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May 23, 2013 /14 Sivan, 5773
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The Tosfos Yomtov was convinced that the death of 300,000 –600,000 Jews during the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648-49 were because of improper Tefila. Communicated: Tefilla

Chillul Tefila Bifarhesia, as well as halachicly challenged verbiage and dress, are external manifestations of a critical lack of personal yiras shomayim which has lethal consequences.



February 2013

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Schmutter-020813

There are also companies now that sell things to stick on your car, like eyebrows, moustaches, etc., in case you want to give it some more personality.

Dear Mordechai,

My wife bought watermelon costumes on sale, so we decided to go with a watermelon theme for mishloach manos. We got watermelon sucking candies, watermelon taffies, and then we ran out of ideas. So we bought actual watermelons. How on earth am I supposed to carry a whole bunch of these around town, dressed as a watermelon?

Melon-colly

Dear Melon,

I don’t know. Strap yourself to the roof?

Dear Mordechai,

Do I have to give you mishloach manos?

Your chavrusah

Dear Your,

No. The truth is most people don’t really want to get mishloach manos. We just want to give. But the people we give will feel uncomfortable unless they can give us back. So we’re stuck in this whole awkward social thing, which is what the rabbis are trying to relieve. But on the other hand, we want to see each other on Purim and show off our car moustaches, and it’s weird to show up at someone’s house empty-handed, especially since we didn’t call before we came and we’re dressed as pirates and firemen. Sure, the yeshiva guys do it when they’re collecting, but there’s always one guy in each group of bochurim who, um, leaves a little something behind.

Dear Mordechai,

I just saw a car with a moustache drive by with a huge, screaming watermelon strapped to the roof rack. Should I stop drinking?

Still Sober

Dear Mordechai,

Someone I know gave me a gorgeous mishloach manos containing a grogger, a wind-up toy, some stickers, a twisty straw, a cute little notepad, and a pen. My question is, shouldn’t there be some food in there?

Still Fasting

Dear Still,

I don’t know. Maybe something’s edible. Start tasting things.

Dear Mordechai,

But I already heard the Megillah. Twice. What’s the grogger for?

Dear Still,

Breaking open watermelons.

Dear Mordechai,

I just woke up in a really bad neighborhood in a watermelon costume. Help! I think I need someone to pick me up.

Have a question for “You’re Asking Me?” I’m going to be out picking up a watermelon guy. Just leave it on the doorstep.

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Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we attempt to answer questions sent in by people who fortunately have fake names, so they won’t be embarrassed. I don’t know how they got through school, though.

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Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we delve into questions sent in by readers. We might as well. It’s not like we can listen to music.

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While Pesach cleaning, I found a whole bunch of questions that were sent in at some point that I somehow haven’t gotten to. So I’m going to address them now, in the hopes that doing so will get me out of Pesach cleaning.

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I get a lot of questions around Purim, and I don’t always have a chance to answer them all. So let’s get started:

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You know what I noticed since I started writing this column? That people don’t write in to ask questions so much as they write in to complain.

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Welcome to “You’re Asking Me?” the column where people are basically saying, “This guy doesn’t know me at all. Let me ask him for advice.”

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Ever since I started this question-and-answer column, people have been coming over and asking me questions.

Baruch Hashem, right?

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