Iranian Saboteurs Outed By Showing Up To Synagogue On Time
An eyebrow-raising violation of established custom.
Unsold Purim Costumes Repackaged As Passover ‘Cereal’
The complete lack of food ingredients makes Rabbinate certification as kosher-for-Passover a formality.
Corrupt Elite Fears Losing Control Of Courts To Different Corrupt Elite
“Ours is the noble kind of corruption. The democratic kind. Theirs is the fascist kind.” Jerusalem, February 9 – A proposed ...
Court-Ordered to Fire Minister Deri, Bibi to Nominate Him as Supreme Court Justice
"Aryeh, I see you on the court, bringing to bear a sensibility that those cloistered, wealthy 'intellectuals' could never muster."
You Zionists Are Trying To Kidnap What We Arabs Have Rightfully Stolen
Florin from the Princess Bride visits (in words) the Kingdom of the Jews
Report: Unwrapping Reason for Poor Showing By Arab Parties in Election
They Spent Campaign Funds On Candy To Celebrate Dead Jews
Only Possible Conclusion From Unpopularity Of Party’s Ideas: Voters Stupid
“Essentially, the people are wrong for thinking Palestinians trying to kill us means we shouldn’t give Palestinians greater capacity to kill us,” explained Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On.
Lapid Worried He Bombed Gaza Too Long Before Election To Affect Vote
The silence of his left-wing partners and the sympathetic media challenges his efforts to link himself to the operation in the minds of potential voters.
Amusement Park Admits: Overbooked Group Visits Just To Ruin Your Family’s Trip
“Frustration for a family that has to wade through throngs of misbehaving day-campers just to miss a shot at a bad stuffed imitation of a popular animated character… that’s what it’s all about.”
Biden Announces He Identifies As Black; All Criticism Therefore Racist
Mainstream media sources rushed to assist.
Family Makes Aliyah Just To Escape All-Pervasive Christmas Music
While acknowledging Zionism in their upbringings, they talked mainly of getting the hell out of the discordant dystopia.
Squad Discovers Its Candidates Lose Elections When Opponents Allowed To Run
“The problem is there are other people running against our people.”
My New Job: Running Nursing Homes And Girls’ Schools For The NY Jewish Community
Every man needs purpose, and I believe I have found a purpose that will propel me to my next pursuit: management of eldercare facilities and hands-on administration of female educational institutions for the Jews of this great state.
Gov’t Runs Out Of Ways To Explain Ban On Temple Mount Jewish Prayer Without...
“If we do our jobs and have to face the violent mob, people might get killed and we might lose our jobs, which would be the biggest tragedy of all.”
Islamic Leaders Worried They May Have Missed A Jewish Shrine To Appropriate
A development that threatens the absolute nature of Islam’s inevitable dominance in Islamist theology.
Police Suggest Jews Wear Special Yellow Stars For Protection
Spotting Jews will become a matter of seconds, rather than having to ask around, which can waste precious minutes during an altercation in which a Jew might defend himself.
Everything You Don’t Like Now Called Apartheid
Following HRW expansion of the term’s application, things that are Apartheid now include lawn maintenance and jelly-filled donuts.
Gaza Mourns 6′ Tall, Bearded Kindergartener Killed By Israel
He met his end in a tunnel that IAF jets pounded with bombs the Thursday night before last, along with six other Palestinian toddlers in their twenties
Police Assure Lod Jews Pogrom Anti-Zionist, NOT Antisemitic
"All the unrest you have experienced this week is merely anti-Zionist, and you may therefore unburden yourselves of the anxiety over antisemitism.”
Gov’t: Jewish Prayer On Temple Mount More Dangerous Than Agricultural Terrorism, Theft From IDF...
“Let me say it again: JEWS. PRAYING. You can just feel the existential threat.”
Soccer and Parkour OK On Temple Mount; Muslims Worried About Jews Desecrating Place By...
Presumptuous of Jews to think they can be not under Islamic domination.
Woman Who Boasts House Already Clean For Pesach Thinks People Admire Her, Not Want...
Reactions included numerous “Likes” in which the irony failed to resonate.
Ahashverosh Enlists J-Street To Oppose Temple Reconstruction
In honor of SHushan Purim: Ben-Ami’s organization rose to combat the common misperception that the Jews give monolithic support to their own redemption and restoration.
God Fails To Get J Street’s Approval Before Promising Land To Jacob
Ben-Ami insisted that American Jewry in general, but especially his organization, must have a say in what happens from "the River of Egypt to the River Euphrates."
Palestinians Hoping Biden Will Remind Jews Not To Be So Goddamn Sovereign
“If the Jews of Israel want to live a normal existence, they have to forfeit the security that everyone needs in order to live a normal existence.”
Hanukkah Light Sends Paul Revere On False-Alarm Ride
“Oops,” he muttered. “Awkward. My bad.”
Khamenei Disappointed Not To Be Named Part Of Biden Transition Team
The Ayatollah grew to think he established almost a birthright to shape US Iran policy during the Obama administration.
Man Torn Between Wanting Return To Normal And Having Excuse Not To Go To...
“I’m not looking forward to when things open up and my wife starts asking why I’m not going.”
Hamas Asks, ‘What Point Of Sukkah If Not To Keep Weapons Near Kids?’
“You don’t exploit that crowded situation to turn the wife, kids, and sisters into human shields? What kind of warped thinking is that?