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Abraham and the Three Angels (By Tissot)

Avraham Avinu and David HaMelech. They are both giants of our people, each playing an instrumental role in the development of our identity and traditions. Avraham hears the call of G-d, sets out with his tent to an unknown land, and establishes the covenant with G-d that serves as the foundation of our national identity. King David is a uniting figure, cementing the establishment of the kingdom, and at the same time a person of passionate devotion, who gifted the world with his Psalms and began the process of building a grand palace, a home for himself and the Divine. Each left an indelible mark on our history and tradition, with their actions having a lasting impact on generations to come.

But these two leaders were also very different. This week, the parsha and haftara offer us glimpses into their personal lives, as each of these towering figures approaches his ultimate demise. In these intimate deathbed moments, the elder Avraham and David each focus on the private affairs of the home, and with that send strong messages to future generations. While Avraham does not forsake Yishmael as well as his children born from Ketura, offering them various gifts, it is also in this week’s Torah portion that he ensures that Yitzchak is his true heir through whom the Jewish people will be born. As he takes his last breath, he is surrounded by both Yitzchak and Yishmael, the two sons who quarreled in their youth. In a powerful scene, they join forces to lay their father to rest, tied together by the fact that Abraham had cared for both of them.

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In the haftara, we see that as King David’s age begins to wear him down, he must devote his energy to concerns for continuity. Those with their eyes open could see a power vacuum on the horizon, with Adoniya threatening to seize the throne in place of David. Natan, the prophet, and Batsheva, the mother of Shlomo, approach the elderly king, insisting that the matter of succession be clarified. David then confirms that his heir will be Shlomo, as he had promised. For David, deafening silence on who is to be his successor causes his palace to implode and fractures the unity of the nation he worked so hard to create.

In those moments of truth, Avraham and David were not actively engaged in world-changing projects, yet their concern for their families left an indelible impact. Clearly, concern for family counts. Our legacy lives on through many channels – through our values, our actions, and the ways we nurture family bonds across generations. For that reason, a pathway forward for family continuity is a critical component of our legacy. Avraham strengthens the stakes of his tent through his proactive engagement with his family, while David’s long avoidance of the matter almost causes his palace to collapse.

We, too, mustn’t forsake our children, our family. In the midst of all the energies we dedicate to social change, communal resilience, national solidarity, and more, we cannot lose sight of the day when the end seems near, and we will look around for those who will carry on the torch of our values. If we are not invested along the way in the welfare of our families and the rich and thorough education of our children and grandchildren, many of our accomplishments will be short-lived. For all our outward-facing commitments and engagements, we must nurture our family connections, whether we are physically present or maintaining those bonds across distance. The haftara points out the contrast between Avraham Avinu and David HaMelech, reminding us that engaging our families is the only way to ensure that the values we hold most dear will continue to shape and influence our descendants.

Of course, most of us cannot spend every moment with our families; and for many of us the obligations outside the home, including for the thousands of Israelis honorably serving reserve military duty to protect the nation, are significant demands – and they are themselves profound expressions of family values as we model sacrifice and commitment to principles greater than ourselves.

But even actions or words that do not require much time – like leaving a short note or calling to wish a child good luck on a test, or acknowledging to your children that you know your absence is difficult – can go a long way in making one’s family and children feel loved, in turn deepening respect for the family’s values. The investments we make in our family, through love, communication, connection and values, are the seeds of continuity. No matter who we are, no matter our role in Am Yisrael or in the world, those moments of engagement are important, as they are the moments that will create lasting foundations for our people.


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Rabbi Dr. Kenneth Brander is the President and Rosh HaYeshiva of Ohr Torah Stone, a Modern Orthodox network of 30 institutions and programs lighting the way in Jewish education, outreach and leadership.