Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Five
Leah’s father yawned and sat up and banged a hand on the dashboard. This car, zul’n zein a kapara – should be an atonement for all my sins.
Dear Dr. Yael
I cannot say one definitive thing that will end the shidduch crisis, but we definitely have to work on being open minded and stopping to pigeon hole everyone.
Soon By You!
I think singles everywhere can safely assume that when we encounter them, we are all truly hoping and praying that they meet their right match soon.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Four
It pleased Leah’s father that the Rosh HaYeshiva had accorded him such respect. He was beside himself with pleasure.
Dear Dr. Yael
It is terrifying to see our parents age. We want our parents to age because that means we have them for longer. It is so special to have the zechus to have parents, but it is difficult to know what to do when we are faced with challenging decisions.
Go Team!
You have been blessed to meet your right match and you are now preparing to spend your lives together. Yet, now that the excitement of your dating and engagement has waned somewhat, you are feeling unsure of how to proceed.
Yanle And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Three
Yankel was hurt by Leah’s remark, only more so because it was true. The chabura was a motley, ragtag crew. To even call them a chabura was an embarrassment.
Dear Dr. Yael,
I don’t want you to minimize the devotion that your mother demonstrates to her family. Closeness and devotion are very important. As Jewish mothers we all struggle with some degree of enmeshment.
Plus One
You are in a difficult position. While I commend your commitment to meeting new people by attending events, the lack of a matchmaker seems to ultimately be slowing you down.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Two
He couldn’t make up his mind if this was beautiful or ugly. Women – the torture of women!
Dear Dr. Yael
It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.
Bumps And Bruises
Of course, you could meet your future husband next week, but realistically you know that there is no timetable, and you can’t help but feel the road shift, leaving you waiting at the curb.
Dear Dr. Yael
No spouse can make you happy. You have to find happiness within yourself and then you can build a loving relationship.
Background Noise
You are not the first couple to mesh differing backgrounds. Many have created families enriched by the flavors of both of their childhoods to create beautiful homes.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty
Yankel was puzzled. He was young, he was old. It didn’t feel like a compliment either way. Now he wasn’t to talk about it – but they were full steam ahead anyway.
Dear Dr. Yael
It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.
Warning Signs
Even though he didn’t display any more “red flags” on the rest of your date, you are concerned that this behavior is not something you should ignore. Was this just a bad moment? Or was your interaction a forecasting of a turbulent future; a discussion that must not be ignored.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Nineteen
Meanwhile the older woman studied the younger hard, from a distance. It was bizarre for Yankel to watch his mother stare to the point of crudeness.
Dear Dr. Yael
Nothing you do will really calm the drama, but if you and your wife can change your perspective, it may make everything easier to bear and thus make you feel calmer (which will ultimately calm the house down as well).
Nope, Not Today.
Even when we are comfortable working toward a future with someone, we can feel blindsided by our date’s easy understanding of what a lifetime together would look like.
Tick Tock
Let’s discuss the possible solutions to the pressure you are feeling. Your family believes that a certain number of dates should determine an engagement. If you believe them – propose!
Yankel And Leah – Chapter 17
Yankel’s father held on to his son’s hand for a brief moment. I was passing by and I was seized by the urge to see this place. I hadn’t planned on disturbing you, but I was recognized by one of your yeshiva bochur friends who insisted on fetching you.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Sixteen
Yankel was a bit pained and puzzled by this question. Surely, Leah was familiar with the way things were done in the yeshiva world. She had to know that this was a complicated matter.
Dear Dr. Yael
As the caregiver, you must not fall into the trap of not caring for yourself. You do not want to get sick yourself emotionally or physically.
Supercharge Me
We don’t date in rom-coms, we don’t date in romance novels, and we don’t date through insta-stories. We date in reality.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter Fifteen
Hat on his head, Yankel walked a brisk step to Leah’s house. His thoughts kept him lively company, and the twenty-minute walk felt like five. Leah was waiting at the door. He noticed the glint of her earrings and then looked away.
Dear Dr. Yael
If you are simply reliant on someone else, it doesn’t mean that you are co-dependent. In a healthy relationship, each person can rely on the other for a variety of needs.
Worst Dressed
Kudos to you for seeing past an outfit on your dates. You knew immediately that here in fact the clothes don’t make the man” and you understand how precious his character and good middos are.
Yankel And Leah – Chapter 14
This is reality. There will always be somebody you don’t like or doing something you don’t like. You can’t walk out. What will be with us when there is a problem? Are you going to walk out on us?
Dear Dr. Yael
Are you choosing happiness? Are you focusing only on your problems? Or are you focusing on all the blessings that Hashem has given you?