Marriage and Relationships

Unfortunately, often parents can raise many children while many children cannot always care for their parents properly. It is so important that those who are suffering have a support group to turn to to help them through this difficult time period.

If a kallah was writing with this question about her chosson, I believe that there would be little to no pushback. A girl is allowed to notice clothing, but a guy is not?

I know that we have little control in our life other than how we will handle the challenges that Hashem gives us. We can only work on ourselves.

Sometimes we want something so much that we negate things that typically matter to us.

Perhaps you can ask directly for more help from your other siblings. Share with them how much you would appreciate their direct help as your one sister does.

I agree that a six-week break so early in your dating process is complicated and perhaps even unrealistic. When your connection is still so tenuous and new, it can be hard to nurture it with six weeks dividing you.

Every situation is different. Also, it is important to try to remember that your children may still love you, even if they don’t come for the holidays. Perhaps they have more difficult children or really need more space for whatever reason.

It is true that if you date your friend’s brother and it doesn’t work, even with care and respect, it is unlikely that your friendship would be unaffected. He is her brother, her family, and as much as she loves you, there is great potential for awkwardness at the very least, and even a ruined friendship.

I tell you this story as a way of giving you chizuk to do what is not simple.

I appreciate your position. I really do. At the same time, the chance (even the small chance) that this could be your happily ever after means that you need to try.

Of course, you both feel torn when faced with their concerns. They are your parents and you are conditioned to agree with them. At the same time, their disagreements are not yours, and are creating painful conflict between a couple that otherwise feels just right.

You will ultimately work less hard if your children and grandchildren are involved. Complimenting them for helping you will also build their self-esteem. Additionally, they will learn how to deal more effectively with their own children if you delegate tasks to your children and demonstrate appreciation.

If you are asking me if being happy is a bad thing, I couldn’t possibly disagree. If you are wondering if I believe in being mindful and present, then the answer is of course, ‘yes.’

For those of you who are dating, I ask you to try not to marry someone with the hope of changing them. A healthy marriage can help someone grow emotionally, spiritually and bolster someone’s self-esteem.

A reputation is something that someone builds over time, so we can trust that this is going to give us a better understanding of their true character and behavior.

I applaud your attitude as you seem to appreciate all the brachos that Hashem gave you as well as treasure all the good years in your marriage. We can all learn from your positive attitude in life.

It is possible that there is something you are missing when it comes to his family, and it is equally probable that whatever has caused their disconnect will assure you of his commitment to an emotional connection and his stability.

I do not know what kind of childhood your husband had, however, if you want to make this marriage work, you must try to focus on his positive qualities instead of his negative issues. I know this is easier said than done.

You need to discuss what your individual financial expectations are. Not only about what you will each be contributing as a couple, but also about what you expect your spouse to offer you in terms of gifts, vacations, and the like.

Sometimes, we need guidance and counsel. Sometimes, we can benefit greatly from advice. Yet, there are times however, when too many voices only cause chaos and pain.

Even when things are going well, we may have bruised feelings when we feel a stronger connection earlier that the person we are dating or feel ready before they do. We are all responsible for our own feelings. We get to decide on the risks we take with them.

Covert narcissists are insecure, they can be passive aggressive and hypersensitive to criticism, but they have no problem being critical in a passive way.

Time to set some boundaries. This has to be done right away before you are all gathered at the Seder table.

Set realistic goals for what needs to be accomplished. It is important to focus on the most important areas such as the kitchen, dining area, and other places that chametz is generally found.

It’s time to slow things down. Nothing has changed. Everything is still going smoothly. You still like each other. You still want to continue dating. The only addition, is that he is ready to discuss your future, and you are not – yet.

I want you to know that you are not alone in this dilemma and drinking has made Purim a challenging Yom Tov for many women. I am not a Rav but I know there are men who do not drink on Purim and keep all the other mitzvos.

Someone is calling you to ask about this person’s character, intelligence, background, and more. They are not asking you to predict the future, to see through your crystal ball, or to decide the fate of the person they are calling you about.

Understanding the cause of why your mother-in-law behaved this way may help you come to terms with it more. Underneath this venom lies a negative person who probably had a very dysfunctional childhood.

The resume is your introduction, a basic understanding of you so that potential daters (and their parents) can surmise if you might be at all compatible. Instead of fighting it, use it as a wonderful tool. This will help you to not go on dates that don’t make sense for you.

In your situation, you sound like a person who wants to do chesed but you are stuck in a situation where you are dealing with a very complicated, needy person.