Dear Dr. Yael

Helping divorced couples remarry may seem unorthodox, but I have actually been involved in such cases and have, with siyatta d'Shmaya, helped divorced couples, who wanted to reconcile, remarry each other successfully.

But He Likes Me!

Second guessing your decision when it comes to shidduchim is so difficult where clarity is the greatest gift you can ask for.

Dear Dr. Yael

It takes a certain sensitivity to do marital therapy. The therapist should try to put themselves in the client’s shoes and try to be careful not to open up issues that the couple will have to live with later and not have the tools to deal with.

No Traveling!

It can be hard to adjust and pivot in order to arrange a date, especially with someone who lives out of state.

Dear Dr. Yael

Just this past week two families related that they had been contemplating the purchase of a medical alert device but had pushed off the process... until one of their family members fell at home and spent the entire night on the floor alone, unable to call for help.

Breaking Boxes

Your letter was difficult to read. I hear your frustration so clearly in every word you wrote and how baffled you are by something that seems so clear to you.

Dear Dr. Yael

Seasonal affective disorder, also known as winter depression, is a real thing. It is a type of depressive disorder that only tends to surface during the winter months.

Plain Jane

Sure, she has been the bright and shiny option for so long, giving you the ability to remain in the shadows. But she never put you in the background, you allowed yourself to be placed there.

Dear Dr. Yael

Ultimately, that high that your wife gets from shopping will not last long term, as stuff will not make her happy.

Plastic Wrapped

The only way to build trust is to share. This is scary because it makes us vulnerable. When we share with someone, we are hoping that they will safeguard our secrets and never use them to hurt us.

Dear Dr. Yael

Keeping communication open is very important. This is crucial for all children, so you can detect any issues or problems early on.

Always Leads To Never

It is perfectly normal to have a specific vision for your future and can even be helpful in helping you to achieve and grow. Presumably however, you have dated people with these criteria and have not yet found the person for you.

Dear Dr. Yael

Dr. Yael’s answer to this unfortunate mother was that she felt sorry for “what happened to you and to your family.”

Lost Treasure

Some daters and couples simply need more time because more often than not, both parties don’t develop a connection at the exact same rate.

Dear Dr. Yael

No one should ever feel inferior because they needed to use medication to help them overcome their depression, anxiety, or any other emotional difficulties.

One And Done

The only thing that meal planning does not account for is “the toddler.” The toddler you see, always holds that one card that can’t be contested...

Should I Wait To Date?

Your friends are seemingly dating with excitement and you don’t share their enthusiasm for a future that you are not ready for.

Dear Dr. Yael

I am so sorry about what happened to you and to your family. Please don’t feel guilty. You had no idea this would happen.

Dear Dr. Yael

Yes, your daughter may be moody, but she needs positive attention and love, not negativity.

Can’t Stop The Feeling

Your sister and her clear thrill at being engaged satisfied your friends and family while your calm demeanor worries them and now you; begging the question, “Do I feel enough?”

Dear Dr. Yael

Using imagery with deep breathing usually makes the techniques more effective and generally helps people maintain their focus better.

Green-Eyed Monster

Unfortunately, doing the right thing doesn’t always feel good. The pain after self-sacrifice can feel extremely hurtful as you are already putting aside your own singular happiness.

Dear Dr. Yael

The fact that she has been diagnosed and is taking medication can be a positive thing as it may show that she is someone who takes care of issues and overcomes challenges.

Red Flags

The hothead gets angry because “nobody else knows how to drive!” and loses control when accidents happen (ie. a spilled drink).

Ferberizing

We always hear from well meaning people to read Dr. Gerber and to FERBERIZE him, but this method just doesn’t seem appropriate for us.

I Am Not Picky

To the single, it will forever place ‘single status’ blame on their shoulders alone, without any regard for the myriad of circumstances that may attribute to why someone is still not married at a certain age.

Unique Uniformity

You believe you are all interchangeable at best and at worst the least shiny penny in a pocketful of change.

Dear Dr. Yael

Remind the children (and their parents) that we only eat at the table at Bubby’s house. If you keep saying this (if needed) in a calm and happy voice, the kids will likely comply and not take any offense.

Dear Dr. Yael

When a person has a secure attachment style, they feel confident in their relationship and in their partner.

Single In The Sukkah

Often, the well-meaning suggestions offered at home by siblings and parents on whom you should be dating, and how you should be dating, only cause the single sibling pain and anxiety.

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Printed from: https://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/dear-dr-yael-289/2021/01/15/

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