Mayor and City Council
Pruchnik, Rzeszow Province
Dear Mayor and City Council Members,
We were interested in learning that your city beat and burned an effigy of a religious Jew to celebrate Easter. I guess you couldn’t help yourself from blaming Jews for killing Christ.
Regrettably there are no more Jews living in your city, otherwise you might have rounded up a few, locked them in a barn and burned it and them to the ground.
But the Jews who disappeared from Pruchnik are not forgotten, and the few who escaped from their neighbor’s wrath have been recounting their experiences.
They have appointed us to come to your city to repossess the homes, furniture and jewelry that Pruchnikians stole from them.
Our repo-brigades will be supported by F35 stealth fighter- bombers that have all of Pruchnik’s Jew hating targets programmed.
We sincerely hope that our visit will be peaceful and you will return all the stolen property like the pious Poles you are.
Yigal Z. Cohen
Brigadier General, IDF Polish Expeditionary Force