There are also companies now that sell things to stick on your car, like eyebrows, moustaches, etc., in case you want to give it some more personality.
My wife bought watermelon costumes on sale, so we decided to go with a watermelon theme for mishloach manos. We got watermelon sucking candies, watermelon taffies, and then we ran out of ideas. So we bought actual watermelons. How on earth am I supposed to carry a whole bunch of these around town, dressed as a watermelon?
I don’t know. Strap yourself to the roof?
Do I have to give you mishloach manos?
No. The truth is most people don’t really want to get mishloach manos. We just want to give. But the people we give will feel uncomfortable unless they can give us back. So we’re stuck in this whole awkward social thing, which is what the rabbis are trying to relieve. But on the other hand, we want to see each other on Purim and show off our car moustaches, and it’s weird to show up at someone’s house empty-handed, especially since we didn’t call before we came and we’re dressed as pirates and firemen. Sure, the yeshiva guys do it when they’re collecting, but there’s always one guy in each group of bochurim who, um, leaves a little something behind.
I just saw a car with a moustache drive by with a huge, screaming watermelon strapped to the roof rack. Should I stop drinking?
Someone I know gave me a gorgeous mishloach manos containing a grogger, a wind-up toy, some stickers, a twisty straw, a cute little notepad, and a pen. My question is, shouldn’t there be some food in there?
I don’t know. Maybe something’s edible. Start tasting things.
But I already heard the Megillah. Twice. What’s the grogger for?
Breaking open watermelons.
I just woke up in a really bad neighborhood in a watermelon costume. Help! I think I need someone to pick me up.
Have a question for “You’re Asking Me?” I’m going to be out picking up a watermelon guy. Just leave it on the doorstep.Mordechai Schmutter
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