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The fringe benefits of this change in attitude: For one, it will lead to more shidduchim, because the financial status of a young lady and her parents will no longer play such a huge role in the decision-making process, and more girls from financially moderate homes will be enabled to find a shidduch. Secondly, our down-to-earth daughters will more easily find suitable boys (who will work immediately after marriage or as the need arises).

The reader who concurs with the need for change can copy this article and share it with the mentors of our girls and boys. It is no secret that parents do not have the same authority over their children as they did in the past; children are far more apt to listen to their mentors. Unfortunately, the fallout/ramifications of the decisions of the latter usually end up on the parents’ doorsteps.

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“…Praiseworthy is each person who fears Hashem, who walks in His path. When you eat the labor of your hands, you are praiseworthy, and it is well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the inner chambers of your home; your children shall be like olive shoots surrounding your table. Behold! For so is blessed the man who fears Hashem….” (Tehillim, perek 128)

A Concerned Shadchan

Dear Concerned,

Your concern is well warranted; this problem is as pervasive today as it’s ever been. As a shadchan you are in tune with the way things are in the world of shidduchim and have gained a keen perspective from first hand experience and up close observations. Thus you are able to present a compelling argument for the purpose of promoting the pairing of zivugim and subsequent shalom bayis, harmony and healthy parenting in the Jewish home.

As always, readers are welcome to contribute their views and personal experiences.

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