Dear Dr. Yael

The first thing you’re going to have to do is work on yourself to not be nervous when she comes as this already puts you in a mood where you feel upset and more sensitive.

A Cheap Date!

I don’t think a cup of coffee is cheap. I don’t think a walk in the park is cheap. I don’t think a date that costs zero dollars is cheap. I do think however that your FOCUS on the cost of Java really refers to the lack of FOCUS on you.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is important to be respectful and assertive. You can respectfully share your wants and feelings while considering your spouse’s wants and feelings as well.

Dating Basics

Think of questions that are both light and deeper to get to know your date as organically as possible while still focused on the goal: to see if you are compatible.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is important to realize that addressing a disrespectful boss requires a careful and strategic approach.

Can’t Catch Me

It is frustrating to go out, have a pleasant time and then hear that the other person does not want to see you again. It is even more upsetting, when this happens multiple times with multiple guys.

Dear Dr. Yael

I believe that I went into therapy with naivete, and that the psychological professionals should offer a type of disclaimer, or warning, before starting with a patient.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Woman are looking for a man. This is more than a gender – it’s character. Women want someone they can rely on, emotionally, physically, and yes, monetarily.

Dear Dr. Yael

I will share some of my ideas, however, this is no substitute for therapy.

Chemistry Lesson

If they are lucky and nothing egregious or ‘red-flaggy’ happens on that first date, they go out again hoping to ease into ‘slight unease’ on their way to ‘dating comfortably.’ This is reality.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is difficult to set boundaries, but we all have the challenge of where and how to give our maaser money. It is important that you tell your friend you love his chesed and that he is always trying to help others, but that it is hard for you to always feel you have to give to all the causes he is fighting for.

It’s Not Me, It’s You

I can’t imagine that you expect that everyone who goes on a date is immediately attracted and excited about the person they meet. I would boldly suggest that many people who go on first dates are less than thrilled about their dates’ first impression.

Dear Dr. Yael

I am printing your column with an answer in the hope that you will send this letter to your brother-in-law, and it will impact the way he is treating you, his sister, and your marriage.

Self-Careless

At the very least, take a few minutes every day to sit quietly, to intentionally relax your muscles and to release the stress and knots that have certainly taken root under your skin.

Dear Dr. Yael

Imagine the tremendous improved relations that can occur if we truly attempt to open our minds to divergent mindsets.

Wish List

Today, daters are careful when they determine what characteristics matter to them. I hear a lot of words like, smart, outgoing, ambitious, spontaneous, and educated. These are all good words.

Dear Dr. Yael

A covert narcissist is sometimes called a vulnerable narcissist and can be emotionally fragile and very sensitive to criticism. Covert narcissists may outwardly show what looks like empathy, but their underlying purpose is to get you to engage with them so they serve their own needs in some way.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is hard to feel happy, or even content, when our brothers and sisters are hostages and others are fighting for us. But, unless we channel these feelings into davening and chesed – good deeds, they are extremely unhelpful feelings.

Can Anyone Hear Me?

The only way to fix this is by changing the game. Instead of two parties, we need three.

Dear Dr. Yael

Look for things to do to help others. When we give to others we are giving to ourselves as we feel better and more productive.

Agree To Disagree

Let me start by saying that I hope you meet in the middle. It would be wonderful if you were both on the same page in hashkafa and could ride off into the aqueduct, er, sunset.

Dear Dr. Yael

Your husband, as you report, has been raised in a home where his mother was completely dependent on his father. Thus, his expectation is for you to be the same way on some level.

Nope, Not Today

When something is not working, when something feels unhealthy, or unproductive it’s smart to step away. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves so we can see what hasn’t been right for us.

Meet Your Match With Dr. Jack Cohen

It started at the young age of 12 when I became associated with one of the leading rabbis of the last 100 years, Rav Avigdor Miller. He was a genius in human relations and I sucked up as much knowledge as I could learn from him.

Dear Dr. Yael

All drugs carry risks such as grogginess and other side effects. You should consult your healthcare provider before using any medication.

I’m The Captain Now

Sit down with your parents, a dating coach, a trusted mentor, or rebbetzin. Tell them how you feel and how you DON’T feel. Be honest and forthcoming without shame.

Dear Dr. Yael

You should move if you want to move, but you shouldn’t feel pressured by what other people do or by what other people tell you to do.

Dear Dr. Yael

Compliments are gifts of love, but they only work if they are sincere and are given freely, without coercion.

Diet For Dates

Sure, I would not be so glib as to deny that our appearance and even size matter in shidduchim. Perhaps there is even a point in being mindful of what we eat regardless of size or weight. Yet, this question impacts you as a whole, your life, and your goals that supersedes dating.

Dear Dr. Yael

Is your wife using the silent treatment as a manipulation tactic or is she using it because she doesn’t know how to talk about her feelings?

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Printed from: https://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/dear-dr-yael-439/2024/03/15/

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