I am in awe of some of my favorite authors. They can weave any simple daily interaction or commonplace scenario into an immersive page-turning story using only their words!
I have a lot of respect for words; words have power. One can build as well as destroy whole worlds just by using words. Each word is a world of its own. The meaning we have behind our words is so incredibly potent and important.
Similar to words, fire can both build and destroy. We use fire to build, heat up building materials, and use power tools. But the powerful force of fire can likewise quickly destroy: homes, buildings, and lives.
We choose how to use the tools given to us in this world. One can build and one can destroy.
Five years ago today, my husband and I got married. We started building our world together. It’s an ongoing meshing of our own individual worlds, using our words as glue.
Kind words are important in any relationship for it not only to last, but to be strong and enduring. My husband Menashe is very careful with his words. And I’m very creative with mine.
Through the years we have gone through various adventures and experiences together, like every couple does. Something I’ve noticed is we always try to learn the reasoning behind things and try to see the good in each experience. Not only does this help with one’s reaction to situations, but it helps the healing process too. When you see the silver lining, the experience invariably turns out to be less traumatic. When you look back, you don’t see only pain and hurt. But you see love from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. He sees you and He knows what happened. He sees your pain, and that is love. And there is nothing greater than Hashem’s love.
We are simple people, and we didn’t think we would buy an apartment or house of our own until we hit our mid-forties, if ever. It was something that we definitely thought about and decided to try and save up for while we could, as a young couple without kids.
Much to our immense surprise and with an abundance of siyata dishmaya (as well as a push from my incredible mom, a.k.a. the real estate agent), we managed to buy a ground floor garden apartment in northern Israel, where the prices are more affordable. We were pinching ourselves to make sure it was really happening; could it really be true that we, b’chasdei Hashem, had become homeowners before the age of 30?
We were so giddy and excited to move into our home, but as we had spent every last shekel to purchase our place, not much was left in our budget for a moving truck. So we decided to look for a creative solution. We found a fellow who had a van and an open trailer who ran a moving business for small moves. He evaluated our haul and said that he would probably need to make two round trips (about 1.5 hours in each direction) which would take the whole day, but he was prepared to do it. He gave us an attractive price, and assured us that, b’ezras Hashem, all would go smoothly.
On the day of the move, we got up bright and early. By then we were, baruch Hashem, a family of three, but we still had not accumulated that much stuff. The man with the van and his employee started loading up the appliances and furniture, prioritizing most of the larger items for the first trip. We were surprised by how much he managed to fit into the small vehicle, and he was confident that the trip would go well, b’ezras Hashem.
Being that it was late August, it was sweltering like a furnace outside, but our mood was light and positive. We stowed our most fragile items in our car, showed my mom where the rest of our belongings were located, to insure that nothing would be left behind, and headed out behind the van, enroute to our new home.
The drive was unbearably hot and, due to summer break traffic, took significantly longer than 1.5 hours. In fact, we were on the road for at least three hours. Baruch Hashem our adorable daughter behaved well in the car, or it would have been a much more challenging drive.
We, baruch Hashem, arrived at our new home safely, and helped the movers bring in the first haul. They still needed to make the trip back down, load up the second half of our possessions, and drive back up north. We realized that we would probably not see them for at least another four hours, even in the best case scenario, i.e. that the heavy traffic would clear.
So we kept ourselves busy by setting up what we already had from the first trip, and got ready for the final haul. We waited a long time; hours went by and it was getting very late. We knew that he was driving, so we didn’t call our mover, so as not to distract him from the road.
It was past midnight when our phone finally rang; the mover was calling at long last. Menashe answered and asked him whether everything was okay. He reported that they had gotten to our old apartment safely and loaded everything up. It was already late, as the traffic had not cleared up, and we offered to have him stay there overnight, but the mover insisted that he had guaranteed that we would receive everything that day. So he dropped his worker off at home and headed back up north alone.
We decided to go to sleep and he assured us that he would ring the bell when he arrived. Long story short, the bell never rang that night.
When we woke up the next morning, we wondered what had happened. Maybe he decided to go home and continue the trip the next day after all?
That’s when we got the call. The mover was on the line, apologizing profusely.
In fact, he was so apologetic that we didn’t fully understand what had happened until he sent us the photos…
The van had gone up in flames! The car was a sooty skeleton. The front of the car where the engine was had burnt to a crisp, and all the windows were shattered.
Apparently the heat of the day, coupled with the heavy loads and long distance were too much for the overheated motor, and it exploded!
B’chasdei Hashem no one was hurt. The mover was so sorry, he told us that he had crawled into the flaming vehicle to retrieve our belongings. We were so upset that he had risked his life like that. We reassured him that everything was okay, and that as long as no one was injured, we were fine and prepared to deal with the situation.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I was so tired, I was going to pull over and take a quick nap on the side of the road, but I decided that since I had promised to bring everything as soon as possible, I should not fall asleep, because it would not be a short nap. So I kept going. That’s when it happened. If I would have fallen asleep, I probably would not have woken up in time to get out safely.”
We were shocked. If one small thing would have gone differently, this situation would have been A WHOLE LOT worse. Who knows if he would have even been alive to tell us what had happened? And how many other people could have potentially been hurt as well? We were so happy to hear he was okay, we almost forgot that our belongings were in the van as well!
He again apologized profusely, and said that a friend with a moving truck had come to pick up the stuff that was salvaged from the side of the road and that we should expect them later that day.
Meanwhile our families heard about the story and Menashe’s parents came up north to help. We were all in shock about the whole thing, but tried to make the best of the situation and braced ourselves for the arrival of our stuff.
When the load came, we saw the damage, although honestly we thought it would be worse. Yes, most of our dining room chairs were unusable and some duffels of clothing and housewares were likewise unsalvageable. But nothing like we thought it would be when we saw the photos.
The mover really had managed to save much of our stuff from burning, at the expense of his own safety. Everything was covered in soot and broken glass from the car windows, and I continued finding pieces for months afterward. But, baruch Hashem, no one had died. We took that as a win.
It came time to pay the man for his (probably much-regretted) job, and he refused to accept payment. He felt so terrible, and he wanted to reimburse us for the damage to our belongings. We told him we wanted no such thing! Not only that, we even gave him a tip, knowing that he needed every single shekel to buy a new van!
We shared sincere words of appreciation and told him how thankful we were that he was, baruch Hashem, okay and that he went into the burning van to save our stuff when it would have been completely understandable if he had not.
He was so grateful that we were understanding. It made the whole situation a lot more pleasant for everyone involved.
We had every right to be upset. He had every right to be in a foul mood that day. But everyone chose to see the good and to express it in words of gratitude, both to each other and to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Words have power. Fake it till you make it applies to this too. Do upsetting things happen? Sure. Do they often affect us in the long run? Yes! But not in the way we think. They affect how we see the world.
Anyone and everyone experiences difficult things. But if you pay attention, you will notice that the happiest people are those who are the most positive. Both their words and the worlds they create are positive.
Lag B’Omer Same’ach!
