Over the years, I’ve met countless families living in Israel with substantial assets still sitting in America. They have Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs), trusts, or old 401(k)s —retirement plans offered through past American employers. Sometimes they’re well-managed. Other times, no one’s really sure what’s in them, who’s responsible for them, or how they’ll be passed on.
And the kicker? No one wants to talk about it.
When Families Don’t Talk About Money
There’s a kind of quiet tension that can build up around finances. Maybe you’ve felt it, too. You’re sitting around the Shabbat table, someone brings up “taxes,” and the conversation quickly turns to kugel.
I once worked with a client in Haifa who had inherited a U.S. investment account from her father. The problem? He had never discussed the account with anyone—not even his wife. When he passed away, no one could locate the login information, no one understood the tax situation, and what should’ve been a blessing turned into months of stress and confusion.
That silence was expensive.
Breaking the Ice—Without Causing a Storm
Here’s the good news: opening up these conversations doesn’t have to feel like pulling teeth. You don’t need a whiteboard and spreadsheets. You need a calm moment and a simple question.
Try this: “If something happened to me, would you know what to do with our U.S. accounts?”
It’s not a confrontation. It’s an invitation.
Whether you’re married, divorced, raising kids, or caring for elderly parents, a quick conversation can lead to greater peace of mind. Especially when the accounts are governed by laws and systems on the other side of the world.
Why It Helps to Bring in a Professional
Sometimes it’s not what you say—it’s who says it.
Many families feel more comfortable talking about money when there’s a third party at the table. A cross-border financial advisor can help clarify what’s important, pose questions that might be hard to ask, and gently steer the conversation from confusion to clarity.
I worked with a couple who wanted to include their children in financial planning conversations. They weren’t sure how much to share or how to explain the mechanics of their U.S. accounts. I joined the call, asked a few simple questions, and let the kids ask theirs. By the end, everyone felt informed—not overwhelmed.
It’s Not Just About Wealth—It’s About Wisdom
Talking about money isn’t just about transferring dollars. It’s about passing on values. When you open up about your goals, your fears, and your plans, you’re giving your loved ones more than access to accounts. You’re giving them insight—and that’s what builds financial confidence for the next generation.
If you’re ready to take the next step in preparing your family for the future, don’t miss our article, How to Transfer Wealth… and Financial Wisdom. It’s a practical guide to sharing not just your assets, but your values—because a strong financial legacy is built on both.
This article is for educational purposes only. It is not intended as investment, legal, or tax advice. Please consult with a qualified professional to discuss your specific situation.
Douglas Goldstein, CFP® is the director of Profile Investment Services, Ltd. www.Profile-Financial.com. Securities offered through Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. Member FINRA, SIPC, MSRB, FSI. The opinions expressed are those of the author and not those of this website, Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. or its affiliates. Neither Profile nor Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. or its affiliates, provide tax or legal advice. Nothing in this article is intended to be investment, tax, or legal advice. Information in this article is gathered from sources considered reliable, but we cannot guarantee their accuracy. Past performance is no guarantee of future returns.
