It is important to try to focus on what we can give to our spouse instead of calculating what you give and what you must get. This “accounting” system in marriage is unhealthy and will not lead to greater love and closeness in the marriage. We all have different needs in a marriage; however, the most important need we have is to feel validated and appreciated.
I wish you hatzlocha in finding the right words to reach your daughter. If you are not successful, then it would be a good idea to ask your daughter if she would want to see someone to help enrich her marriage. If she does agree to see a professional, maybe you can offer to help pay for the sessions.