“I have a little dreidel, I think it spins all right,
I found it when I stepped on it in the middle of the night.”
“I have a little dreidel, I found it in the wash,
And that’s not all I found in there; there’s also lots of nosh!”
“I have a little dreidel, It’s great for you to spin,
We don’t know where it came from but it always lands on shin.”
“I have a lot of dreidels, I don’t know what they’re worth,
I don’t know where I got them and I think they’re giving birth.”
“We have a lot of dreidels, we find them when we clean;
Last night I cleaned the bathroom and I think I found nineteen.”
Dear Mordechai,
When it comes to Chanukah, I specifically burn Greek olive oil, thinking that, as Moses said to Pharaoh, “You too shall donate.” My question is, how do I incorporate Greek yogurt into my Chanukah avodah?
B.G.
Dear B.,
You smear it on your skin to combat whatever the oil is doing to you. Though I’m not sure how it’s going to make you skinnier.
But if you’re using Greek olive oil and Greek yogurt, why stop there? You should probably celebrate Chanukah with as many Greek dishes as you can, which you should then break.
Dear Mordechai,
I come from a family that gives gifts, but my wife does not. Please help us.
Present Danger
Dear Mr. Danger,
Okay, don’t give her gifts.
It happens to be that a lot of people say that they don’t hold of Chanukah gifts, because they say it comes from a non-Jewish custom. I don’t think the Maccabees exchanged presents.
The big issue, though, is that these people announce it like they’re better than you because they don’t buy things for other people, just because the “Goyim” do. When you ask them the difference between Purim and Halloween, they’ll tell you that Purim is about giving and Halloween is about taking, but when the “Goyim” have a holiday focused on giving, all of a sudden we’re not so into that.
Nevertheless, you should probably respect their customs, so long as they’re doing it for the right reasons. For example, they say they don’t hold of Chanukah gifts, but they’re probably showering everyone else with presents the rest of the year. Right?
Unfortunately, there’s no good way to argue this point without sounding like you just want gifts.
Also, a lot of people who don’t hold of Chanukah presents say that they do give Chanukah gelt, although somehow you don’t see any of that. There is a source for the gelt minhag, though. Apparently, gelt started because people started tipping teachers on Chanukah when the Greeks tried to stop us from learning Torah. They gave money to their kids to bring to the rebbeim. And apparently, there was some kind of misunderstanding, and the rebbeim weren’t getting any money, and the kids were showing up to school with piles of donuts. So now the minhag is to just give it straight to the kids.
But we still prefer presents. The biggest problem with gelt is that people know exactly what you paid for it. Chanukah presents, on the other hand, are usually bought on Black Friday, when everyone else is buying X-mas presents. Not that that’s why you’re buying it then. Things are just on sale. We’re the one nation that’s great at finding things on sale, and we have to give cash?
I personally give gifts, but I don’t really get gifts. Apparently, that’s become my minhag. Also, I give my kids’ teachers gelt, but no one gives me gelt, even though I teach. Apparently, that’s my minhag too.