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13 Shevat 5779 -
? Saturday, January 19, 2019


Why Have Palestinians Been Ethnically Cleansed From ‘The Flintstones’?

People of conscience everywhere must protest. So let us rise up now and fight the erasure of Palestinians from The Flintstones.

Holocaust Deniers Fear For Future Of Denial As Original Deniers Die Off

Even a soldier who was only seventeen at war’s end would be pushing ninety today.

Rabbinate To Charge Non-Kosher Restaurants For Non-Kosher Certification

Establishments pursuing a more elite non-kosher clientele will also enjoy more expensive options such as certification that the establishment uses or serves wine consecrated or offered to idolatry.

Oh Felesteen, We Love You So, We Will Burn You Up So The Jews...

O Felesteen, We shall free you from the prison of their wicked acts of farming, through blood and fire! Mostly fire, though. Lots of it.

Netanyahu Staff Now Using Iranian Nuke CDs As Coasters

“It would be a shame to have so many CDs go to waste. My children’s preschool can only use so many of the things in crafts projects.”

PreOccupied Territory: NGOs Can’t Hear Dying Syrians Over Sound Of How Awesome Hamas Is

“Chemical weapons? No, that couldn’t be right. Obama and Kerry promised Russia would take care of removing Assad’s stockpile.”

Jews Don’t Control the Weather? What Do You Call The Ten Plagues?

When a little bit pf Purim comes to Pesach--Trayon White brings his meteorological expertise to the Haggadah

Non-Arab Iran Willing To Fight Israel and the West Down To Very Last Arab

We are fighting a fight of survival. But it’s not our survival that’s at stake. We’ll be fine. Can’t say the same for the Arabs of the region, though.”

Eclipse Distraction So Successful, Mossad Plans More

“We’re chuffed to bits,” gushed a section chief in uncharacteristic exuberance.

Maggid Of Mezeritch: Gebrochts An April Fools Prank Gone WILD!

My friends and I were sure that our disciples, who were learned men, would get the joke, that Gebrocht was an April Fools prank and that would be the end of that. But it didn't happen that way.

Abbas Honors Pigeon That Pooped On Netanyahu’s Motorcade

The defecation took place last week, as Netanyahu’s motorcade made its way through Jerusalem. Bibi has had it tough with birds: Obama compared him to 'chickensh*t' and now this. How FOWL!

BDS Says Vashti Boycott Of Ahashverosh Feast Their Idea

This is not the first time the BDS movement has claimed victory as the result of a development that actually runs counter to their goals.

Israelis Hoping Livni Accepts UN Post So She Can Bring That Organization Down Too!

Israelis look forward to Livni’s eventual impact on the UN, which, if Livni’s record serves as an indicator, will descend into irrelevance and impotence.

Ayatollahs Realize US Would, By Contrast, Veto Any UN Resolution Against Iran

“Obama.’s been angling to abandon Israel since before he took office.”

Palestinian Talmud Appropriated By Jews

Pro-Palestinian advocates claim Jews learning the Palestinian Talmud negates Palestinian culture and recasts it as Jewish in the ongoing Zionist effort to displace the indigenous Palestinian people.

Moses Smashes Tablets At Seeing Nation Worship Two-State Solution

Moses descended from the mountain and beheld the uncontrolled passion with which the masses were dancing about the idol they had adopted.

Consistent Use Of Correct Hebrew Proves Man Is Foreign Spy

“He was using the right verb form for the third-person plural future,” recalled an agent.

Erdogan Wouldn’t Let Elders Of Zion Plan His Fake Coup

“For a coup to be believable, you need the armed forces to be behind it, not just a few units with some others along for the ride.”

Al Aqsa Worshipers Confused By July 4 Fireworks Not Aimed At People

Numerous worshipers at the contested holy site hesitated before commenting on the American July 4 fireworks tradition, confused by the evident lack of intent to harm others in the celebration.

UN Blames Israel For Lousy Mobile Reception In Hamas Tunnels

“It would have been more humane to enable the doomed people trapped in tunnels to play, for example, Candy Crush.”

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