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April 28, 2015 / 9 Iyar, 5775
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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

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As soon as he entered the work force (hurrah!), you – as the partner with the know-how – should have created an account for him, username, password and all, and given him a crash course in how to handle his e-mails.

No need to fret for all is not lost, provided you stop with the suggestions and get right down to business. Opening a new e-mail account is no big deal. Use your imagination to come up with a catchy username as relates to his field and invent a password. Then forward every one of his e-mails from your personal account to his new one, making sure he can access his account directly from your desktop.

I would take things further and get him his own handheld device for his birthday (older version tablets or iPads can be had at bargain prices). Don’t let him fool you, he will love it (all boys do), and best of all he will in no time stop hogging your desktop. Oh, and be sure to tell him he is free to change his password to his liking and preference. If and when he does, you can change yours. Tit for tat, no need to excuse yourself.

Some words of caution: If you have not already installed a kosher filter on your computer, now is the time to do so. However honorable one’s intent for usage, the Internet is a tricky place to be wandering in, especially for a newcomer like a Kollel yungerman who is almost as easily exploitable as, well, little boys.

You might also want to make your husband aware of intrusive e-mails, especially the deceptive kind from foreigners who want to be “saved from Iraq” or who claim to have come into millions in a sudden inheritance but need his help in transferring their suddenly acquired riches out of their country of origin.

As was emphasized in a recent Chronicles column, one should never divulge any private and confidential information via e-mail (such as social security or bank account numbers), let alone to unknown sources.

Another popular scam of late: hackers impersonate genuine account holders, sending out personal pleas to hacked account’s contacts, to the effect of: “Help! Stranded! Traveling abroad and was robbed of all my possessions! Please send money to help me get home!” An address is “conveniently” provided for the innocent dupe.

Never send money before verifying authenticity of e-mail, even if it seems to have been sent by someone as close as your sister or brother.

And no, you are not being unreasonable, though perhaps a bit over-nurturing. Give your hubby some space to grow in and you will soon find yourself with the breathing room you crave – oxygen so vital for the health of every relationship.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


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