Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Dear Dating Coach,

My family is going to a Pesach program this year. They are very excited about the food, the programming…and the singles track that they believe is a “great opportunity” for me. They were furious to hear that I plan to go to another continent for Pesach to a distant relative instead. They believe I am being shortsighted and that I lack the “appropriate appreciation” for the opportunity they are offering me. I am not going. How do I make them leave me alone?


Sorry/Not Sorry


Dear SNS,

My community planned a beautiful event. The flyer looked amazing, the activity looked terrific, and the people going were all wonderful. It was going to be a fabulous night. Every day an event reminder was posted and the excitement grew. Everyone would be there. This was going to be an event to remember. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Miss. This.

I didn’t go. I needed a break and I felt like this was the time to take one. “Best time ever!” my neighbors shared; and I was happy for them and still glad I stayed home. Instead, I used the time to relax and recharge and that was exactly what I needed to do. Not. For. Me.


Be Like Your Phone…

Pesach can be a great opportunity for singles to meet new people. With special events and Pesach programs in abundance, travelers arrive from all over the world, allowing singles to meet other singles they might not have otherwise been introduced to. Pesach can also be a hard time for singles with so much emphasis on children and family. It can be painful and overwhelming; a highlight to what the single is missing. The togetherness might also offer days of unsolicited advice and expectations from family and friends spending yom tov with singles. It can feel like too much.


Take Time To Recharge.

So yes, a Pesach program can be a wonderful opportunity for you to meet new singles. For those who are up for it, it can be a helpful gift in a dating journey. At the same time however, you need a break. You need the time to rest and you need the time away. Instead of feeling bad about that, know that you are doing something important. Recharging and regrouping so you can be a better person, a better daughter, and yes, a better dater. Thank your family for the opportunity and tell them that you appreciate their willingness to help. Yet, you will be away this year, and will miss them greatly. It certainly sounds like a great option, but one you are not ready to accept. Not. For. Me.


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Henni Halberstam is a Dating and Marriage Coach whose expert advice will help you navigate dating and relationships in order to ensure a successful marriage. You can contact her at to schedule a phone session.