Photo Credit: public image/courtesy
Lod, July 13 – Israeli law enforcement officials told Jewish community leaders in this poor, ethnically-polarized town today that it would be easier to keep their property and lives safe if members of the community sewed six-pointed stars in a visible color onto their clothing, preferably with the word “Jew” appearing across the middle of the patch.

Lod Precinct Commander Hukei Nirenberg informed prominent Jewish residents of the troubled Ramat Eshkol neighborhood that police need their help identifying the residents who need protection from their marauding Arab neighbors, and that the Jews who live there can make the police’s job easier by attaching yellow Jewish stars to the fronts of their outer garments to better identify them as Jews. That way, explained Nirenberg, spotting Jews will become a matter of seconds, rather than having to ask around, which can waste precious minutes during an altercation in which a Jew might defend himself.

“One important step your friends and neighbors can take is to wear one of these,” Nirenberg suggested to the the community leaders at a meeting this morning, as he proffered a sample of the patch. “We got a shipment of these surplus from overseas, and it’s much more budget-friendly option than other solutions. As you know, the events of the last several months have strained our resources, so the cost aspect is a significant consideration.”


“You’ll have to sew them on yourselves, unfortunately,” the officer continued. “But that’s always been the way these things are used, from what my staff have discovered. You wear these every time you leave your homes, so it’s clear you’re a Jew, and law enforcement will know exactly the kind of treatment you deserve. We’ll start this as a pilot for the first couple of weeks and see how it goes, to work out the kinks, and then it will become mandatory. By the beginning of August, any Jew caught in public not wearing a yellow, six-pointed star prominently on his or her clothing will face arrest and other penalties.”

Other police officials intimated that additional protective measures for Lod’s Jews will see implementation throughout the summer and fall: moving all the town’s Jews to a confined area with a wall, barbed wire, and armed guards surrounding it; a ban on regular currency within that area, with ration cards and/or specially-printed money valid only there; work details for the Jews of the walled-in protective zone that will depart at specific times under heavy guard; and a council of leaders to mediate contact with authorities outside the Lodz Lod Ghetto.

{Reposted from the SATIRICAL website, PreOccupied Territory}


Previous articleOne Day At A Time
Next articleLook at All the Tiny Little Turtles!
Read more at PreOccupied Territory. Jew Gotta Be Kidding.