estate planning so you don’t get blindsided.
Step 2: Divide and Conquer—Play to Your Strengths
If you have siblings, don’t try to do it all yourself. That’s how resentment builds. Instead, split up responsibilities:
- One person manages investments (the one who enjoys analyzing numbers).
- One handles taxes and estate planning (someone patient with paperwork).
- One tracks day-to-day expenses (the one who’s detail-oriented).
I know a family who nailed this. The sister, an accountant, handled taxes. The brother, a natural organizer, kept track of bills. And their third sibling, living overseas, worked with their financial advisor. No one got overloaded, and they stayed in sync.
Step 3: Get the Right Help—Not Every Advisor Will Do
A lot of people assume their parents’ long-time financial advisor is still the best choice. This could be a big mistake. If your parents have U.S. investments but live abroad (or if you live in another country), you need an advisor who knows how to handle cross-border finance.
One family that contacted me after reading an article about taxes on American investments learned this the hard way. Their dad passed away, and suddenly, his non-U.S. citizen spouse got hit with a massive tax bill. If they’d planned ahead, they could have avoided that mess—but their advisor never mentioned it because she didn’t have experience with the nuances of Americans being married to non-Americans. Find someone who understands U.S. and international financial rules.
Step 4: Set Rules Before the Fights Start
Money and emotions don’t mix well. Set clear rules now so decisions aren’t made in the heat of the moment.
Ask yourself:
- Who makes investment decisions?
- How will big expenses—like healthcare—be handled?
- How often will you review finances together?
One family I worked with agreed that any financial decision over $50,000 needed two out of three siblings to approve. That one rule saved them from countless arguments.
The legendary investor Benjamin Graham said, “The investor’s chief problem—and even his worst enemy—is likely to be himself.” Bad financial choices are made when emotions take over. A clear decision-making process keeps things logical, not emotional.
Step 5: Communicate Like Adults
If the only time your family talks about money is during an emergency, you’re already behind. Set up regular check-ins—monthly calls, quarterly meetings, whatever works—to keep everyone in the loop.
I had a client whose dad refused to discuss money. But once his kids started organizing structured conversations, he actually felt relieved. He wasn’t resisting help—he just didn’t want to feel pushed aside.
Act Now to Avoid Financial Stress Later
Managing a parent’s finances isn’t just about the money—it’s about protecting your family from stress and conflict. No one can predict the future, and investments always carry some risk. But when you clarify financial goals, delegate tasks, work with the right experts, and establish a decision-making process, you’ll avoid unnecessary stress and confusion.
If you’re managing your parents’ finances or preparing to take on that role, check out this article on navigating cross-border finances for practical strategies and key considerations.
And remember—waiting until a financial crisis hits forces you into reactive mode. Take control now while you still have time to plan wisely.
Douglas Goldstein, CFP® is the director of Profile Investment Services, Ltd. www.Profile-Financial.com. Securities offered through Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. Member FINRA, SIPC, MSRB, FSI. The opinions expressed are those of the author and not those of this website, Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. or its affiliates. Neither Profile nor Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. or its affiliates, provide tax or legal advice. Nothing in this article is intended to be investment, tax, or legal advice. Information in this article is gathered from sources considered reliable, but we cannot guarantee their accuracy. Past performance is no guarantee of future returns.
