Nevertheless, as Rebbetzin Shain describes in her book, there were many things her friends were allowed to do that she could not. For example, there were no separate beaches in America and Mr. Herman felt it a breach of modesty for his daughters to go mixed swimming. Sitting on the metal fire escape outside her apartment window was not the greatest substitute for refreshing, cool ocean waves, however. While Mr. Herman would not compromise on his religious beliefs, he did try to make things better for her and her siblings. He went to visit then-Mayor Jimmy Walker to request a separate beach! Unsurprisingly, although the mayor was courteous and sympathetic to his request, he would not accommodate him.
Her father’s life, as Ruchoma would often repeat, was all for the “Boss” (his reference to G-d) and his goal at every opportunity, in his determined and unabashed way, was to do whatever he could to sanctify G-d’s name. Not only was separate swimming unheard of, general mitzvah observance, even among the Orthodox, was lax. On his children’s’ wedding invitations he had the printer write, “Ladies, please come dressed according to Jewish law,” an unheard of addition in those days. He also had the printer print up cards requesting that men and women dance separately. And he ordered a big sign reminding people to recite brachos before partaking of the food, signs which Ruchoma proudly held up throughout the dinner so that everyone could see them. All his children, her granddaughter adds, had tremendous respect and love for their father.
As there were no Bais Yaakov schools for girls, Ruchoma attended public school. When it came time for high school, her father searched for an all-girls school. He finally found one that was quite a distance from home and charged a great deal for tuition. Ruchoma was very bright and did very well. The teachers tried very hard to convince her father to send her to college to advance her education. However, Mr. Herman was concerned that it would compromise her Yiddishkeit at that young age and would not allow it. It would be years later, when her children were older, that she went to college and obtained a B.A. in English.
I wonder out loud how Ruchoma would have handled her father’s putting down the law so strongly had she been a young girl growing up 100 years later. “Well, thankfully,” her granddaughter responds, “she did not grow up in the lawlessness of our era and although there were times that she must have been disappointed at not getting to do what she wanted, she would never have thought of disobeying.”
Mr. Herman was involved in RJJ, a boy’s yeshiva on the Lower East Side, and many other institutions, always looking for ways to build up Orthodoxy in America. He instilled in his family his love for the “Boss” so naturally, says a granddaughter, that it was ingrained in his children. His devotion to his fellow Jew was also inculcated in them. Years later, when Rebbetzin Shain and her husband moved to Israel, she would invite seminary girls to join them every Shabbos for the shalosh seudos meal. But it was during the week when she really showed herself to be her father’s daughter. All week, streams of people from all walks of life would visit and share their problems with her, asking for advice or just a listening ear. She spent countless hours speaking with and davening for them. She would tell her family that this was her way of following in her parents’ footsteps.