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Parents/grandparents who are finding themselves tragically shut out of their children’s lives and who have attempted verbal reasoning to no avail might perhaps consider writing a letter to their children. The written word is far more effective than verbal communication, and a heartfelt letter can speak volumes. Face to face physical confrontation, on the other hand, has the potential of arousing emotions that can rush to the fore and are often difficult to keep in check. As a result, words spoken in anger can worsen matters.

Again, whether one is or is not deserving of his or her painful experience, it is certainly not up to our children to judge whether their derision is coming to us or not. In any case, the adult child who deliberately causes a parent to cry out in pain will be held culpable and accountable for the hurt he or she inflicts on that parent.


Man has an everlasting goal: to seek out peace and pursue it… bakesh shalom ve’radfeihu… Without shalom (peace) there can be no shleimus (wholeness). Let us each pray to Hashem for peace and family harmony and bear in mind that our All-Merciful Creator can effect a positive change in the blink of an eye.


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