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If you sit down at the meal and discover that you don’t know a soul at your table, the most adult thing to do is to introduce yourself to your tablemates. Chances are that whoever did the seating didn’t just throw the place cards up in the air and let gravity decide who sits where. There probably was some forethought that went into the seating process even if it seems totally random to you, so give it a shot and you may be pleasantly surprised. If that option really doesn’t work for you, then if there appears to be empty seats at another table where you happen to have a friend or two, it is probably okay to switch seats. Whatever you decide to do, don’t come to the baalei simcha and whine about your seat. It just isn’t appropriate. Similarly, if you have any dietary preferences or restrictions, while you might want to discuss them with your host before the wedding, don’t even think about raising the issue with them during the simcha. Take up any problems with the wait staff. And if they can’t help you, just grin and bear it.

Finally, we know that reality can sometimes intrude on the best laid plans of mice and men and that the happiest day of one person’s life may coincide with the most hectic day of another’s. If you are having one of those days and are tempted to just be a no show, remember that if you got an invitation to a simcha, it means that it will really makes someone’s day if you show up. So don’t worry about what you are wearing, don’t worry about coming half an hour late and don’t worry about what your hair looks like.

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Just come.

Because you will be missed. And the simcha won’t be complete without you.

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Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who writes for numerous websites, newspapers, magazines and many private clients. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.