Dear Dating Coach,
I view myself as a guy with a lot of good qualities. I work hard, I study hard, and I do my best to be a good son and friend. I’m also short. All my friends are taller than me. Although I have dated quite a bit, a lot of girls who went out with me said no because of my height. Either they didn’t want to date me at all, or didn’t want to continue after dating me. And they were not tall! There is nothing I can do about my height. I can’t change it. How do I get girls to give me a chance?
Height Me
Dear Height,
We ordered something from Amazon. Ok, maybe more than one thing, but this time only one big box arrived. It was huge! Everyone was excited to open it. (Not my husband. He does not realize that Jeff needed to pay off a wedding and I feel compelled to help when I can. I am a good person. What can I say?) When we opened the box, it was filled with layers and layers of bubble wrap and a small pack of batteries. The gift inside did not match our box expectations. It was basically empty. Give me a little tiny box any day instead. You know what they say… “Good jewelry comes in small packages.” Is that not how that saying goes?
Love…
Height, clearly, you have many positive traits that compel girls to date you but you feel that they often don’t want to continue after they take your “measure.” This is frustrating as your height is not something you can change. Yes, perhaps you can dress in clothes that fit you well and you can focus on your posture, but your actual height remains the same. You want to commit to the right girl for you, and it is upsetting to be written off just because of something that you cannot control.
Yourself…
So, let’s shift instead to what you can control. You are responsible for your character and your good middos. You can share your personality and charm with those you meet. You are able to emphasize your careful manners and your commitment to your learning and future. You can lead with confidence and self-worth. You can put forth effort in kindness, in generosity, and in chesed. You can concentrate on inner growth rather than external growth.
First.
People will take notice. Girls will take notice. You don’t need a girl who see you and sees “short.” You need a girl who sees you and understands that you are everything she ever hoped for. Stand tall and understand your value and the girl meant for you will see you clearly for what you are; the perfect match for her.
