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Q: My son is gifted, but he is not doing well in school. Is that normal? Doesn’t being gifted mean that he kind of automatically does well in school?

A: Raising a gifted child? You’re so lucky, right? Actually, sometimes it’s extra hard to raise a gifted child. Celi Trepanier, the author of Educating Your Gifted Child, created a checklist of things to know for people parenting or teaching gifted children. I’ve included what I feel are the top five issues that people should be aware of:

  1. Gifted students do not always excel in school. While many gifted children are high achievers and excel in school, many gifted students are bored, unchallenged, or dealing with co-existing learning disabilities. This means that even though gifted students are very bright, we cannot always expect them to succeed in school.
  2. Gifted children often have emotional intensities. Along with higher than average intelligence, gifted children often have stronger than average emotions. They are often passionate and intense.
  3. Gifted children can be extremely sensitive. That emotional intensity (#2) works hand-in-hand with extreme sensitivity. Children who are gifted can be very sensitive to sensory issues such as smells and sensations as well as negative comments or criticism.
  4. Gifted children can have learning disabilities. Students who are both gifted and have learning disabilities are often called “twice exceptional.” Children can have both above average intelligence and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to Sensory Processing Disorder.
  5. Gifted children can struggle socially. They are not always interested in the conversations or hobbies of their peers and will therefore stand apart from their peers. In addition, sometimes they excessively correct the people around them, leading to resentment and frustration.
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An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at [email protected].